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s/o breast-feeding: a question from a non-mom

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Re: s/o breast-feeding: a question from a non-mom

  • image jessica0602:

    I have intentions of bfing but you are all scaring the shiit out of me regarding hospital LCs.

    Book recs please?

    I read The Nursing Mother's Companion. Never took a class but it would have helped, certainly during those early weeks when stress and anxiety are high.

    For the record, I had good experiences with the LC's at Pennsy. But I also did not have issues that required much work on their part, aside from my bimonthly phone calls about fussing, refusing to eat, etc.  

    To the OP, I was indifferent about BF.  Figured I should at least give it a try and resolved that I was going to be a slave to the baby for the first few weeks. My GF is/was grossed out at the thought (viewed it as a bodily fluid, freaked out by leaking etc.) but wanted to give it a go. She ended up pumping from the start due to jaundice and has switched over to formula due to reflux. I'm not sure how much her views led her to this but she is totally fine with her decision. Baby is thriving and she's doing what she needs to do to get through each day. As a wise mother once told me, "So long as he's thriving and you haven't jumped off a bridge, you're doing everything right"

     

    My boy refused a bottle until after I returned to work so he basically trained me into being an exclusive breastfeeder. And I'm glad he did. We're still at it nearly 6 mo later. My goal was six months. I plan to continue beyond that.  And will continue to field all the, "you're STILL BFing?" questions.

    I think what separates the BF from the FF in terms of "bond" is that satisfaction on the mother's side seeing your baby thrive on what your body produced for him. You will certainly have a strong bond whether you breast or formula feed. That's inevitable. 

  • image meldot:

    i still can not talk about breastfeeding without getting teary. I tried so fecking hard to bf, and it did not work. I thought I was rocking out at the hospital-we were writing down how long on each breast, doing everything right, the LCs kept checking and helping (I needed to use a breast shield) and even though it was hard, I kept going. And then by day 3, he had lost too much weight. and on day 4 when we went back to the pediatrician, he lost more weight. so we had to put him on formula and he magically gained weight (turns out if you feed your kid, they grow)

    i had a lc come to my house. i had my doula come over at 11pm on a saturday to help, but it still just didn't work for us.

    so, i kept pumping and trying to bf and it never worked. He screamed when it was time to bf and knocked the shield off and i cried and it was a mess.

    on the upside, i have no supply issues, so i've been pumping exclusively. with the exception of the first 2 weeks and 2 days where we weirdly ran out of milk, max has only had breastmilk. i have had clogged ducts several times and mastitis, and i'd still do it again.

     but i still wish i could have bf in the traditional sense.

    Again, you are totally my baby feeding hero.  You kick ass.

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • ha, thanks
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • WHen I was pregnant with Andrew, I was obviously very young and immature. I never even gave breastfeeding a try. Partially because it weirded me out and I had never known anyone in my family to breastfeed, and the other part that I had to go back to school in 6 weeks, so it would just be easier.

    When I was pregnant with Chase, I was just gonig to taking the same formula feeding method with Andrew. He obviously thrived and grew perfectly from it, so I figured why not? Then I had Chase. I was still in the L&D room since they were out of recovery rooms. They brought him to me with an empty cart. No food, pampers, nothing. The nurse said, "ok its time to feed him" and literally unsnapped my gown before i even knew what was happening. Next thing I know She is cupping my boob and I was breastfeeding. After I got over the initial shock and over stepping of the foreign nurse, I kind of felt like super woman. I was feeding my baby with milk that my body created. It was surreal. I continued strong for 3 weeks. Chase was not gaining weight at all. He actually started losing. The doctor said it was time for formula. Being uninformed 100% about the world of breastfeeding, I followed his orders and stopped.

    When pregnant with Bella, I was a bit more informed an really wanted to breastfeed 100%. I had a class booked and everything. Then she came 7 weeks early and was in the NICU. I did pump my butt off for her because I knew it was the best thing for her. They also supplimented with extra calorie formula to help her gain weight. the nurses helped me to try and put her to breast, but poor tiny thing would get lost. My boob was bigger then her head. SHoot, I think my nipple and areola were bigger than her head. I pumped and pumped and pumped until I couldn't anymore.

