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MIL Problems

I don't post here much, just lurk around a few boards, but today some problems today has just gotten me a bit worked up nad I wanted to get some other opinions. 

I graduated in December and have somewhat been looking for a job since about Jan/Feb, but not hard core - kinda taking a little break mainly. MIL got me a receptionist position at the dermatology clinic she works at, which is easy work, but I can't see myself staying there long- it's not what I want to do. The two days I've been to work, she's been constantly questioning everything I do, even though it's what the person training me asked me to do, or just plain common sense. For example, Friday I was showed where the time cards were kept and how to scan in. I go in this morning and notice my card isn't there. I walk to the front desk and she walks up with my card in hand and follows me to the clock to ensure I swipe it right. I mean I own a credit card - I know how to scan a card. She also had the nerve to text DH asking him to tell me to wear more deoderant because she didn't want to tell me anything herself. This is after I had a few compliments from other coworkers that they loved the smell of my perfume.

I do have an interview tomorrow for a position that I would absolutely love, but I don't have my hopes up for it as I'm underqualified. I just don't know how much longer I can work in the same building as MIL, and it's only been 2 days.

Am I wrong for feeling like this? I mean this is her nature - she does the same things at our house, like following me around as I'm cleaning, telling me I'm doing things wrong just because it's not the way she does it, asking me to do something and if I don't get up that second she will do it herself. It's just getting frustrating. All hubby says is "be thankful she got you a job" or "at least she is helping us clean up" but I don't want the help.

Even if no one responds, I just wanted to vent this out.  

Re: MIL Problems

  • She's more annoying than my MIL.

    Sorry! 

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  • No way in hell would I continue working with her in this situation. Take a job at a fast food restaurant if you have to. 
    Hope is not a strategy.
  • I agree with ZestofLime.

    I worked for my FIL full time and it was terrible. I had to take a hundred steps back. 

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    All hubby says is "be thankful she got you a job" or "at least she is helping us clean up" but I don't want the help.

    Maybe your H is trying to be helpful or see the glass as half full but if these things really bother you, you need to change them. Tell MIL that you don't want/need her help in your house. If she doesn't listen have your H tell her. Set your boundaries. And good luck in your job search!

  • Do you live with her?
  • No, we don't live with her. She just comes over like every other week and right away starts cleaning. We have both told her we don't want her help, but she refuses to quit. I actuallly don't invite her over as much because of this. 

     

    I talked to hubby a bit more and he said he 100% understands if I quit. He could never work with immediate family. He also assured me that I don't have to be working right now, as long as we curb excess spending. So, I will give it a few more days to see if maybe she will back off after it's not my first/second day, but I'm not sure she will.  

  • Well at least you have the option to quit. Also if MIL starts cleaning when she comes to your home then send her packing or better yet have your DH  send her packing .
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  • image sarah42nd:
    Well at least you have the option to quit. Also if MIL starts cleaning when she comes to your home then send her packing or better yet have your DH  send her packing .

     

    I agree 

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  • I think you need to start practicing the phrase, "Thanks, I've got it." with a firm but polite smile. 

    This works for the office and home.

     

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • Is there an office manager?

    Refer this matter to the office manager -- I am surprised the office manager hasn't nipped this mess in the bud already.

     You're supposed to be learning your job and she's disrupting the process. 

    If she is the office manager...manohman, have you got problems. Grin and bear it until you get another job. GL.

  • Your MIL sounds like she may have Obsessive Compulsive Personality Disorder, which is different from OCD.  Some of the symptoms of which are: 

    • Excess devotion to work, cleaning

    • Inability to throw things away, even when the objects have no value

    • Lack of flexibility

    • Lack of generosity

    • Not wanting to allow other people to do things

    • Not willing to show affection

    • Preoccupation with details, rules, and lists

     http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001938/

    The reason I am familiar with this disorder is that my Mother has this disorder.  She is obsessed with cleaning, when I was growing up, she never allowed me to do something, she always took over, because I could never do it right or good enough.

    I think the thing to do is set boundaries and develop coping strategies. 

  • image bluesecrets:

     I mean this is her nature - she does the same things at our house, like following me around as I'm cleaning, telling me I'm doing things wrong just because it's not the way she does it, asking me to do something and if I don't get up that second she will do it herself. It's just getting frustrating. All hubby says is "be thankful she got you a job" or "at least she is helping us clean up" but I don't want the help.

    Even if no one responds, I just wanted to vent this out.  

    If you knew this, why did you choose to work in the same practice as her? Bad idea. 

     I'm not too big on family members working together, especially in-laws. I am an assistant manager for a dermatology practice and we never hire-in family members of current employees. It's always trouble, at least from my experience.

  • You are nuts for taking a job with MIL!  Mine tried to get me to work with her years back... there was no way in he!! I would even consider it.  She connived her way into making BIL make xSIL take the job when she got pregnant.  MIL is the nosiest person and the biggest drama queen ever.  The two of them working together caused so many problems, I cant even list them all on one page.  For starters, its a big part of the reason she's xSIL, and I dont for a second blame her for leaving BIL.  Granted, BIL was a huge part of the problem as well, it was very stressful for all of them.

    Run from this job immediately!!!!!  And make your H make his mom backoff with the cleaning stuff, that would be so irritating. 

    Sorry, I have a strong negative MIL opinion in general cause I cant stand mine :) LOL 

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  • Sounds like my idea of hell.... my advice.... RUN :) Good luck on the other job.
    Mrs. D
  • She hasn't been talking to me as much anymore, and after talking to another girl who is training me, she does that to everyone. She sounded frustrated when we were talking about it. 

     Hopefully I hear back from one of hte two positions I applied to that are actually related to my degree. Then this whole mess won't matter.

     

    Thanks girl for listening and offering advice. 

  • That is annoying, I'm sorry. I would hate to work with any of my ILs. Sorry this is happening to you! I would just calmly explain to her that you have been very well trained and that this is what they told you to do. It's possible that they are training you differently than she was trained. I have a MIL that thinks she knows everything too. It's annoying. Just try to stay calm (maybe I should take my own advice once in awhile)
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  • I worked for my in-laws for 9 months. FIL wasn't bad and MIL only "worked" some days...but yeah I wouldn't recommend it. Things get even messier if you are there for awhile and then get a new job that is better. Among other things, I was called "ungrateful" and was basically the cause of all their problems once I gave them my 2 weeks notice. Even though they knew I was looking for a job since I moved here.

     I would probably leave. Working in retail would be preferable to that. Good luck getting a great job!

     oh and as for the cleaning, you and H need to step up and say hell no.

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