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Am I heartless?

I don't think I can handle the bump.  This just got posted on my month board:

http://community.thebump.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/58568165.aspx

This is because some girl posted that she wasn't reading the miscarriage posts because they're too scary.

Really?  I'm sorry that you miscarried.  I know it happens a lot.  I don't want to read about it, because it makes me worry more.  Yes, I do care more about my own pregnancy than I do about the pregnancies of internet strangers. Call me crazy.

image
Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
www.focushunting.com

Re: Am I heartless?

  • Nope, I agree. Also, one in four? That sounds like she completely pulled it from her ass. I'd like to see something to back that up.
  • I was just focusing on what good percentages we have here on RE since I don't think anywhere near 50% of the pregnancies have ended in loss. You would think it would be worse considering how evil we are.
  • jehawley on ML got flamed to high heaven for essentially saying the same thing as you on her month board. I totally agree with you both, I can see how that would make it even more nervewracking.

    Sensitive sallies, all of 'em.

    image
    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • I was just thinking the same thing! I understood what the original poster was saying how it makes her worry and it got so blown up!
  • image wingedbride:
    I was just focusing on what good percentages we have here on RE since I don't think anywhere near 50% of the pregnancies have ended in loss. You would think it would be worse considering how evil we are.

    Unless they were just super early and the person in question wasn't temping or anything, right? I assume that's why the number is so high?

    (You know I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'm counting down the minutes until I can leave and go to the bar.)

    image
    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • Was the person just saying she doesn't read m/c posts, or saying that people shouldn't announce that they've had a m/c?  I don't see the big deal about the former, but the latter would be annoying (as is the giant "Miscarriages Happen" treatise).
    image
  • I think OP needs to step away from The Bump.  I had a m/c and if I get pregnant again I probably won't read the m/c posts.  It would just add extra stress and bring up that pain again that is not good for me or my fetus.  I also hate when other people make generalizations.  I don't feel that way, so using the every woman who has experienced a pregnancy loss bothers me.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • She DD'd the post so I can't tell you exactly what she said, but I remember it as "Wow, there are so many miscarriage posts.  It's so sad.  I've stopped opening them because it scares me".
    image
    Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
    www.focushunting.com
  • image HappyTummy613:
    Was the person just saying she doesn't read m/c posts, or saying that people shouldn't announce that they've had a m/c?  I don't see the big deal about the former, but the latter would be annoying (as is the giant "Miscarriages Happen" treatise).

    She was just saying that she is nervous about her pregnancy and reading about other m/cs makes her even more nervous.  She didn't say anything about people not posting about m/cs.

     

    ETA: to make sense

  • image BobLoblaw:

    image wingedbride:
    I was just focusing on what good percentages we have here on RE since I don't think anywhere near 50% of the pregnancies have ended in loss. You would think it would be worse considering how evil we are.

    Unless they were just super early and the person in question wasn't temping or anything, right? I assume that's why the number is so high?

    (You know I have no idea what I'm talking about, but I'm counting down the minutes until I can leave and go to the bar.)

    She clearly made up the 50% part, since if it happens prior to a positive HPT, there's NO WAY TO KNOW if it ever existed or not.
  • Wait, did someone post asking people to stop talking about their miscarriages, or did they just say they skipped over the posts?

    Either way I think that reaction is about 10 paragraphs too long, but at least people on your board speak up. January moms are so goddamn afraid of offending each other that none of them have opinions on anything. 

  • I don't have a position on this fight.  On one hand, reading about miscarriages isn't going to make you miscarry and you can't stop a miscarriage from happening.  And it is kind of douchey to wail about how someone else's miscarriage stresses you out.  But on the other hand, I can understand the worry you would feel.  I don't like opening depressing posts. 

    So basically, I don't care either way.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • I cannot handle reading stories about accidents and small children. It makes me a weepy, sobby mess, so I understand avoiding the posts and not wanting to read them. That being said, I would never tell someone that went through it "Oh I can't read that because it makes me think about something happening to my own kid". I just wouldn't read it and wouldn't say anything about it.
    image
  • What really annoys me is that she made up those numbers and nobody called her out on it.

    14 percent of pregnancies end in the baby eating its way out from the inside.

    image 


    image
    we all fall down sometimes
    brass and ballet flats
  • 76% of all people reading that thread will suffer strain injuries from repeated eye rolling. 1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    Scared?

    We all are.

  • image EssBe:

    What really annoys me is that she made up those numbers and nobody called her out on it.

