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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

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Dear Dr. RE

I need someone to diagnose me please.  Here are my symptoms:  my first month off the pill.  I've been cramping for weeks now but I'm about 4-5 days late (I say late, but I that's just going by what my natural cycle has been when off the pill in the past - I've always been pretty regular).  Not PG (as far as EPT can tell).  I also have a bump on the back of my head that I discovered last night (which may or may not be just how my head is shaped).  So tell me:

a) just one cancer

b) two-fer cancer - lady parts + head

c) menopause

d) b & c (which btw, would totally ruin my day)

 

image Mabel the Loser.

Re: Dear Dr. RE

  • I say your body is just trying to regulate itself. It's your first month off the pill. 
    [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/21j7fvm.jpg[/IMG]
  • i think it's just like when you've been running your car on synthetic motor oil for an extended period of time, and one day you decide to switch to naturally occurring peanut oil*. you just need to work the kinks out!

     

    * i forgot to mention that in this scenario you are actually a peanut.

    image
  • Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Also, I was way late (by my normal cycle) before I got a positive hpt. I never rule that *** out until a period arrives. 

  • I have bumps all over my head and neck that my doctor says are totally normal for us lay-deez.  They're just cysts of some sort.  So don't really worry about that.

    Also, I think a few days late is nothing when coming off BC.  I vote you're absolutely fine.


    image
    we all fall down sometimes
    brass and ballet flats
  • I think your menses is trying to escape from the back of your head.
  • image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Also, I was way late (by my normal cycle) before I got a positive hpt. I never rule that *** out until a period arrives. 

    Oh Wendy. D is just both options b and c. I think you're all the way on the last Sunday couch now.

    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • Congratulations!  You're growing a fetus in your brain.
    image
  • image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Also, I was way late (by my normal cycle) before I got a positive hpt. I never rule that *** out until a period arrives. 

    I just meant that its probably menopause mixed with multiple cancers. But I think Hezz is onto something. Mabel has a bump on her head too - sister solidarity (though my h's theory there is that her brain has decided to leave in search of somewhere that it will be used more frequently).
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • Oh, and I think you're pregnant.

    With spider eggs.

    In the back of your head.

    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • I think your cycle is just confused because there's no one to tell it what to do now that you're off contraception.

    It could take a few months to get back into regular cycles.  Or you're pregnant, and it's too early for EPT to tell.

    The head lump is def cancer, btw.  Or an enlarged lymph node, zit, ingrown hair, sebaceous cyst, teratoma, carbuncle, hematoma, or spiders.  Or nothing.

    We, we like to party.
  • image salimoo:

    Oh, and I think you're pregnant.

    With spider eggs.

    In the back of your head.

    NOT FUNNY.
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • image salimoo:
    image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Also, I was way late (by my normal cycle) before I got a positive hpt. I never rule that *** out until a period arrives. 

    Oh Wendy. D is just both options b and c. I think you're all the way on the last Sunday couch now.

    Oh my. I was trying to figure out an acronym. I, uh, I should go home now.  

  • Definitely pregnant with a head baby.  Try standing on your head so the fetus can float up to your cooter.  Otherwise it's going to get birthed via your ear canal.
    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I heard cali cursed you for posting random thoughts in MM official entry threads. She's mean.
  • image wingedbride:
    I heard cali cursed you for posting random thoughts in MM official entry threads. She's mean.

    You're the worst offender, you know.  You are going dowwwwwwwwwwwwn.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • image CaliopeSpidrman:

    image wingedbride:
    I heard cali cursed you for posting random thoughts in MM official entry threads. She's mean.

    You're the worst offender, you know.  You are going dowwwwwwwwwwwwn.

    So, you are the cause of my trots today and not the little Nookies, is what you are saying?

  • image CaliopeSpidrman:

    You're the worst offender, you know.  You are going dowwwwwwwwwwwwn.

    Okay, I can never hear that without Welcome to the Jungle going through my head all day. So, thanks. 

    Nove, you've got twins. One in the ute, one in the brain. To get them both to the right place I recommend cartwheels.  

    image

    "The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab

    Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
  • Hope you just took a pregnancy test too soon to tell :)
    image
    Mucho likes purple nails and purple cupcakes
  • image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Don't worry....I stared at it for a loooong time before I figured it out too. I was trying to figure out what kind of medical procedure a b & c was.

    image
  • image Badgerengr:
    image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Don't worry....it stared at it for a loooong time before I figured it out too. I was trying to figure out what kind of medical procedure a b & c was.

    I thought engineers were supposed to be smart.
  • image KayRI:
    image Badgerengr:
    image WendyToo:

    Can you spell out what d is for those of us on the Monday couch?

    Don't worry....it stared at it for a loooong time before I figured it out too. I was trying to figure out what kind of medical procedure a b & c was.

    I thought engineers were supposed to be smart.

    All lies.

    image
  • Maybe you'll be like Zeus and the baby will spring from your head fully grown and in armor. 
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