    To end this novel, I do plan on breastfeeding this time around. I wish I did have a more supportive family, but it's just not happening. MIL is the worst and was constantly telling me it was"a waste of time". As long as DH is on my side, I think we will get through. I hope to actually do the class this time and get more information to better prepare myself.

     

  • image tracyd21:

    image lachute:
    I just want to state that I understand BF does not work out for everyone. But if all that is holding you back is the idea that your breasts are just sexual objects then I find that sad.

    That's definitely not it for me, but I can't quite explain why I feel weird about it.  That said, I plan to try bf-ing when I have a kid. 

    I will say Matthew's story and the other stories of clogged ducts scare me to death.  I'm so sorry you ladies had to go through that.

    Sorry to scary you. If it's any consolation a breast abscess is extremely rare which is why my pedi never diagnosed me correctly. I was the first case of that level of severity the practice of 25 years has ever seen. I was highly disappointed with my ob's however loved Doylestown hospital they were fantastic during both of my stays.

  • Its nice to hear the good and bad sides of b'feeding.  I'm definitely going to try it but am nervous.  I'm not so worried about the pain as I am with not feeling comfortable having a baby attached to my nipple.  I know that nursing in public is always going to be difficult for me.  Both my mother and MIL FF and neither had any supportive things to say about BF.  When my mother was in town to take me shopping for baby things, she actually shooed me out of the pump aisle at BRU and said I could "figure that out on my own."  However, a good friend from college bf her son for almost 9 months despite multiple clogged ducts and mastitis issues, so hopefully she will be a good ally.

    Did anyone try the La Leche League meetings?  Some people have mentioned they are very helpful.  I've also heard that they have very strong opinions about how long you should bf and aren't always nice to people who disagree...

    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/1zo7nv4.jpg[/IMG]



    Cut Twice, Measure Again
  • Honestly, before I got pg I never even thought about bf'ing.  I knew my mom ff all 3 of us and we turned out great so there you have it.  I also wasn't totally comfortable with my boobs, they have been huge since I was way too young and I always got made fun of, so I really wanted nothing to do with it. 

    At some point early in my pg I was talking to my mil who started telling me all about her bf'ing days.  She had a difficult time (she pumped by hand for months!) but had so many positive things to say about it that I decided to look into it more.  After reading some books I became a  bf'ing convert and wanted to give it a try.  I never took a class bc after doing some reading I didn't feel like someone else could teach me how to do this it was something baby and I would figure out.  My mom thought I was crazy and didn't hold back from telling me so.  She told me to stop being so "hippie." umm, ok Huh?  Needless to say, I had no support from her on the topic of bf'ing.

    When Alex was born it didn't just click.  He wouldn't latch on.  There were tears on top of tears. I asked every person who came in that room for help.  I felt like such a failure.  I was ready to quit but my DH was the one who cheered me on bc he grew up in a house where his mom was always bf'ing someone (he has a bunch of younger sibs). Then we tried a breast shield and we started to get it a little bit.  My last day in the hospital (Abington) was a monday and a new LC was on duty and she was amazing.  By the time we left 2 days after he was born we were off and running and I was able to bf pretty seamlessly until he was 12 months.  I pumped in the bathroom at work for the 3 months I went back.  I never had mastitis or thrush and had a clogged duct once when I started weaning but it worked itself out. 

    Oh and my Mom is a bf'ing convert now too.  A couple of months ago we were at a family party where one of my cousins was pg.  I overheard my Mom telling her how she should talk to me about bf'ing bc it worked out so great for us.  Not gonna lie, it made me over the moon happy to see how she has changed and how proud she was of me.

