My MIL has gone crazy and I have no idea how to help her. There's been so many things that she's done that make no sense, I don't know where to start. I'll start with her most recent behavior. In January she got married to a guy she met online. She seemed happy, but I had a feeling it wouldn't work out just because of the way she is. She lived with us for awhile but it didn't work out. I felt guilty and even thought I was too harsh on her but not so much anymore. I think more people would agree with me now because it's more clear that she's not an easy person to get along with. Well, now she's convinced that this man that she married is after her and that his son is going to kill her. She has made several frantic calls to my husband about how someone went through all her paperwork, stole her credit cards, put a gps tracking device on her car and is following her, blocked outgoing calls on her cell phone, reinstated an old insurance policy, pulled out the equity from her house, hacked into her emails, etc. So many more things and the worst part of it all is she can't prove any of it. She insists her husband, his son, as well as their coworkers are all in a conspiracy to steal her identity and possibly kill her (I guess the son bought a gun). You know some of these things I believed, such as someone messing with her personal things and getting a hold of her credit cards. But everyday it has been something new and now I'm convinced that pretty much all of this is in her head. She went as far as accusing her husband of stalking her and giving his photo and his son's to campus security (she's in college). She took out a restraining order on him as well but it was dropped because the judge didn't feel it was necessary. I suppose maybe her husband is a bit controlling and probably was following her to see where the heck she was going if he was worried. I'm not there though, so I don't know. My opinion is that they both have their own definition of what a marriage should be. He may think he has the right to sift through her personal things because they are married. She's used to being independent, living on her own, and going out past 9 p.m. to go to the store (which he's warned her not to do).
I got a call from a detective who called me (my MIL told me in advance he'd be calling to get information about what she's told me) and right off the bat he said he was concerned about my MIL's mental state. He didn't mention much about what she told him. He just said she hired him to look into things but he said that all of it just isn't making any sense. I agreed. He suggested a family member get a mandated court order to force her to get a mental evaluation. I also agreed about that. He ended by saying there's nothing he can do for her and that he will eventually have to tell her she needs help. The problem is we don't live in KY, we live in WA state. All her family is in WI and the reason she ended up in KY is because she followed my husband and I, thinking we'd take care of her. We can't. He is in the military and I tried to explain to her that it wasn't a good idea to move down by us because we'd eventually move and the military wasn't going to pay for her to move with us. She didn't listen and after we left she decided to stay. Bad, bad idea. She has no family in the state of KY, they are all up in WI. But she can do whatever she wants and that was her choice to move down there and stay. Since we don't live in KY, we can't force her to get a court ordered mental evaluation. It has to be a family member living in the state of KY.
Well, since she's paranoid out of her mind she refuses to live with her husband. They constantly fight and the last I heard she bit him. She recently went back up to WI and moved in with her friend. This friend is married and has 2 kids and I knew it was a bad idea. Once again, I was right. I found out MIL went to a homeless shelter today because she thinks her friend is now in this conspiracy too. Supposedly, she heard her friend give my MIL's husband information over the phone about her. So she now thinks that if she stays her things are going to be searched and disappear. Also, this friend told MIL if she didn't like it there to leave and that she needs to be put on medication. Something obviously went wrong. She called my husband and he has no idea what to do since we are here and she is there. Within the last month, my MIL has traveled from KY to WI 3 times to stay by her friend (well former friend now). She has no job because she quit it to go to school ( and is not going anymore). She says she has no money because her husband has wiped out all the accounts (probably to get her to come back to live with him). My DH called her husband and he admitted that they were living beyond their means and that's the reason why they are in so much debt. Everything else he denied.
My MIL is obviously not happy but she is just out of her mind right now. She keeps going back and forth to KY and WI. She returns home to her husband and then a couple days later she gets paranoid about something and just ups and leaves. He called DH and told him he can't take this anymore, that if it happens again he's filing for divorce. I've tried to calm her down and told her that possibly someone got a hold of her identity but it's not necessarily the people who she thinks. I also told her she's not making a lot of sense and that a lot of people are worried about her, including the detective. She was furious about that. I told her that if this continues either my husband or her daughter will have to take her for a mental evaluation because she needs help. I know it's not very nice to tell someone that but what other choice do I have? She keeps calling me and ranting on for hours about a whole lot of nonsense and everyone thinks she is crazy. I have a 6 year old son and I'm a full time student so I'm pretty busy myself. She just ignores me and then flips out and starts swearing (not at me). She's never used the F word before, now she uses it quite often. Her daughter and son (my DH) are scared and they are her only next of kin that she has relations with. She hasn't seen her daughter in 3 years because they don't get along. We've been out here in WA for close to 3 years and haven't seen her since we moved. My DH doesn't want to ask MIL's husband to force her to get a mental evaluation because he doesn't trust him (he doesn't want him to have control over her if he's the bad guy his mom has said he is). Since she keeps coming back and then leaving, her husband wouldn't be able to put her in a hospital in KY anyways. She won't visit her daughter so there's nothing she can do for her mom. My husband definitely can't do nothing with being stationed so far away. Her other siblings don't really want to be put in the middle of this and I don't even think they know about any of the recent stuff. So what can we do for MIL? She needs a mental evaluation and possibly medication, but she's making it impossible for anyone to do anything because she keeps hopping from one place to another. At the same time she is stressing me and her kids out. If she's willing to put herself in a women's shelter (twice now) she's got to be pretty unhappy. You would think she'd snap back to reality if there wasn't something wrong. It doesn't look like she's going to recover from her paranoia anytime soon though. The last time we talked she said she was sleeping in her car near to where truckers park and sleep (maybe a rest area). She said her husband must have had someone follow her because someone flashed a light into her window when she was sleeping and the next day she realized that he had someone put a different cell phone in her purse than the one she had prior to falling asleep (this was while she was asleep in her car). Huh??? Anyone have any advise?