I don't want to say "help" because that makes it sound like taking care of home and baby is my job and he's just helping me. I need him to do his fair share. If I don't do it. It doesn't get done. DH supposedly takes out the trash but he only ever empties the kitchen. Not the diaper pails, bathrooms, upstairs. He supposedly mows the lawn. Obviously not now but over spring and summer. He lets it get so bad it's embarassing. He supposedly loads the dishwasher but he does it about half, leaves food in the drain and leaves the rest of the dishes that didn't fit in the dishwasher. Oh and this is after waiting a whole week to load it. I'm so exhausted. Whatever he's not doing I have to do. It's too much with a little one. I need him to do more than watch TV. I've tried joking with him, crying, being angry, nagging, not nagging, asking nicely, doing the choice thing like asking if he wants to sweep or mop. Stuff just doesn't get done and i'm at the end of my rope.
Please give me some ideas for getting DH to do work without treating him like a child. Or, is that what I have to do?
ETA: Conversations do not go well with us. He just gets really defensive and ends up turning things around on me. Like I'll never be happy and I ask for too much and he works full time and soooooorry if he needs to relax when he gets home. I work FT, too...but I digress. So since conversations go so badly, WDYT about writing him a letter? Is that high school? I feel like I'd be able to get all my thoughts out without getting off track and having my words twisted but also I wouldn't be able to make sure he understands and doesn't misinterpret. I'm just afraid he's going to interpret this as I don't love him anymore and I"ve just gone all hormonal and this marriage is over. KWIM?