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Momma Duggar's audio message to baby Jubilee

Re: Momma Duggar's audio message to baby Jubilee

  • I listened to it the other day and was in tears the entire time. Its beautiful and I think a lovely way for her to heal.
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  • I would feel like a giant AW. I feel like a miscarriage is very personal and only those who have had one can possibly feel all the emotions that go along with one. I would not do what she/the family is doing. 


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  • I cried. I agree with E&A it is a great way to heal. I have not went through a m/c but my sister has and I think this would have been an amazing way to help her heal.
  • It sounds like she is reading a story book. It's odd. 

     The reference to babies not being a responsibility is weird too. 

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  • I know everyone heals differently, but it seems like it was staged.  I can't imagine being so public about it. 
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  • Eeeeaahhh, IDK. It's weird for me. I think that it's great that she is trying to heal from the pain, but this video seems strange to me... 

    I wish them the best, though, I can't imagine having to deal with that.

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  • image LemonLover33:

    I would feel like a giant AW. I feel like a miscarriage is very personal and only those who have had one can possibly feel all the emotions that go along with one. I would not do what she/the family is doing. 


    I think you can't universalize how people feel about it though. I've really come to terms with that since I've been on TN. I really, truly, don't see an M/C as the devastation that others do (I mean people similar to the age/economic status/lack of fertility issues I had when I had my experience).

    Yes, I think it's a personal decision to choose how to handle it, but I don't think it has to be a personal experience. That's their choice. A year or so ago, we had a huge mc thread because I didn't understand why people didn't just bootstraps and move on. I think it was Jilly who really opened my mind about grief. I'm so glad she did though. My experience was extremely private, emotional for a short time, and now I'm over it. I was in a crap relationship and easily see the blessing that it was to not have a successful pregnancy. That's not M.D.'s experience, or situation, and that's allowed. 

    ETA: I didn't watch it and likely won't.  

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • Idk, I didn't watch the video.  

    She's damned either way. Yes, this is a very public way of dealing with this. However, they've chosen to live their entire lives publicly so it follows that. If I did a video like that, it would be in totally different context and out of character. Their whole life is aw, so this isn't any different. 

    If they never acknowledged anything publicly at all, surely people would be all like "she's so callous. She has so many kids she doesn't care about losing one," blah blah insert some other insult/judgment here.

    I don't think they can win. People are too judgmental when it comes to this family, and IMHO spend too much energy hating their personal choices/lives 

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  • image blueshirt2003:

    It sounds like she is reading a story book. It's odd. 

     The reference to babies not being a responsibility is weird too. 

    This is what I thought too.  Its taking everything in my Duggar loving body to say that, but its just strange.  

    I guess I feel like I'm intruding on an intimate moment or something.   

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  • image Fancy3Face:
    image blueshirt2003:

    It sounds like she is reading a story book. It's odd. 

     The reference to babies not being a responsibility is weird too. 

    This is what I thought too.  Its taking everything in my Duggar loving body to say that, but its just strange.  

    I guess I feel like I'm intruding on an intimate moment or something.   

     

    Yea, I like them too.  

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  • image Fancy3Face:
    image blueshirt2003:

    It sounds like she is reading a story book. It's odd. 

     The reference to babies not being a responsibility is weird too. 

    This is what I thought too.  Its taking everything in my Duggar loving body to say that, but its just strange.  

    I guess I feel like I'm intruding on an intimate moment or something.   

    I think M.D. is responding to the criticism they're receiving for having so many children.  I say good for her for not taking it lying down.  I have so much respect for the Duggars.  Those children are well cared for and loved...that's more than some people can say when they only have one child.

    I don't think there was another way around having this m/c becoming so public given their show.  With that in mind, I think it's completely appropriate to let the public see your grief and feel it with you.  They don't want to let this child be forgotten or swept under the rug.

     

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  • I can't bring myself to listen to it, but without hearing the context for the reference to babies not being a responsibility, I wonder if she was conveying that they're a blessing, a privilege, etc, to focus on the positive aspects of parenthood.

    I do think the Duggars in are in a damned if they do, damned if they don't situation.  If they don't have any public display of grief, people would construe that as them having so many children they don't care, and if they do, people think they're AWs.  The bottom line is that these people just lost a baby, so I have empathy for them, regardless of the publicity and whatever goes along with that.

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • So, why wasn't their show called 20 and counting before this pregnancy?  What about that 1st miscarriage?  Oh, wait, that occurred before fame so it doesn't count.

    I cannot roll my eyes hard enough at children never affecting your career (true if your careering is pimping your children to tv) and are not a responsibility (also true if you use your older children to raise the younger ones) and aren't a financial burden (see point one, also, see the free house tlc gave you).

    I really didn't have a problem with the funeral, but this thing encapsulates so much of what bothers me of this family and their fame whoring ways.  I also don't have a problem in general with people choosing their own best way to grieve even if it strikes me as oddly public, but nothing about this family comes across as genuine so I find it difficult to think this is an expression of grief rather than an expression of their anti-choice agenda. 

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  • Its a little odd to me that she's posting this so publicly, but then again their life is an open book.  Everyone deals with m/c differently, and there is often a need...especially with later losses, to not have the baby be forgotten.  Being so public with a pregnancy loss isn't anything I'd do, but I can understand why they might.  Honestly, in a way I kind of applaud them for greiving so publicly.  When you're going through a m/c it can feel very lonely, with them being so well known, perhaps others will benefit in knowing they aren't alone.

    What I'm amazed by is that in 21 pregnancies she's only had 2 losses.  Statistics are about 1/4.

    BFP#1 11.9.10 (EDD 7.15.11) M/C 11.13.10 @5W1D
    BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11 due to Pre-E
    BFP#3 10.2.12 (EDD 6.12.13) MMC 11.24.12 @11.5w, had passed in 7th week
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