I know this sounds horrible, but I need to vent and welcome advice.
BG: My aunt has a severely (Sorry, this isn't PC) retarded 20 something boy. He is a big boy weighing in at over 200 lbs and over 6 ft tall. He is violent by nature, unpredictable, and my aunt is never fully in control of him. She's very sensitive and wants him to be included in EVERYTHING and grandma doesn't want to be put in the middle. /BG
So this past Thanksgiving the family got together, and again the entire family was left feeling awkward when he was present. I will admit that we as the family are not comfortable around him.
I with support from the family brought up to Grandma (not in front of aunt) that we are all uncomfortable and we feel that it's ruining our time together because we have to 'dance on egg shells. Grandma's response is she knows and doesn't know what to do because aunt is sensitive.
The family has been ignoring the issue for the last 20 years, but it's hard to enjoy the holidays. Even aunt's other child has expressed interest in having a 'brother free' holiday. So for those keeping score at home only aunt want's him there, which is understandable.
Why am I making this an issue you ask? DH and I are TTC and are hoping to have a baby by next Christmas. DH and I do not feel comfortable at the thought of him being around a PG me or around a newborn. I told Grandma that if he's there, we will not be. To which has caused the family to jump on the bandwagon of "well if she's not there, we won't be there either."