Family Matters
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fb question

I ran into an issue and am not sure how to navigate it online.  It was dealt with offline, but I feel like continuing the action online will let this person know how serious we are.

My SIL and I have had problems for years.  They got so bad that we have not spoken, or even really seen each other in over a year.  We were friends on fb and she unfriended me, no problem.  She is mutual friends with one of my husband's friends, which is how he saw this conversation.  She commented on a status of this person saying something about how nice it is that she and her SIL get along and how she doesn't know how she wound up with such a d*#cheb##. (I'm not really sure what's ok to say on these forums but I think you get the picture.)  My husband saw this and immediately called and confronted his sister.  She, as she was still typing more online, told him it was true and he should be ashamed.  He said that he not only wanted their business offline but said she was out of line for putting it there.  

This posting of hers carried on for 4 days more.  She eventually began posting flat out (provable) lies about me, my parents and family.  My husband dealt with everything and in the end they stopped speaking. (SHe unfriended him too)  

My husband reported this whole incident to fb but nothing was ever done.  I brought the printouts of the postings to a friend in law enforcement and they said it was slander and cyber bullying and that I could take her to court, which I have no interest in doing.  Does anyone know if fb will do anything or if we should have reported it differently?  We just want her to know that she crossed a line and am not sure she understands it b/c it still happens.  Sorry this was such a long post. 

Re: fb question

  • BTW... if you think this was enough please let us know too!  TY!
  • Are you all 15 years old?

    You're feeding into her drama and bullshiit, which is exactly what she wants. If you don't give her the reaction that she craves so desperately, then she'll cut the crap.

    People who are your real friends won't be swayed by some drama queen's stupid Facebook posts (and yes, people will know she's a drama queen. Anyone who posts this kind of dirty laundry all over Facebook is pure trash, and everyone worth their salt knows it and hates it). And if they ARE willing to do a 180 and turn against you because of a Facebook post, then you're better off not being friends with them in the first place.

    Just ignore it. Get off Facebook if you're tempted to keep seeing what she's writing. She's probably thrilled to hear that this bugged you enough to print it out and go to the police (seriously, unless she was physically threatening you, WTF did you expect them to do about this?).

    And why the heck did your husband come tattling to you about what she said? He should've told her to cut the shiit, immediately unfriended her and put a stop to all this nonsense. Not tattled back to you and made you feel bad. 

    image
  • Block her.  Block her, and her husband if he is on, too.  That way, she won't be able to see your posts, and you won't be able to see yours.

    You may SAY that you want to know what she is saying about you, but you really don't.  Knowing just feeds into her drama.  She can get into your head via fb even if you "are no longer speaking."

    If you are "not speaking to each other," there is no need for confrontations.

    And I agree with the other poster - people will know she is a drama queen.  Don't feel the need to defend yourself.  Just ignore it and tell people "that's just how SIL is."  You don't need to pretend you are bff's, but it's nobodys business what your relationship is.

    At the same time, reach out to friends and family (including your h's extended family) who like and appreciate you.  You won't have time for your sil's drama and you will be surrounded by people who know you and won't take sil's words.

  • I too had a slightly similar situation on fb with one of my SIL's. PP is right, they are asking for drama and trying to get under your skin on purpose.  My DH and I ignored our SIL's posts and she has altogether stopped everything now. Its been quiet and nice. Just ignore her. Unfriend her and push her out of your life. You really don't want this type of person in your life anyway right? :) 
  • You want FB to investigate and determine that your SIL is lying about you on her posts? And then take some kind of undetermined action against her? Like what? Like a suspension or black mark next to her name? How would FB know if she was lying? Becuase you said so? Should they contact you and your family and do some type of investigation?

    I don't think anything you are hoping for is reasonable or practicle. Or even exists.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image mbcdefg:

    Are you all 15 years old?

    You're feeding into her drama and bullshiit, which is exactly what she wants. If you don't give her the reaction that she craves so desperately, then she'll cut the crap.

    People who are your real friends won't be swayed by some drama queen's stupid Facebook posts (and yes, people will know she's a drama queen. Anyone who posts this kind of dirty laundry all over Facebook is pure trash, and everyone worth their salt knows it and hates it). And if they ARE willing to do a 180 and turn against you because of a Facebook post, then you're better off not being friends with them in the first place.

    Just ignore it. Get off Facebook if you're tempted to keep seeing what she's writing. She's probably thrilled to hear that this bugged you enough to print it out and go to the police (seriously, unless she was physically threatening you, WTF did you expect them to do about this?).

    And why the heck did your husband come tattling to you about what she said? He should've told her to cut the shiit, immediately unfriended her and put a stop to all this nonsense. Not tattled back to you and made you feel bad. 

     i couldnt have said it better myself

    Anniversary
  • image mbcdefg:

    Are you all 15 years old?

    You're feeding into her drama and bullshiit, which is exactly what she wants. If you don't give her the reaction that she craves so desperately, then she'll cut the crap.

    People who are your real friends won't be swayed by some drama queen's stupid Facebook posts (and yes, people will know she's a drama queen. Anyone who posts this kind of dirty laundry all over Facebook is pure trash, and everyone worth their salt knows it and hates it). And if they ARE willing to do a 180 and turn against you because of a Facebook post, then you're better off not being friends with them in the first place.

    Just ignore it. Get off Facebook if you're tempted to keep seeing what she's writing. She's probably thrilled to hear that this bugged you enough to print it out and go to the police (seriously, unless she was physically threatening you, WTF did you expect them to do about this?).

    And why the heck did your husband come tattling to you about what she said? He should've told her to cut the shiit, immediately unfriended her and put a stop to all this nonsense. Not tattled back to you and made you feel bad. 

     i couldnt have said it better myself

    Anniversary
  • for the love of god. stop wasting a cops precious time with your bull$hit. they have real work to do. you're not a 12 year old. block her, both you and dh, and move on.
    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • image alithebride:
    for the love of god. stop wasting a cops precious time with your bull$hit. they have real work to do. you're not a 12 year old. block her, both you and dh, and move on.

    Seriously. I'm amazed that the cop didn't scream, "Turn off the fuckking computer, lady!" when you told him about all this.

    image
  • image mbcdefg:

    image alithebride:
    for the love of god. stop wasting a cops precious time with your bull$hit. they have real work to do. you're not a 12 year old. block her, both you and dh, and move on.

    Seriously. I'm amazed that the cop didn't scream, "Turn off the fuckking computer, lady!" when you told him about all this.

    LOL she should've known to do that herself.

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • I totally feel your pain on this one. Its so hurtful that people can use the internet to post lies and say such awful things. And while I know that you probably want to use legal recourse to make her stop, it's probably not worth the time, energy and money.

    Try and remember that everyone who sees those posts is going to think less of her, not of you. 

     As far as I know there isn't really anything that fb can do, but at least you went through the motions of reporting her -- if she ever posts hate speech of plots a crime online, they'll have a record of your previous complaint to strengthen a case against her. 

     As for everything else. Unfriend her and block her and try to move past it. I know it's easier said that done, but in the end what she posted says nothing about you and a lot about her.

     

    Everything comes out in the wash, right?
  • This post has been edited by a moderator
    to remove the redirecting hyperlink spam

    PLEASE STOP SPAMMING THE BOARDS
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