    14 percent of pregnancies end in the baby eating its way out from the inside.

    image 

    Thank you. I just can't get past this, clearly. I agree with Buddha, that I probably wouldn't say it to someone who just had a miscarriage, but I would avoid those posts and I'd bet a lot of people do.
  • SB -- you're only counting the 14% that do it when their parents are looking.  There's another 37% that do it when no one's around.

    If you "miscarry" before your period was even set to show up, I don't count that as ever having been pregnant.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • image CaliopeSpidrman:

    SB -- you're only counting the 14% that do it when their parents are looking.  There's another 37% that do it when no one's around.

    If you "miscarry" before your period was even set to show up, I don't count that as ever having been pregnant.

    I don't see how it could be. There's no way to even know you're pregnant. 

    image
  • My doctor told me the 1 in 4 number, but the 50% one sounds totally made up.
  • the bump had me convinced that I'd be miscarrying my first...just because it seems more rare not to!

    it's nerve wracking to be pg. 

    I don't think I have seen a sweeter boxer face in all my life, as the one in your sig. omg.

    I don't want to kiss dogs, but I would smooch yours on the top of it's pretty head.

    Tarnation!

    [url=http://www.myfitnesspal.com/weight-loss-ticker][img]http://tickers.myfitnesspal.com/ticker/show/963/5279/9635279.png[/img][/url]
    Created by MyFitnessPal.com - [url=http://www.myfitnesspal.com]Free Calorie Counter[/url]
  • image EdithBouvierBeale:

    I don't think I have seen a sweeter boxer face in all my life, as the one in your sig. omg.

    I don't want to kiss dogs, but I would smooch yours on the top of it's pretty head.

    I'm trying to stay mad at you for your mucus plug description, but this is breaking me.  I'm a sucker for people who compliment my pups.

    image
    Baby Boxer is coming! 5.23.12
    www.focushunting.com
  • image TheDuckis:
    My doctor told me the 1 in 4 number, but the 50% one sounds totally made up.
    I might believe 1 in 4 if it included all of those chemical pregnancies, but 1 in 4 pregnancies that are "confirmed by a doctor"?? Most OBs won't even see you until roughly 8 weeks, at which time the percentage has to be much lower.
  • image jens_a_ten:

    1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    So, I've got 3 of you covered?

  • image CaptainSerious:
    image jens_a_ten:

    1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    So, I've got 3 of you covered?

    Ha!  Good show, Cap'n!

    image
  • image CaptainSerious:
    image jens_a_ten:

    1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    So, I've got 3 of you covered?

    This and your lighthearted response in Groomz's dong post make me think someone replaced our usual CaptainSerious with Folgers Crystals.

    image
    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
  • image HappyTummy613:
    image CaptainSerious:
    image jens_a_ten:

    1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    So, I've got 3 of you covered?

    Ha!  Good show, Cap'n!

    HA! 10 points for self awareness. :)

  • image CaliopeSpidrman:
    image CaptainSerious:
    image jens_a_ten:

    1 in 4 women will take the internet too seriously, and as a result will endure mockery and shame.

    So, I've got 3 of you covered?

    This and your lighthearted response in Groomz's dong post make me think someone replaced our usual CaptainSerious with Folgers Crystals.

    What can I say?  I'm in a better mood today.

  • image buddhagouda:
    I cannot handle reading stories about accidents and small children. It makes me a weepy, sobby mess, so I understand avoiding the posts and not wanting to read them. That being said, I would never tell someone that went through it "Oh I can't read that because it makes me think about something happening to my own kid". I just wouldn't read it and wouldn't say anything about it.
    This. I avoid any and all stories related to small child tragedy. It's too much for me to handle. So I totally understand her pov. That said, I don't necessarily understand her need to point it out. Why not just avoid the miscarriage posts without making a big deal about it?
    image Mabel the Loser.
  • image WendyToo:
    image TheDuckis:
    My doctor told me the 1 in 4 number, but the 50% one sounds totally made up.
    I might believe 1 in 4 if it included all of those chemical pregnancies, but 1 in 4 pregnancies that are "confirmed by a doctor"?? Most OBs won't even see you until roughly 8 weeks, at which time the percentage has to be much lower.

    I think she said before the heartbeat is confirmed risk is 1/4. My first appointment was only at 5 weeks, and we saw the fetal pole but no heartbeat. So she had to tell me I had a 25% chance of loss. But she said once the heartbeat is confirmed the risk goes down to something like 1%.

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