September 2010 Weddings
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Play time

http://news.yahoo.com/less-play-time-more-troubled-kids-experts-130405506.html

This article is saying that kids today are getting less free play time, and that they are becoming narcissistic and psychologically fragile. WDYT? 

Me: 26 DH: 32
TTC since 08/2010
Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
Dx PCOS 3/2012
SA 5/25/12--normal
June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI

Re: Play time

  • Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • I definitly agree! Kids still need to be kids. They need to be able to use their imagination and not have a care in the world. My daughter is so much happier and well mannered when she gets outside time at school.
  • I agree, but do you let her run around the neighborhood unsupervised? Because it sounds like that is what the writer is advocating, and I have a hard time with that. Maybe if you live in a great, safe neighborhood, but I know that we don't and all the kids playing in the street by my house are punks. I don't want my hypothetical future children learning how to behave in social situations from the idiots that live down the street from me.

    Kids play differently now than they did in the 50's, or even in the 80's and early 90's. I played outside, but I had to figure out for myself which kids were mean or bad, and I wish that my parents had protected me from those kids in the first place. Maybe if they had, I wouldn't have been kicked off the bus when I was in kindergarten because I punched a girl in the stomach for making fun of my little brother.

    After we moved to a better neighborhood, playing outside with the neighbors was fine. I just know that there are a lot of families living in neighborhoods that aren't safe. There's a balance between hovering, protection, and ignorance. Pretending there aren't teenagers smoking weed in my neighborhood won't make them go away, and it won't make it okay for my 10 year old to play near them, with other kids who know them and hang out with them.

    Me: 26 DH: 32
    TTC since 08/2010
    Anovulatory since at least 12/2010 (probably longer, unDx)
    Dx PCOS 3/2012
    SA 5/25/12--normal
    June 2012--50mg clomid+TI--BFN
    July 2012--50mg clomid+Ovidrel+TI--BFN, lining at 5mm
    August 2012--5mg femara+Ovidrel+TI
  • At my moms (farm) she gets to pretty much do what she wants. She knows where she can and cannot go. As far as letting her even in our backyard alone...no. We used to ride our bikes all over town unsupervised and no problem. We have some creepers in our little townhouse community though that she knows about and I don't trust them. I don't think its our kids we have to watch our for, it's everybody else.
  • I don't have kids yet so I can't say this is for sure what I'll do, but (and this only counts if we're still living where we're at now and it continues to be a safe neighborhood), I'll let my kids go out and play. Granted there will be rules (can only go so far, no playing in the road, etc) and as long as I know the other parents. When I get home after work, there are TONS of kids all playing together either in the front yard or back yard and it's wonderful to see.

    Now, I do think this article raises a good point in that kids are getting less and less free time. I know my neighborhood is rare because I never see kids out playing anymore (in other areas). I can also see a difference in my kids at the schools. They only talk about watching tv or playing video games and they don't know how to handle social situations anymore. There's definitely more aggression in the kids too.

    [url=http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=UBB&utm_campaign=tickers][img]http://global.thenest.com/tickers/ttb3b0e.aspx[/img][/url]
  • I'm not a parent yet, so I will acknowledge I may feel differently when I actually have a child (although, I hope I don't).  But I completely agree with the author. 

    A lot of what we need as adults is learned thru play in childhood.  If today's kids are taught to fear everyone and mom/dad make every decision, how will they ever be able to trust themselves?  If your parents had kept you from the bad kids, how would you have learned to differentiate between trustworthy people and non?

    I actually follow a blog called "Free-Range Kids" and they talk a lot about this stuff.  Kids today are totally wrapped in cotton wool and protected from everything.  College administrators refer to incoming freshmen with 'helicopter' parents as 'teacups' because they're fragile and can't deal with the real world or failure. 

    I think it's more important to teach my children right and wrong and to think for themselves.  I think in the long run, that's better for them (and me). And that's not the same as letting them run around with no idea where they are or who their friends are.

    My deal is that I am going to murder your puppies and piss on your rainbows. -diablesse Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • as a soon to be mom, but also a former daycare/preschool teacher, I completely agree that kids need more play time.  When I taught, my co-teacher was on the same page as me. (parents must have liked what they saw b/c we always had a waiting list for our room.)  I like to let kids work things out for themselves for the most part.  Let them try things to learn who they are.

    When it comes to neighborhoods I'm a little more cautious.  I grew up in a small town (800 people) with only 2 roads leading in or out of it.  I would leave and knew when to check in or to be home for dinner.  if something happened, people knew about it right away.  Granted, my step dad was on the volunteer fire department so that also added to it.  I mean, that was like having an additional 30-40 father/mother figures.  There were times when my mom would know about things (where i was/who i was with) before I even got home.

    I think there is a lot more to be cautious of lately.  I still live in a fairly small town (8,000, but much larger than I grew up in!!).  Even so, there are a couple areas that are known to be the "bad" areas with lower income and more drug/gang activity. 

    If I lived in a small town like the one i grew up in, I think I would be ok letting my kid (obviuosly at the appropriate age) head out and come home at a given time.  In my town now, I'm not ok with that.  I see the kids in my immediate neighborhood going from house to house, running around and playing.  That is acceptable, but our neighborhood also is fairly close and people are friendly, etc.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image moleson99:

    When it comes to neighborhoods I'm a little more cautious.  I grew up in a small town (800 people) with only 2 roads leading in or out of it.  I would leave and knew when to check in or to be home for dinner.  if something happened, people knew about it right away.  Granted, my step dad was on the volunteer fire department so that also added to it.  I mean, that was like having an additional 30-40 father/mother figures.  There were times when my mom would know about things (where i was/who i was with) before I even got home.

    Sounds like the way I grew up.  Dad worked for the borough and was a fireman - nothing happened that he didn't know/hear about.  No point in lying cuz you'd get caught.

    DH grew up in the town we live in and back then it was "Be home when the streetlights come on."  I like to think Baby Q will be able to grow up the same way, but living across the street from a park where we used to see drug deals go down (hmm...a Lincoln parked with the trunk open...what do I think you're doing??) I'm not so sure.

    Without a doubt kids need time to play without it being structured.  How else do they learn to work out their own problems?  If you're always around adults who are hearing tattlers and intervening, they never learn things like coping, negotiating, fair play.  Basically just learning how to be good citizens.

    I agree with the free-range kids movement to a degree, but I also think it's what you're comfortable with.  The writer of that blog let her (6? 8?) year old son ride the NYC subway by himself.  If I grew up in NYC I might feel differently but not being from there my thought is 'hell to the no!'

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. PersonalMilestone
  • I didn't get to read the article, but I can tell you I agree that kids need more free time. She's only 5, so we don't let her go far, but we allow Emma to go on our front porch or play on the sidewalk in front of our house (we don't have a yard). We live in a good neighborhood, though. The people next door have a big yard with a swing set and welcome any kid in the neighborhood to just walk in and use it - there are always kids playing together there (Em is still a little too nervous because the kids are bigger, but she wants to go soon!). I would be more cautious if we lived somewhere else.

    I've also noticed that everything is becoming "rounded"...toys, cartoons, books...everything has smooth edges, and in brighter colours. Everything needs to explain how it is educational. Nothing is ever dark, or scary, or realistic looking, or exists just for fun the way that it was when I was little....not that I want anything too intense, just that things have changed. Remember when we were little and they made movies like Home Alone? They would never do that now!

    Sometimes I look at the changes and it's scary. Emma started kindergarten a few weeks ago and at Parent Intro Night the principal informed us that they do get homework and then happily announced that for the first time kindergarteners would be taking pen and paper tests by the end of the year...Huh?

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