I got married in 2006. I planned every last detail to be perfect, and
it was as far at the decorations, the food, my dress etc. etc.
What didn't go right was the behavior of my guests and the groom.
My mom and dad, (divorced a long time ago) were each separately being
selfish and focused on their own needs the whole time. Even my
bridesmaids were shocked at what jerks they were both individually
being. My grandmother threatened to not show up due to some 20 year old
feud between me and my crazy uncle that I had not seen in 20 years and
didn't want at my wedding. One aunt didn't show up because she said she was too uncomfortable to be around my rude step mom. And another threatened at the last minute because all of a sudden she decided to get a divorce and said it would be too hard for her to attend a wedding. That aunt was the one bringing my grandmother in her car from out of state. And my wedding planner was the biggest
waste of money ever because I was dealing with all of the particulars
all night. I was personally dragging chairs where they should have been
at my ceremony site, I was writing checks for all of the vendors at the
end of the night, taking down decorations, loading presents into our
car by myself etc.
My groom was the worst though. He is such a social butterfly by nature,
that he often ditches me at parties till the end of the night. I knew
this ahead of time and made him promise to not do this at my wedding.
But he did. I sat at our Sweetheart Table alone through most of dinner,
very embarrassing, and even leveled with him outside at one point
telling him that his behavior was ruining the wedding for me and begged
him to stop ditching me, but he angrily brushed me off and didn't change
his behavior. And also drank too much, forgot to bring my ring, never
brought me a gift, even though we agreed to exchange gifts, and never
took care of finding us a ride home after, even though he agreed to make
that his responsibility. I ended up being afraid to get in his car
because he insisted on driving us even though he had drank too much.
Once we got to our hotel, he socialized with his friends in the lobby
for about an hour. I got so tired, I started to fall asleep on the
lobby couch waiting for him to wrap it up with them. He chose to walk
me upstairs to our suite, DROP ME OFF, and then go back down stairs to
hang out with his friends more. I was trying my best to be easy going
and not pick a fight on our wedding night, but needless to stay, the
fact that he did that, really hurt.
Then my cousin from out of town did not have a room to stay in at the
last minute for some reason, so my fiance offered to let him sleep IN
OUR SUITE! He thought it would be ok because it was on a couch outside
the bedroom part of our hotel suite.
we fought about all of this all night, and I cryed for hours saying I
want an anullment, worrying the whole time that my cousin could hear us
right outside the door. Of course we never even had sex.
We have now been married for 5 years and I can't seem to get over what a
nightmarish failure my wedding day was. I resent my husband, and still
feel unimportant to him in many ways all of the time. He says he is
sorry, but feels the wedding day was a success because the guests had a
good time and everything looked pretty and the food was good.
Should I renew my vows with him in a small private ceremony to try to
replace the bad experience in my mind and start fresh? I can't think of
another way to recover from this very painful experience.
Thanks for your advice.