  • image amy052006:
    image meldot:

    i still can not talk about breastfeeding without getting teary. I tried so fecking hard to bf, and it did not work. I thought I was rocking out at the hospital-we were writing down how long on each breast, doing everything right, the LCs kept checking and helping (I needed to use a breast shield) and even though it was hard, I kept going. And then by day 3, he had lost too much weight. and on day 4 when we went back to the pediatrician, he lost more weight. so we had to put him on formula and he magically gained weight (turns out if you feed your kid, they grow)

    i had a lc come to my house. i had my doula come over at 11pm on a saturday to help, but it still just didn't work for us.

    so, i kept pumping and trying to bf and it never worked. He screamed when it was time to bf and knocked the shield off and i cried and it was a mess.

    on the upside, i have no supply issues, so i've been pumping exclusively. with the exception of the first 2 weeks and 2 days where we weirdly ran out of milk, max has only had breastmilk. i have had clogged ducts several times and mastitis, and i'd still do it again.

     but i still wish i could have bf in the traditional sense.

    Again, you are totally my baby feeding hero.  You kick ass.

    Ditto Amy. I've started pumping at work this week and I don't love it.  I give you a lot of credit.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image larrysdarling:
    image amy052006:
    image meldot:

    i still can not talk about breastfeeding without getting teary. I tried so fecking hard to bf, and it did not work. I thought I was rocking out at the hospital-we were writing down how long on each breast, doing everything right, the LCs kept checking and helping (I needed to use a breast shield) and even though it was hard, I kept going. And then by day 3, he had lost too much weight. and on day 4 when we went back to the pediatrician, he lost more weight. so we had to put him on formula and he magically gained weight (turns out if you feed your kid, they grow)

    i had a lc come to my house. i had my doula come over at 11pm on a saturday to help, but it still just didn't work for us.

    so, i kept pumping and trying to bf and it never worked. He screamed when it was time to bf and knocked the shield off and i cried and it was a mess.

    on the upside, i have no supply issues, so i've been pumping exclusively. with the exception of the first 2 weeks and 2 days where we weirdly ran out of milk, max has only had breastmilk. i have had clogged ducts several times and mastitis, and i'd still do it again.

     but i still wish i could have bf in the traditional sense.

    Again, you are totally my baby feeding hero.  You kick ass.

    Ditto Amy. I've started pumping at work this week and I don't love it.  I give you a lot of credit.

    I hated pumping at work til I found a really good book to read while doing it (in the bathroom at lunch).  By the end I actually looked forward to that time.

  • I don't have a lot to add here - I planned on EBFing and luckily it worked out really well for me with both kids.  Sam was a but more difficult to get latched but I had wonderful LC's at the hospital

    I didn't take a class but found the BFing section of What To Expect When You're Expecting and WTE The First Year to be really helpful.  I bought The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding and hated it.  By page 2 my eyes were about to roll out of my head.  If you want to BF and for whatever reason it doesn't work out, that book will not make you feel good about it.  I found the theme of that book to be "formula is the devil"

    I am not comfortable with NIP for me - it doesn't bother me at all when others do it.  The Bump has this mentality that if you aren't doing it and putting it all out there, you are against the movement to make it more acceptable and that is just not true

    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • I want to BF when it comes time, both my sister and I were EBF and most of our friends BF.  One of my close friends said it best when I asked her why she wanted to do it - she's like, "Well, breast milk is free. Formula is expensive."

    My question is did anyone have a fear of doing it in public or in front of family or friends?  Most of my friends will just whip 'em out when I'm around and I am totally comfortable with that, 100%. I just know that I might not be.  I tend to be a pretty private person with stuff like that.  And I know some people will do it under a blanket?  But my friend is very pro-BF and is involved with La Leche League and they are very ANTI that kind of stuff. 

    I just can't imagine sitting on the couch and have my FIL watch me BF. Now that creeps me out.

    I get that my b00b might not be hanging out for the world to see, just the act of it with certain family members around just kinda creeps me out.

  • image jewels2730:

    My question is did anyone have a fear of doing it in public or in front of family or friends?  Most of my friends will just whip 'em out when I'm around and I am totally comfortable with that, 100%. I just know that I might not be.  I tend to be a pretty private person with stuff like that.  And I know some people will do it under a blanket?

    I get that my b00b might not be hanging out for the world to see, just the act of it with certain family members around just kinda creeps me out.

    I imagine I will go with the blanket route unless I'm in front of someone I'm VERY comfortable with, i.e. DH, my mom, MIL or my sister.

