I've been friends with R for about 12 years. We've never been BFF, but I see her about once a month for HH or brunch and she's someone that I really adore and admire. Even though we aren't BFF I feel like I can talk to her about serious things and we've come to each other for advice before. R has always been an overachiever (in a good way) and very motivated.
R has been dating J for about 5 years. J is not an overachiever or motivated. I get that it works for them though. J has been unemployed for about 6 months, has his GED and does not want to go back to school. J has forgotten to file for unemployment multiple times while he has been employed and has told R that he just wants to be at home and watch TV. IMO J is basically freeloading off of R. Essentially they are a single income household with no kids. J does not help pay R's mortgage or bills, but lives in her house.
This past year R had some medical issues and had to take leave from work for a few months. She feels that since she was able to take leave for a few months this year R should be able to too. (R was getting disability pay while on leave while J is not consistently getting unemployment.)
I am getting seriously concerned for R as I suspect she's in the beginning stages of an eating disorder, she's told me that she's racked up some CC debt because her and J can't keep up with her bills since she was on leave and he wasn't working and she's just not the same vibrant R that she used to be. Some of this is due to her medical issue though.
I really feel like R is selling herself short by being with J, but it's not my business to say anything right? What can I do (if anything) to help R?