Sex & Romance
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Same thing every time

We never switch it up. I try to bring up something new and we talk about it and then it never happens. I feel like we are just doing the same thing every single time. I know sex isn't supposed to be perfect every time but it's seriously just feeling like we're i'm in a rut. It's been 3 years that we've been together and I just need some ideas on how to switch it up and make our sex life more exciting. I'm not a very aggressive person in the bedroom usually but I feel like maybe in this case I should be. I just don't know how to. HELP!

Re: Same thing every time

  • Talk to me about the phrase "perfect every time".   What exactly does that mean to you.  That really sticks out to me.  

    So right now you are doing x, then y and then you finish with z.  Are you both having orgasms?  What would happen if when he went to get into the usual position, you said "No honey, I want to do *this* first" pushed him over and assumed a different position?

    Location, location, location.  Scout for deals on hotel rooms in your area.  Everyone likes to have sex in a different environment.  Plan a fun Friday night getaway - pack a picnic sex dinner if you can't afford a dinner out.

    Or you could have a discussion about your sex life in a location AWAY from the bedroom when there are no other distractions.  Tell him how much you love him.  Tell him how much you enjoy having sex with him.  Tell him that you want to make sure that you guys stay out of a sex rut.  Tell him that you really loved some of the crazier things he has done in the past -- give him concrete examples (like that crazy night on vacation, or that night you had sex on the balcony on that hotel, or when you got kind of freaky 6 months ago).  Tell him how amazing he was and how great he made you feel.  Frame everything in positive terms - nothing negative.  NO ONE WANTS TO THINK THEY ARE A BAD LOVER.

  • I'd just pull out my aggressive side if I was you. Go up to him and tell him what to do. "take off your clothes, sit down" then straddle him...(if that's a position you want to try), when he starts trying to take over grab his hands and tell him no, let him know that "today I'm in charge"

    1- he'll love you being so assertive

    2- you'll show him that you want to change things up a bit. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageLilBlkDress1:

    I'd just pull out my aggressive side if I was you. Go up to him and tell him what to do. "take off your clothes, sit down" then straddle him...(if that's a position you want to try), when he starts trying to take over grab his hands and tell him no, let him know that "today I'm in charge"

    1- he'll love you being so assertive

    2- you'll show him that you want to change things up a bit. 

    Less talking, more doing.  That will change things up.

     

     

    Anniversary
  • after we had our second child DH always wanted to have sex in the same damn position that we had gotten used to during my pregnancy. one night we were driving home from a friends house the kids were sleeping in the back seat and DH was quite drunk and i told him that i was tired of having the same boring sex and i wasn't a *** china doll that i liked to be on top or perhaps on my hands and knees and that i would like it if he roughed it up a bit i told him explicitly that i liked being bit having my hair pulled and that i was just childish enough to still like sporting the occasional hickey while we were driving i detailed all the things that I like in bed and since then i have noticed an improvement
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