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Vent (maybe more of a whine)

DH got a text message (not from NCOIC) at 8 pm Sunday night informing him that his NCOIC decided that he wanted the night shift, so DH is going to be on days for the holidays. Seems weird to complain about this, I'm sure, but I LOVE when C is on nights: he's home during the day, gets a lot more time with S and I get baby-free time to do stuff around the house. This go around I've been delaying sleep training with S so that the lack of sleep from having C help with it didn't affect C's performance at work.

I'm really annoyed that his NCOIC not only took the night shift (especially since he's had the night shift for the past 2-3 months) but did so without talking to C about it, and never even bothered to tell C, C found out less than 12 hrs before the morning shift started (after spending the holiday weekend getting his sleep schedule ready for night shift) because someone else in the shop had a question about something else.

I'm also annoyed because I cannot wait any longer to do the sleep training (I've not gotten more than 90 mins of uninterrupted sleep in almost 8 months), and now my options are to do it on my own, letting C get his sleep, or to have C help me anyways, and know that he will be getting flack from NCOIC and his other coworkers for being tired and sluggish at work for a week or two. They already give him so much flack for not being into sports, for not joining in when the horseplay and goof off at work and basically just for not fitting in with them, and I hate to do anything that opens him up to anymore criticism.

/sigh

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Re: Vent (maybe more of a whine)

  • That is a bit annoying.

    However, from someone who has 4 kids, I don't understand why your child isn't sleeping for at least a good 4-5 hours straight at 7 months old.  You don't need sleep training.  You do a bath time routine, but him in the bed and walk away.  He'll go to sleep.  He may fuss a bit, but he'll go to sleep.  You don't need help with it.  Yes, help is nice, but it isn't the end of the world. 

    Sorry for the straight talk, but I don't see what the issue is and I don't understand how you are only getting 90min at a time of sleep. 

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  • RHIP, sucky, but true.

    I know nothing of baby sleep, but I'm sorry you're having a sucky day. 

    I've seen a lot of military surprise homecomings. It wouldn't work on me. I always have my back to the corner and my face to the door. Looking for terrorists, criminals, various other threats, and husbands.
  • I don't want this to sound like a pile-on, but having a kid is no excuse to be sluggish at work, and sometimes life as an Airman isn't fair.  NCOICs should put their Airman first, but for all we know, there's something going on that requires that NCOIC to be free during the day. 

    As far as not fitting in, we've all been there.  Joe's first few months here were really rough, but some random weekend, he told everyone he was having a party at our house.  I was out to dinner with my coworker, assuming nobody would show up to hang out with Joe, but when I got home, there were like 17 people in my kitchen.  He really had to go out on a limb, but it paid off.  He's got more social activities lined up than a 15 year old girl.

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • image iluvmytxrgr:

    That is a bit annoying.

    However, from someone who has 4 kids, I don't understand why your child isn't sleeping for at least a good 4-5 hours straight at 7 months old.  You don't need sleep training.  You do a bath time routine, but him in the bed and walk away.  He'll go to sleep.  He may fuss a bit, but he'll go to sleep.  You don't need help with it.  Yes, help is nice, but it isn't the end of the world. 

    Sorry for the straight talk, but I don't see what the issue is and I don't understand how you are only getting 90min at a time of sleep. 

    I don't know what the probelm is either. We do bath, bed, and he'll go to sleep just fine, but he doesn't stay asleep, and he'll cry in his crib until someone comes to him, and will continue to cry until he gets picked up. And not just a few minutes, but for 30 mins or more, and he'll make himself sick. It's very stressful for me, and I was hoping to have C available to take turns with me as we try to get it figured out.If you have any ideas or suggestions, I'd be grateful, as the pedi has not been much help either.

    Ojo, you're right, having kids is no excuse, I'm just being whiny. I'll just assume the NCOIC had a valid reason for the schedule change, and encourage C to request that next time he be told when the decision is first made, not 5 days later.

    I wish C's shop had been as welcoming as Joe's. We've been here for almost 2 years, and every invite he/we has issued to be social has been declined, and he is consistently excluded from the shop's non-official social get togethers, and is voluntold almost every week to man the shop while the others go to lunch. It's hard on both of us, and makes it easy to feel like he's being singled out and picked on.

     

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  • image StarJay:
    image iluvmytxrgr:

    That is a bit annoying.

    However, from someone who has 4 kids, I don't understand why your child isn't sleeping for at least a good 4-5 hours straight at 7 months old.  You don't need sleep training.  You do a bath time routine, but him in the bed and walk away.  He'll go to sleep.  He may fuss a bit, but he'll go to sleep.  You don't need help with it.  Yes, help is nice, but it isn't the end of the world. 

    Sorry for the straight talk, but I don't see what the issue is and I don't understand how you are only getting 90min at a time of sleep. 

