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Urgent advice about MIL!!

Here is the story: I got married to a guy from another country, we moved in to europe. His parents offered to rent us an apartment, that happens to be on top of theirs, we signed a lease for 3 years, and its been just one.

I thought it was a good idea at the begining, because I didnt knew anybody here, and they seemed friendly. But now, they want to know every small detail about me, like where we go, for how long, who came to visit... (please note that before we moved in here, we used to live in mexico and had no contact with them)

Now my MIL is angry because I dont share each minute of my day with her, because I simply don't want. I thought we got alone well, but after spending the hollidays in Mexico she does not talk to me anymore. Please note that this is a very uncomfortable situation because we live in the same building, we run in to each other each day, and Im pregnant. I wished she'd care a little bit about the baby at least, and that makes me really sad. I need some advice!!!

Re: Urgent advice about MIL!!

  • You can't have it both ways.  First you say you are upset that she wants to know every little thing.  Then you are upset because she doesn't ask about the baby.  Maybe she desn't know how to give you middle ground.  Why don't you and your husband talk to her.  Tell her you are uncomfortable with her knowing every detail but would like to talk a few times a week or whatever.  (As well as acknowledging each other in public)  If it were me, I would want to break the lease to get my space, but living that close to my parents or in-laws would drive me nuts.
  • Cultural issue.

    It's what's expected by people of certain cultures.

    Sorry for your troubles.

  • She's not entitled to know everything about your life. Share what you feel comfortable sharing and keep mum about the rest. Don't apologize or make any explanations.

     If she gets mad, pouts or gives you the silent treatment then that's her problem. Not yours. Be polite to her but don't bend over backward to try and appease her. Don't beg for forgiveness of be her doormat. And your husband needs to back you up 100%.

     

    That being said, this is par for the course when you rent a home from family members. She may think that you guys owe her since she's putting a roof over your heads. Consider finding another place to live.

    It's also normal and expected in some cultures for parents to be heavily involved in their adult children's lives. Did your husband talk to you about this before you hot married? Did you meet his family before the wedding? 

    What is your husband saying/doing about your current situation?

     

     

     

     

     

    image
  • Move.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • Who the hell signs a 3-year lease to live over their inlaws?
    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • How much do you have to pay to break the lease? I'd go that route.
  • If you can't break the lease, just be cordial.  Say hi, ask how she's doing, maybe invite them out to dinner once in a while.  She's ticked but she'll come around.
    image Visit The Nest! Love to scrapbook!
  • image MarynJoe:
    If you can't break the lease, just be cordial.  Say hi, ask how she's doing, maybe invite them out to dinner once in a while.  She's ticked but she'll come around.

     

    This. Exactly. Be polite, don't give her any reasonable reason to have issue with you, but stand your ground and maintain your boundaries. She is adjusting to the marriage just like you are. It will take time for that middle ground to develop. 

  • Why are there never any comments on the h's?

     



  • What does your H say about the situation?

     

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic *This is not legal advice*
  • chalk it up to a lesson. dont ever do that again.
    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • She sounds like a loon.  Sorry to hear about this.
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    image
  • that apartment didn't just happen to be over their's...it's like you said "I signed the lease and paid the rent, so where is the wonderful place you showed me pictures of"

    you MOVED IN TO THE APARTMENT ABOVE them

    take responsibility for your decision...hindsight is 20/20 but some of this was predictable and preventable

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