  • jewels, I truly believe that babies can sense your discomfort.  If you are anxious about it, chances are they are going to sense it and not nurse well.

    Just do what you are comfortable with.  When I am with certain friends I had no problem doing it.  At a family party with lots of people around?  Yeah, I am finding a quiet bedroom

    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • It makes me sad that some of you had to pump in the bathroom while at work.  Did they not have a private room? 
  • image jewels2730:

    I want to BF when it comes time, both my sister and I were EBF and most of our friends BF.  One of my close friends said it best when I asked her why she wanted to do it - she's like, "Well, breast milk is free. Formula is expensive."

    My question is did anyone have a fear of doing it in public or in front of family or friends?  Most of my friends will just whip 'em out when I'm around and I am totally comfortable with that, 100%. I just know that I might not be.  I tend to be a pretty private person with stuff like that.  And I know some people will do it under a blanket?  But my friend is very pro-BF and is involved with La Leche League and they are very ANTI that kind of stuff. 

    I just can't imagine sitting on the couch and have my FIL watch me BF. Now that creeps me out.

    I get that my b00b might not be hanging out for the world to see, just the act of it with certain family members around just kinda creeps me out.

    I have no issue NIP. Sometimes I use a blanket but most of the time I just use my clothing to make sure most of my boob is covered. Plus my kid is big and has lots of hair so you really can't see much.

    I will tell you that labor and delivery/c-section was a very humbling experience for me. You're completely laid out on a table, you have no control, can't feel half of your body and for a brief time you're mostly uncovered.  I had to have help putting on massive pads and underwear. I needed help peeing.

    After that, showing a little bit of nipple was NOTHING to me. I thought I'd feel uncomfortable bfing in front of family or they'd be uncomfortable seeing it but that's just not the case.  My dad and FIL have been there when I'm nursing.  They do give me privacy, though I've never asked for it, but it's actually fine when they're there b/c it removes the stigma of it and makes it feel more natural.  I think it's helped me continue bfing, actually.  I've had a lot of support to bf from my dad, fil, and especially my husband.

    Now, I don't do it in front of my dh's friends or in the open at parties. I know not everyone is comfortable with it. That's ok with me.

     

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Not quite ready for motherhood note:  I definitely thought NIP was just you all being cheeky and not saying nipple.  It took me until this moment to understand that it means nursing in public.  3 cheers for maternal instincts!  yikes!


  • image erbur78:
    It makes me sad that some of you had to pump in the bathroom while at work.  Did they not have a private room? 

    seriously. i'm never quitting this job until i have a kid. not only is the maternity leave completely awesome and amazing, we have a bf room with seperate areas seperated by curtains if more than one person is in there and it has a fridge where you can label and store milk until the end of the day.

    My little nuggets

    image

  • image Kernel14:

    image erbur78:
    It makes me sad that some of you had to pump in the bathroom while at work.  Did they not have a private room? 

    seriously. i'm never quitting this job until i have a kid. not only is the maternity leave completely awesome and amazing, we have a bf room with seperate areas seperated by curtains if more than one person is in there and it has a fridge where you can label and store milk until the end of the day.

    We have an empty office we can use at my company but there is a woman from another office in our building that comes down to our bathroom 3 times a day to pump and only because we have a bench in our bathroom so she can sit down.    I feel bad for her.

    image

    #1  12.11.11
    #2  10.23.13 EDD
  • image amy052006:
    image meldot:

    i still can not talk about breastfeeding without getting teary. I tried so fecking hard to bf, and it did not work. I thought I was rocking out at the hospital-we were writing down how long on each breast, doing everything right, the LCs kept checking and helping (I needed to use a breast shield) and even though it was hard, I kept going. And then by day 3, he had lost too much weight. and on day 4 when we went back to the pediatrician, he lost more weight. so we had to put him on formula and he magically gained weight (turns out if you feed your kid, they grow)

    i had a lc come to my house. i had my doula come over at 11pm on a saturday to help, but it still just didn't work for us.

    so, i kept pumping and trying to bf and it never worked. He screamed when it was time to bf and knocked the shield off and i cried and it was a mess.

    on the upside, i have no supply issues, so i've been pumping exclusively. with the exception of the first 2 weeks and 2 days where we weirdly ran out of milk, max has only had breastmilk. i have had clogged ducts several times and mastitis, and i'd still do it again.

     but i still wish i could have bf in the traditional sense.