    I don't know what the probelm is either. We do bath, bed, and he'll go to sleep just fine, but he doesn't stay asleep, and he'll cry in his crib until someone comes to him, and will continue to cry until he gets picked up. And not just a few minutes, but for 30 mins or more, and he'll make himself sick. It's very stressful for me, and I was hoping to have C available to take turns with me as we try to get it figured out.If you have any ideas or suggestions, I'd be grateful, as the pedi has not been much help either.

    Ojo, you're right, having kids is no excuse, I'm just being whiny. I'll just assume the NCOIC had a valid reason for the schedule change, and encourage C to request that next time he be told when the decision is first made, not 5 days later.

    I wish C's shop had been as welcoming as Joe's. We've been here for almost 2 years, and every invite he/we has issued to be social has been declined, and he is consistently excluded from the shop's non-official social get togethers, and is voluntold almost every week to man the shop while the others go to lunch. It's hard on both of us, and makes it easy to feel like he's being singled out and picked on.

     

    This is part of the  problem.  He knows you will come pick him up.  It may take a few nights, but if you follow my instructions things will start to go smoother.  Play time (wear him out), dinner, bath and a story.  Then rock him for a minute and put him in the bed.  Leave him a night light.  Turn his light off, walk out and shut the door.  He's going to cry for a bit.  If he cries for 15 min, go in, lay him down, rub his back for a few minutes and then leave again.  Do not pick him up. Keep doing this until he is asleep.  You might also try putting him down a little later in the evening. 

    For the first few nights, it will seem like a battle.  After a few nights, the number of times you go in will be fewer and fewer.  When he wakes up in the middle of the night, change him, make sure he isn't hungry and then repeat with putting him in the bed.  Rub his back for a minute and then walk out.  He'll start to get the picture. 

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  • image StarJay:
          he is consistently excluded from the shop's non-official social get togethers, and is voluntold almost every week to man the shop while the others go to lunch. It's hard on both of us, and makes it easy to feel like he's being singled out and picked on.

    Is the NCOIC also his supervisor?  Is C comfortable discussing this during his feedback?  That's really disappointing. 

    We have a rotational schedule (that includes officers) for who gets to man the front desk in the event of an office function.  For normal duty days, we have a weekly enlisted rotation, so when the front desk person goes to lunch/errands/bathroom, the enlisted of the week goes to cover, no questions asked.  It is what it is, so nobody questions it or complains.  Perhaps if something similar would work in C's shop, he could suggest it to his super/NCOIC/shop chief.

    Twin boys due 7/25/12
  • image MrsOjoButtons:
    image StarJay:
          he is consistently excluded from the shop's non-official social get togethers, and is voluntold almost every week to man the shop while the others go to lunch. It's hard on both of us, and makes it easy to feel like he's being singled out and picked on.

    Is the NCOIC also his supervisor?  Is C comfortable discussing this during his feedback?  That's really disappointing. 

    We have a rotational schedule (that includes officers) for who gets to man the front desk in the event of an office function.  For normal duty days, we have a weekly enlisted rotation, so when the front desk person goes to lunch/errands/bathroom, the enlisted of the week goes to cover, no questions asked.  It is what it is, so nobody questions it or complains.  Perhaps if something similar would work in C's shop, he could suggest it to his super/NCOIC/shop chief.

    The NCOIC is not his supervisor, the 2NCOIC is. The last time C attempted to discuss this (among other issues) with both the NCOIC and his supe, he was told to "suck it up and be a team player" and that if he "weren't such a nerd all the time" the other guys would enjoy his company, so he is no longer comfortable discussing much with his supe or NCOIC anymore. 

    As for the rotating schedule, such a suggestion might work. My confusion comes from the fact that most days, the shop is left unattended during lunch hour, as the students are at the mess hall. What the difference is on the days the shop does a lunch in town instead of all going home, and it's never a planned thing. C doesn't know about it in advance and ends up calling me to bring him lunch b/c he didn't know he was going to be expected to work through lunch.

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  • image iluvmytxrgr:

    This is part of the  problem.  He knows you will come pick him up.  It may take a few nights, but if you follow my instructions things will start to go smoother.  Play time (wear him out), dinner, bath and a story.  Then rock him for a minute and put him in the bed.  Leave him a night light.  Turn his light off, walk out and shut the door.  He's going to cry for a bit.  If he cries for 15 min, go in, lay him down, rub his back for a few minutes and then leave again.  Do not pick him up. Keep doing this until he is asleep.  You might also try putting him down a little later in the evening. 

    For the first few nights, it will seem like a battle.  After a few nights, the number of times you go in will be fewer and fewer.  When he wakes up in the middle of the night, change him, make sure he isn't hungry and then repeat with putting him in the bed.  Rub his back for a minute and then walk out.  He'll start to get the picture. 

    I was hoping to avoid having him cry it out. But you might be right, it might be necessary, if not for his sake, for mine.

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    Making our dreams come true, one day at a time.
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