Family Matters
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Re Family Drama

So my 40 year old cousin (D) had told his 19 year old half sister (C) that she is MY half sister too. Yeah NO!

She contacted me via facebook and said yay we are sister, you are the sister I never knew I had.  I told her that it was not true and she needed to speak with her mother without her brother in the the room.  Apperantly they are going off the assumption that because she looks like me (which she does not--which really has no bearing really) that my dad is her father) that my father is her father. 

Now my father is/was no saint and did have sex with this women but not in the time frame to have concieved this child. She was born July 92 which means she was concieve Oct. 91 give or take. My dad had just taken custody of me in Aug and it was a busy few months trying to get me enrolled into school. And the mother in all this was not even in the same state.

The mother of this girl went after child support of another man and got it, now that the girl is 19 they are just now telling her another man is her father. (the mother and D). 

 A tad bit of back story this cousin was mad at my father because my father torn down the house that my grandmother owned. The house was condemed* and the county had given my family a date to either get it tore down and cleaned up or they would step in and do it and then would lose the plot of land.  Since my other cousin (S) owned 3 shares of the land (her mothers after her death, hers, and her brothers since he was under 18) and my dad owned another they did not need the consent of my uncle (A).  It was either get it cleaned up or lose it.   A and D are mad cause they didnt have a say, and D is mad cause he was not in my grandmothers will (sucks to act stupid).

So I told C that there was no way that my father was hers. My dad is going to be contacting her in the near future to tell her himself, but right now he is in canada driving a truck so when he gets back down in the states he will. He needs to talk to his wife first so she knows whats going on.

So in the end, I am hoping this young women can find closer and her family will stop jerking her around just to piss off family members.!

Re: Re Family Drama

  • Just stay out of it.  Way too messy to get involved with.  Why would you even want to be involved with people who lie like that?  Because she either lied to the other guy and collected money from him for years, or she's lying now about your dad. Either way, that's pretty despicable.   

    C is your half cousin, correct?  So your dad slept with the same person that either his brother or BIL (your mom's brother) did?   

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  • Why are you even addressing these issues? Good G*d this is complicated and bizarre.
    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image Shell24:

    Just stay out of it.  Way too messy to get involved with.  Why would you even want to be involved with people who lie like that?  Because she either lied to the other guy and collected money from him for years, or she's lying now about your dad. Either way, that's pretty despicable.   

    C is your half cousin, correct?  So your dad slept with the same person that either his brother or BIL (your mom's brother) did?   

    C is not related but is now being told she is my half sister.   D and C share the same mother my uncles (fathers brother) wife (now ex wife he was the first ex)

  • image livinitup:
    Why are you even addressing these issues? Good G*d this is complicated and bizarre.

    Ummm did you not read, she contacted me telling me she was told she was my sister (half). She wants a relationship, but she is not my half sister they are lying to her.  My father did know this was being said. The main reason for them telling her is because they want to start family drama because they are mad.

  • image MallardDucky:
    image Shell24:

    Just stay out of it.  Way too messy to get involved with.  Why would you even want to be involved with people who lie like that?  Because she either lied to the other guy and collected money from him for years, or she's lying now about your dad. Either way, that's pretty despicable.   

    C is your half cousin, correct?  So your dad slept with the same person that either his brother or BIL (your mom's brother) did?   

    C is not related but is now being told she is my half sister.   D and C share the same mother my uncles (fathers brother) wife (now ex wife he was the first ex)

    Gotcha.  So your dad slept with his brother's wife (or ex-wife, whatever).  Niiice. Sorry, your whole family sounds like a group of peaches.

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    <p>
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  • image Shell24:
    image MallardDucky:
    image Shell24:

    Just stay out of it.  Way too messy to get involved with.  Why would you even want to be involved with people who lie like that?  Because she either lied to the other guy and collected money from him for years, or she's lying now about your dad. Either way, that's pretty despicable.   

    C is your half cousin, correct?  So your dad slept with the same person that either his brother or BIL (your mom's brother) did?   

    C is not related but is now being told she is my half sister.   D and C share the same mother my uncles (fathers brother) wife (now ex wife he was the first ex)

    Gotcha.  So your dad slept with his brother's wife (or ex-wife, whatever).  Niiice. Sorry, your whole family sounds like a group of peaches.

    Yeah, he makes no excuess and it was 20 years later, but he does say if he had to do it again he wouldnt.

  • image MallardDucky:

    image livinitup:
    Why are you even addressing these issues? Good G*d this is complicated and bizarre.

    Ummm did you not read, she contacted me telling me she was told she was my sister (half). She wants a relationship, but she is not my half sister they are lying to her.  My father did know this was being said. The main reason for them telling her is because they want to start family drama because they are mad.

    Which is exactly why you stay out of it. Entirely. For goodness sake, you said your father and her mother had relations but you've done the MATH and it's not possible that your father, well ...  fathered her.

    Your father will be home from work some day. And HE is the best person to address these assumptions and accusations. Not you. And certainly not you over email or facebook as a long-lost sister, with no back-up or proof. Especially when you assume it is being said to mislead and cause pain about some land-inheritance gone wrong.

    Stop addressing it. Really. Stop.

    My darling daughter just turned 4 years old.
  • image livinitup:
    image MallardDucky:

    image livinitup:
    Why are you even addressing these issues? Good G*d this is complicated and bizarre.

    Ummm did you not read, she contacted me telling me she was told she was my sister (half). She wants a relationship, but she is not my half sister they are lying to her.  My father did know this was being said. The main reason for them telling her is because they want to start family drama because they are mad.

    Which is exactly why you stay out of it. Entirely. For goodness sake, you said your father and her mother had relations but you've done the MATH and it's not possible that your father, well ...  fathered her.

    Your father will be home from work some day. And HE is the best person to address these assumptions and accusations. Not you. And certainly not you over email or facebook as a long-lost sister, with no back-up or proof. Especially when you assume it is being said to mislead and cause pain about some land-inheritance gone wrong.

    Stop addressing it. Really. Stop.

    Wow, just wow. So what should I stop, telling her that I am not her sister and to look at her own family.  Forgoodness sake (your words here) she was posting all over my facebook (my wall) that I was her long lost sister. Someone needed to set her straight before my dad can talk to her which could be a while.  I do not know how your family works but in mine we stand behind each other. Aside from my uncle and his son we are a very tight nit family and are there for each other.

    Edit the above He DID NOT know this was being said until I told him, sorry I typed that at 7am with only a few hours sleep, little one did not sleep well.

    Also C's brother is telling her not to get a blood test with my father.

  • Ditto livinitup. Stay out of this; let your dad handle his former sex life drama. 

     

    Hope is not a strategy.
  • image MallardDucky:

    Wow, just wow. So what should I stop, telling her that I am not her sister and to look at her own family.  Forgoodness sake (your words here) she was posting all over my facebook (my wall) that I was her long lost sister. Someone needed to set her straight before my dad can talk to her which could be a while.  I do not know how your family works but in mine we stand behind each other. Aside from my uncle and his son we are a very tight nit family and are there for each other.

    Edit the above He DID NOT know this was being said until I told him, sorry I typed that at 7am with only a few hours sleep, little one did not sleep well.

    Also C's brother is telling her not to get a blood test with my father.

    This is where you simply say "I don't think Facebook is the right venue to talk about this."  And if she's going on about how she's so happy to have you as a sister, why even respond to "straighten her out"?  Just leave it alone.

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