The post about nieces and nephews got me wondering. I don't think we're an obsessive aunt or uncle but we do have good relationships with our nieces and nephews. With the SILs that I get along with (1 SIL I have no relationship with and haven't for about 4 years) we give their children incentives to do well in school, we told one who is high school if she stayed on the honor roll all 4 years we'd pay for her to take flying lessons. We can afford to do that and similar things for all our nieces and nephews.
My question is; since I have zero relationship with 1 SIL and by default her daughter am I totally wrong to not offer something like this to her children?
Edited to add but included in the post below:
I guess I should've given some history. It's not from a lack of trying to have a relationship with SIL but throughout the last 5 years she's caused nothing but problems and this is what it's settled into. We see her daughter maybe 3 times a year and she keeps her from us, like we were the only people they didn't invite to the hospital when she had her, we didn't meet her until she was 5-6 months old, when she was learning to walk and cam near me SIL would walk over, pick her up and move her, she'll usher her into another room when we come to family functions, won't invite us to her birthdays, & won't attend the Easter egg hunt or Christmas movie night that we host for the nieces and nephews. And they live in the same city as us.I'm honestly uncomfortable to even talk to her daughter, because I'm worried SIL will cause a scene and tell me to stop talking to her daughter. I do feel bad that she'd getting left out (and we've tried to include her in other things) but if her mother is going to such great lengths to ensure that we have no relationship I guess I'm not sure why she should get the perks that the rest of my nieces and nephews get because we have a good relationship. That's snotty sounding I know. I'm just frustrated with the situation.