    Again, you are totally my baby feeding hero.  You kick ass.

    agreed. i honestly don't know if i could do what you have done.  

  • re: NIP

    I honestly use a cover for other people more then myself. I can be pretty discreet if needed but I really don't have time to debate someone or worry about someone freaked out when all I really care about while in public is getting my baby fed.  

    My FIL is a champ when i nurse and is like whatever. My dad gets frantic and hides in another room its annoying.  

  • there is a lot of good stuff here in this post.

    to give my own "story", i had never wanted to BF. I just wasn't drawn to it. Then they brought me Francey in the room and asked if I was breastfeeding and I said , um, sure I will try. and i liked it.  but I really was unprepared. I didn't know how to do it, and my case was particular because I had had a breast reduction. and i didn't read up on BFing after that (apparently there is a great book by a local expert Diane West I think).  So I met with a bunch of LCs in the hosp, they all conflicted themselves, one was insistent that I need to pump the hell out of them and I tried pumping and I hated the machine and everything about it. We got home, I breastfed to the best of my uneducated ability, called the 'good' LC for advice, watched videos, and it hurt like hell. I figured out how to do a decent latch.  And I kind of liked doing it.  After a few weeks of being upset with myself at not knowing enough, and honestly, being really super selfish, I stopped after 4 weeks (she was getting some formula also - but I even screwed up how much she was supposed to get supplemented through a miscommunication with the doc).  So I finally just stopped.

    So in summary, I didn't do my homework, I was mad at myself for not doing it, I was nervous about having a baby and stuff in general, my hormones were nuts, and in the end, I guess I just crapped out and went for formula.  I have to say that making final decision to do so brought my mind and attitude to a better place. Francey was eating, gaining weight, DH fed her, we all started to get used to each other once I let go of my own mental abuse of "OMG I HAVE to be BFing this and I am going to fail if I don't".  I still think I failed because I gave up at 4 weeks - because from the reports here, it does get better, but I wanted it better right away - both the feeding and my mind.  I will say though that I don't regret stopping, not one bit.

    [IMG]http://i53.tinypic.com/mjodh1.jpg[/IMG] Hi Francey!
  • I never even considered not breastfeeding. My mom breastfed all four of us, and my MIL breastfed her three kids, so I definitely had the support system. I didn't take a class, but I read Breastfeeding Made Simple (and recommend it). I had my mom in the delivery room, so she and the nurses helped get me set up to nurse right after DD1 was born. I was fortunate that breastfeeding came pretty easily to both of my girls, and while I had the typical soreness in the beginning and a few clogged ducts along the way, it has been an overwhelmingly positive experience.

    I think you really need to be sure about breastfeeding in order to give it a fair shot. If you're uncertain about it, I think the temptation to give in to formula can be incredibly enticing. In the beginning, breastfeeding can be painful and demanding and stressful, and at that point, if you're not set on it, formula understandably starts looking like a better option. I mean, I was set on breastfeeding, and even I wondered if I were cut out for it when my nipples felt like they had been rubbed with sandpaper and my engorged breasts felt like rocks about to burst from the pressure. But, for most women, once you get through those first few weeks, breastfeeding becomes much easier and incredibly rewarding, imo.

    To comment on some other points: I delivered at Lankenau and didn't need much help from the LCs there, but I thought they were nice enough. I give props to anyone who EPs because, man, I hate pumping. I am mostly comfortable nursing in public, with a nursing cover or blanket, but in certain situations I will go into another room. I'm not very good at being discreet; even with a cover I'm fairly certain I've flashed my nips a couple times.

    Emily Suzanne 11.29.2007 | Kate Josephine 4.3.2010 | D&E 10w6d 9.5.2012 | EDD 8.17.2013
  • image eaglesfan700:

    I truly believe that babies can sense your discomfort.  If you are anxious about it, chances are they are going to sense it and not nurse well.

