I swear, reading other people's situations on here in some way can be comforting because I realize that I?m not alone in dealing with in-law issues.
I will start by saying that my in-laws are nice people, but.......sometimes, it's just really frustrating to listen to them/deal with them. They are old and very set in their ways, old school eastern european who came to the US when their country was still communist, so I keep having to remind myself this any time they say or do something that irks me. My husband catches the brunt of it more, and I really feel bad for him sometimes for that, but I stay out of it because that's for him to deal with. Even when my in-laws have tried involving me or tried to get me to take their side when they are pushing my husband into doing what they want him to do, I've straight up told them that I support my husband no matter what so don't put me in the middle of anything. Period. They are how they are - they aren't going to change. Even my husband acknowledges this, so pretty much we just listen to their unsolicited advice when we see them, let it go in one ear and out the other then do what we want anyway. We laugh about it and just chalk it up to them being old. It sucks though because they can get pretty intense and it can be semi-stressful to the point where when they start, I now excuse myself from the room. I am actually fortunate in the fact that they are not mean to me, just a bit overbearing.
So, my husband and I have been actively on the market to buy a house. Of course, both our parents know about our quest to find a suitable house - obviously if they ask how we are and what's new with us, we tell them what we are up to like normal conversation. But the difference between my parents and his, is while my parents have given valuable advice and ONLY when we've asked for it - things like what to look out for when we tour houses and whatnot (my dad is a contractor and knows about this stuff) - his parents hand me real estate magazines with 'suitable housing' circled. Some might see that as harmless, but it's all stuff that we are completely not interested in. We both have told them repeatedly things like 'we do not want to live in a coop. we do not want a semi-detached home. we do not want to live in this/that neighborhood.' We do not ask for this, btw. It just gets handed to us. At this point, I just smile, nod, take the magazine from them, then file 'g' for garbage after we leave. The one I got yesterday for Christmas went right into the recycling bin. We have very specific wants/needs - and really, those wants/needs are not even anything outrageous or out of the ordinary. Regardless - this is our life, our big decision and purchase for our future. So if I want to 'waste money' on a house with a yard, I?m going to do it. I want my future children to have a yard to play in, not some concrete slab that my in-laws consider a yard.
Oh yea, they offered money to 'help' us - dangling it in front of us like a carrot - so we can afford something
'better' than what we've been looking at too, but for them 'better' = 'right
around the corner' from them....in a coop. We know what we can reasonably afford, and we've found plenty of single
family homes that fit our criteria - just have to go see them in person
and find the one that 'clicks'. I would like to know what planet my in laws live on where they think that buying a coop for the same exact price as a single family home that is in a much better neighborhood is a better investment? lol I told my husband last night that I do not want to take money from them because we all know that with anything in life money = strings.
So yea, I?m not asking for or looking for advice, because I've gotten plenty from here by reading other threads and seeing how other people have dealt with sticky in law situations. I just needed to vent more or less.
Thanks in advance for reading and hope you are all enjoying the holidays