So it seems as if this is a trendy topic on here but I can't find the exact answers that I'm looking for. I too had some experiences with my (Jewish) MIL. I am Catholic and welcomed the idea of an interfaith wedding with open arms! I wanted the chuppa, the ketubah, the breaking of the glass, the hora etc.. etc.. and I did all the research to make it all happen! I researched rabbi's high and low and was determined to find the right fit for us. It came to my attention that my faith was being criticized by the ILs... it immediately hurt my feelings since I was trying so hard to accommodate my FIANCE and his faith (not that he really cares too much about it). The only Catholic tradition that I wanted was to walk down the aisle of a church with my dad... organ and trumpets blasting and whatnot. Well- after it had been planned and the church AND RABBI booked, I was QUICKLY shot down (they had known about it for weeks at that point and never said anything). It was all about what "her friends" would think if we "made them" go into a church to watch her son get married under a crucifix. Well from there, an avalanche followed. She criticized my desire to have a honeymoon registry and was MORTIFIED when it was put on our wedding website. She demanded that we take it down because "her friends" were already asking her about it. She refused to minimize her guest list despite the fact that we (bride and groom) and my parents had all minimized our lists by 10% to accommodate budget and the venue.
I'm a non-traditional person, I march to the beat of my own drums and I'm ok with that because I ALWAYS take people's feelings into consideration. The church thing was a mistake on my part as I didn't know the feelings of the Jewish faith re: the crucifix but she used it to her advantage to get everything she wanted after that. My fiance (now husband) asked me to just let things go to avoid conflict and so I did because we had been experiencing too much stress on our relationship because of all these problems with her opinions. We were fighting so much that I wanted nothing more than the day to just come and go and be done with so we could go back to normal (and don't worry, we have ! ).
She planned the rehearsal dinner without any input from me. Since I have a large family, we only decided to invite my godparents and the bridal party. Three days before the wedding she began asking me for the spelling of everyone's names. I asked her if she was making seating arrangements. She responded (via email) that she was and that she'd send them to me. She split all of my guests up so that they were all sitting with people they didn't know! My guests were already a minority and I didn't feel as though she should split them all up as it tends to get awkward- she did it at my shower too and split up all my BMs from one another! So I politely told her that I didn't like the way she had it set up in an email and that I wanted my family to just be able to have a comfortable dinner while eating together and that they could mingle with everyone beforehand. Hours later I get a response that was CCed to both my husband and my FIL.... as if she was tattletale-ing on me! It said "I'm sorry that my family makes you uncomfortable but I will honor your seating requests." Well.... not only was I flabbergasted that she put this evil spin on it 3 days before the wedding but I was soo beyond hurt that she felt the need to "rat me out" by CCing my husband and FIL. I wrote a polite response back to her (with the help of my aunts who were sitting there as I burst into tears over this email) and told her that she took my words out of context and that she shouldn't take away from this very happy time. I received no response and she acted normal when they arrived in town for the rehearsal.
This is a woman who, during her Mother-son dance, STOPPED THE BAND in the middle of the song because they were playing the wrong one!!!!! Are you f-ing serious?!!?!? I was MORTIFIED for my hubby and pray to god that no one caught the look on my face in a video of some sort while this was happening.
Since the wedding, I've wanted nothing to do with her. I just wanted to move on with my life and forget about the whole wedding. I just haven't been able to bring myself to do so. Every time she calls or my hubs tells me that he was talking to her on his way home from work, I just roll my eyes and my blood pressure rises. I don't know how to get over it or approach her to talk about it. I never wanted a bad relationship with her but I feel like if I don't nip this in the bud, it's only going to get worse once we have kids. I just don't know how to approach this gracefully in a way that will improve our relationship from here on out.
I NEED ADVICE, Ladies!!! Please someone help a girl out here! I'm not an angry person but she's still dragging me down and the wedding was 2 months ago! I love my husband so much and I don't want to feel like I'm taking this out on him for something that his psycho, control freak of a mother did to me!