    Seriously, my ob/gyn pretty much said this at my last BP check.  She said if you go in with the mindset that it's not going to be a good BF session, the baby can pick up on it & it won't be a good session. 
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
  • I probably have the cheesiest story ever...

    I was one of those girls that always though bf'ing was gross and boobs were for show.  When we rescued my puppy, she was about 3-1/2 weeks old and very sick.  the vet said she was still supposed to be with her mom and needed her milk!!!  LIGHTBULB MOMENT!  I had NEVER considered bf'ing until then...

    I had keira, she was in teh NICU for a few days and I pumped and nursed.  I was a wreck, she was being difficult but then the best thing happened...the visting nurse came to my house and weighed her and she gained!  that gave me the confidence that I needed to continue.  I was home with her for 6 months and she eventually weaned before i went back to work...although today, i realized should have stuck with it (nursing strike)

    #2--i was so comfortable with it and it came very natural.  she was an EXTREMELY difficult baby but I was dedicated.  I never though that i could ever pump at work, but at 4-1/2 months, I did and felt awesome about it.  I lasted for a few months and just recently stopped when she was a little over 8 months (due to medication).  I really beat myself up about it but she is doing great

    It is def not for everyone, and at times i felt like a prisioner but it really is a unique bond and well worth the work!!!  basically none of my friends or fam bf, its nice to see so many on here doing so....for the record...I HATE PUMPING and all aspects of it...meldot--awesome!

    congrats to all the mommies out there (whether FF or BF) either way it is ALOT of hard work (but so fufilling)

    and as eagles said...Jeff's LC spec are WONDERFUL!!!

    [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/2iwabh1.jpg[/IMG]
  • I'm late in the game, but I'll respond anyway...

    I went into BFing as if it were the only option -- I really wanted it to work and I belived that if you put your mind to it and tried hard enough, it would work. I did all of the preparation -- to the point where I would give my mom friends advice about BFing b/c I read so many books and took classes about it.

    Oliver decided to come early and was in the NICU for a month so I pumped from day one. I'd set my alarm for every 2 hours in the middle of the night to pump. I saw lactation consultants everyday for 21 days (they must be hit or miss b/c I had a great experience at Pennsy...but I saw the LCs that work with NICU moms so maybe that's why). I would "power pump" (pump for 10 mins, then off for 10 mins for an hour) and keep a detailed log of how much milk I got and when. My supply never got better and Oliver had a hard time nursing b/c he was on a ventilator so he never really developed a good sucking reflex. I was also stressed b/c he was so sick (stress is bad for milk supply). I cried when the nurses had to give him formula for the first time b/c they ran out of my freezer stash. I finally gave in to FFing full-time after 8 weeks when the LCs and my pedi told me "it's ok to FF, and in your case I think you should." It was so hard to make that decision and when I came back to work I wanted to cry when I saw girls with their medela bags. Looking back I was so crazy and obsessed with breastfeeding that I didn't enjoy my baby for the first 2 months (I probably had PPD). I finally started enjoying him once I was FFing, and it was the best thing I ever did.

    I used to be one of those moms who didn't understand why someone would formula-feed. Now I have a completely different opinion and I realized we're all just trying to do what's best for us and our babies...it doesn't matter if you FF from day one. It's your choice and you're doing what's best for your family. BFing is worth trying, but if you find yourself stressing to the point where you're not enjoying your baby, then I think FF is a better option.

    My Boys

    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/2d9vkzn.jpg[/IMG]
  • LOL and I'll add that my LC at Pennsy photocopied my pumping log book b/c she wants to use it for some sort of study and show to other LCs b/c she was so impressed. We still keep in touch via email and she's like my second mom. So...good LCs do exist! :)

    PS: a prescription for reglan is also an option if you want to increase your supply. it did help me temporarily but I had to stop b/c it made me so drowsy (to the point where I thought I was going to fall asleep driving the car).

    My Boys

    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/2d9vkzn.jpg[/IMG]
  • image jewels2730:

    My question is did anyone have a fear of doing it in public or in front of family or friends?  Most of my friends will just whip 'em out when I'm around and I am totally comfortable with that, 100%. I just know that I might not be.  I tend to be a pretty private person with stuff like that.  And I know some people will do it under a blanket?  But my friend is very pro-BF and is involved with La Leche League and they are very ANTI that kind of stuff. 

