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in law drama-what else is new?

so, we have a 60th bday for my dh uncle coming up and my 2 SILs wll be there....ugh.....they always have petty, annoying comments about how I "stole" their brother, etc,....how do I responf, or should I do my best to stear clear of them that evening? This is a constant issue, and I am just wanting to not ket it bother me ( the comments and their DRAMA).... they are ridiculous! I could go on and on with examples, but basically their life is a soap opera and Im over it.

Re: in law drama-what else is new?

  • This is a pretty advanced move, but the next time one of them says something inapporpriate like you "stole" their brother  ... try the direct look-in-the-eye move while saying nothing maneuver.  It takes nerves of steel to be completely present ... to maintain eye contact ... and to keep silent.  But it is POWERFUL.  And completly unquotable and blame-free.  It will completely unnerve her, too.
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • I'd be tempted to say "Gee, DH, doesn't it bother you to know that your sisters think you're a spineless little jellyfish who is too stupid to make his own decisions?"

    Or,

    "Stole him from whom, exactly? You? I didn't realize you two were sexually attracted to your brother. That's really very disturbing. Have you always had incestuous thought about him?"

    And speaking of DH, what is his reaction to all of this?

    fiizzlee = vag ** fiizzle = peen ** Babies shouldn't be born wit thangs ** **They're called first luddz fo' a reason -- mo' is supposed ta come after. Yo Ass don't git a medal fo' marryin yo' prom date. Unless yo ass is imoan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Then yo ass git a all-expenses paid cruise ta tha Mediterranean n' yo ass git ta hook up Jared Padalecki on tha flight over while bustin yo' jammies. But still no medal.
  • I was going to advise something like what zitiqueen said but she said it MUCH better!
    [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/rkd75g.jpg[/IMG][IMG]http://i41.tinypic.com/23r1e34.jpg[/IMG]
  • image zitiqueen:

    I'd be tempted to say "Gee, DH, doesn't it bother you to know that your sisters think you're a spineless little jellyfish who is too stupid to make his own decisions?"

    Or,

    "Stole him from whom, exactly? You? I didn't realize you two were sexually attracted to your brother. That's really very disturbing. Have you always had incestuous thought about him?"

    I'd be tempted to say, "Has anyone seen my H's pair? They seem to be missing." I'd pause and then say to them, "How about it, ladies? Care to cough up?"

     

     

  • that's it? they make comments about how you stole their brother?

    wow...i dont know how you take it. i hope you are going to counseling for it.

  • I agree w/ sugarmag.... So what.  You are totally overreacting.
  • image livinitup:
    This is a pretty advanced move, but the next time one of them says something inapporpriate like you "stole" their brother  ... try the direct look-in-the-eye move while saying nothing maneuver.  It takes nerves of steel to be completely present ... to maintain eye contact ... and to keep silent.  But it is POWERFUL.  And completly unquotable and blame-free.  It will completely unnerve her, too.

    Great advice!  I've used this tactic when people start making comments about why I don't want kids.  It totally works and has the added bonus of making the annoying family members a little fearful of you! 

  • I too do wonder where your DH is on this....
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • The silent stare is very good and will pay dividends - you won't have to do it that often because the sisters will know that "the stare" is the only reaction they will get out of you.

    Another option: reply "if you want to talk to dh, he's in the kitchen helping Aunt Betty."  (ie: act like they are upset that they are not speaking with brother RIGHT THIS MINUTE rather than in general).  You can use this for "fl4lovers STOLE our brother..." or "we never see brother anymore..." "brother never has time for us anymore....." etc. 

    Whatever you do, don't justify yourself or play into their drama. 

  • I agree.  I think your overreacting.

    What if you go to this party and say something and it starts more drama.  You've just ruined someone's 60th anniversary party.  Really now.  Let them feel that way.  If it's not affecting your marriage just ignore it

  • Another response-  look at them and say w/ no emotion "Sorry you feel that way" and calmly walk off.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • Much as I like Zitiqueen's approach and that that was my first thought as well, you gotta live with this people.

    Propbaby the best approach IRL is to smile sweetly and say:

     

    Yes, and I intend to keep him.

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