    I wanted to give a different point of view as I'm still nursing 6 mo later but absolutely NOT comfortable nursing in front of other people besides DH. This includes in public, at home, with friends or mom, sister, etc. It led me to feeling quite trapped the first few months.  I also have a cover and it was easy to use during the first weeks but from 2-3 months on, DS bats at it and tries to move it to the point where we're fighting with each other the entire time. If I'm out and about and need to nurse, I'll take him to the car.  

  • I'm way late, but I'll share my experience. I have never had any strong desire to breastfeed.  It wasn't that I thought breasts were sexual.  Not at all...it was mostly because I think it's gross.  It's a bodily fluid, I had a really hard time getting past that.  And also I have a hate/hate relationship with my girls.  So making them center stage was not something I was really into.  But I begrudgingly committed to at least trying since I knew it was best for the baby.  I said I would try for a month, since I had read the first few weeks were the worst.  I really didn't have a lot of examples either way in my family.  I was breastfed for about two months then moved to formula. 

    Anyway, that's how someone who really had no interest in it approached it.  That all went out the window of course since Emma came early and was in the NICU.  I had to pump.  Pumping exclusively is awful.  I was doing it every 3 hours.  I tried actually breastfeeding Emma but her mouth was too small.  It was awful, and such a self esteem wrecker. 

    I committed to pumping because it was the only thing I could do for her.  I felt so helpless otherwise.  I pumped every 3 hours 24 hours a day.  I diligently marked when I did it and how much I was getting.  My supply was awful, I couldn't make enough to feed her even when she was only getting like an ounce a feeding.  Every step of the way I hated it.  Everytime I had to pump a feeling of dread came over me.  I pumped exclusively for 6 weeks.  She was still getting over half her supply from high calorie formula because I wasn't making enough.  She was never able to latch at all.  And I was beyond miserable.  I didn't want to get up in the morning because I hated pumping so much.

    So I decided to stop.  It was not worth me being that miserable.  Suddenly my days looked brighter.  I got to spend more time with Emma since I wasn't attached like a cow to a pump.  I stopped crying and laying in bed so much.  My life was a 180 degree change.  And since I was happier, Emma was happier. 

    I have not had a lot of guilt about my decision.  I expected guilt, but I think our lives are better now...so why feel guilty?  My child is fed, she is growing, I am not depressed. 

    The only problems I had were from the peanut gallery.  That is my biggest take away from it.  Whether you are staunchly pro-breastfeeding or staunchly pro-formula feeding, don't judge others.  They are feeding their baby, and doing what is best for them and their family.  Formula is not poison.  Support them in their decision, no matter what it is.  And if you are the ILs, keep ya mouth shut.

    Now if they wanted to make their own formula with karo syrup...that's another story...;-)

  • image ibekatieg:
    image jewels2730:

    My question is did anyone have a fear of doing it in public or in front of family or friends?  Most of my friends will just whip 'em out when I'm around and I am totally comfortable with that, 100%. I just know that I might not be.  I tend to be a pretty private person with stuff like that.  And I know some people will do it under a blanket?  But my friend is very pro-BF and is involved with La Leche League and they are very ANTI that kind of stuff. 

    I wanted to give a different point of view as I'm still nursing 6 mo later but absolutely NOT comfortable nursing in front of other people besides DH. This includes in public, at home, with friends or mom, sister, etc. It led me to feeling quite trapped the first few months.  I also have a cover and it was easy to use during the first weeks but from 2-3 months on, DS bats at it and tries to move it to the point where we're fighting with each other the entire time. If I'm out and about and need to nurse, I'll take him to the car.  

    Ditto this, except I will do it in front of family or other nursing moms.  But otherwise, I feel awky.  Not because I feel there is something wrong with it, but we struggled A LOT in the beginning.  Private LC, support groups, getting the tongue tie snipped, and the damn nursing shield, plus jaundice.  For a long time, nursing was just a hot mess for us.  I think I missed my window on learning to do it discretely.

     

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
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