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I need your opinion about a wedding...

I'm not really sure if I'm going to go, to be honest. I just go the invite today, and it's on Valentine's Day, at 5:30. DH and I wouldn't be able to have a nice supper together like we usually do....I know that's silly, but we like to do that.

And the invite said it's a reception and potluck....would you assume you are supposed to bring something? I've never attended a potluck reception.

Thanks :)

Kryssie Speaks

Last updated 4/06/11

image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
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Re: I need your opinion about a wedding...

  • I'd assume you were to bring something to a potluck.

    This is so rude on so many levels there is no way I'd attend.

    Valentine's? Potluck? Two weeks notice? Oh, hell no.

  • Two weeks notice, on a Monday, which happens to be a holiday. They aren't expecting much of a turnout.

    And yes, if you go, you bring a dish to share. Discount your gift spending appropriately (IMO).

    ExerciseMilestone
  • Um ... so not only are you given short notice (Valentine's Day is on a Monday this year, you know) but you're expected to feed yourselves?

    No.


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  • image alabaster_angel:

    I'd assume you were to bring something to a potluck.

    This is so rude on so many levels there is no way I'd attend.

    Valentine's? Potluck? Two weeks notice? Oh, hell no.

    THIS!

    [IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/t5g5j5.jpg[/IMG]
  • I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking!! They had mentioned a few months ago they were thinking of V-Day, but then I never heard any more about it and never got an invite.

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I guess.....LOL.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • image amaretto*sour:

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I think it reflects that they are cheap and want to spend zero money. I would mail an empty card. No gift.
  • image amaretto*sour:

    I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking!! They had mentioned a few months ago they were thinking of V-Day, but then I never heard any more about it and never got an invite.

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I guess.....LOL.

     

    Umm, excuse me. Graphic designers can PRINT their designs. I used one for some things in my wedding, and a co-workers H is a graphic design guy, and THEY had printed invites. Too cheap and too lazy!

    [IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/t5g5j5.jpg[/IMG]
  • This is all sorts of tacky! I'm with Ala on this one.

    Reminds me of the time we got invited to a wedding reception at a restaurant and at the end we all had our separate tabs. We didn't even get cake out of it!

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  • Or you're on their B list and they cut it too close to mail a regular invitation.

    image

    My favorite Cake Wreck ever.


  • image RevJen:
    Or you're on their B list and they cut it too close to mail a regular invitation.

    Yes

    That very well could be....no wonder they had to go to the B list...they might end up going to a C list...

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • It's up to you. I'd at least send a check for $30-50. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with doing a wedding on V-day, potluck, last minute. If you don't want to go, don't go. If you want to go, go. As for V-day dinner with hubby, you could do that another night. Or just don't go. Up to you.

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  • image alabaster_angel:
    image amaretto*sour:

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I think it reflects that they are cheap and want to spend zero money. I would mail an empty card. No gift.

     

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. For a married couple just beginning their lives, they shouldn't be spending tons of money on other people. At my wedding I paid for people to have good food (but there were only 50 people total), but not everyone can afford that. I guess I think you're supposed to give the newlyweds some $ to start things off, and I don't think the couple getting married owes their guests anything. That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

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  • image Bathlove:

    As for V-day dinner with hubby, you could do that another night.

    That would just be.. dinner.
  • image Bathlove:

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. 

    If you need to be that cheap - you're not having a wedding. You're having a potluck. (Which I would still give more than two weeks notice for, not have on a holiday, and not have on a weekday.)

    image Bathlove:

    That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

    I certainly hope so.

     

     

  • image Bathlove:
    image alabaster_angel:
    image amaretto*sour:

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I think it reflects that they are cheap and want to spend zero money. I would mail an empty card. No gift.

     

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. For a married couple just beginning their lives, they shouldn't be spending tons of money on other people. At my wedding I paid for people to have good food (but there were only 50 people total), but not everyone can afford that. I guess I think you're supposed to give the newlyweds some $ to start things off, and I don't think the couple getting married owes their guests anything. That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

    The way I saw my reception when we got married was that I was the host of the party.  I invited my guests to come and share in my happiness so it was up to me to provide the refreshments.  We did a brunch reception because it's what we could afford.  I wouldn't have asked guests to bring their own food if we'd had a backyard reception.  I would have cooked or provided catering. 

    If I couldn't have afforded a reception, I would have just done the JOP and invited a select few out to dinner. 


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    My favorite Cake Wreck ever.


  • image Bathlove:
      

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. For a married couple just beginning their lives, they shouldn't be spending tons of money on other people. At my wedding I paid for people to have good food (but there were only 50 people total), but not everyone can afford that. I guess I think you're supposed to give the newlyweds some $ to start things off, and I don't think the couple getting married owes their guests anything. That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

     

    No one said you need to have a big reception to get married. If they can't afford to pay for the reception, then they really shouldn't have one.

    image
  • image RevJen:
    image Bathlove:
    image alabaster_angel:
    image amaretto*sour:

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I think it reflects that they are cheap and want to spend zero money. I would mail an empty card. No gift.

     

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. For a married couple just beginning their lives, they shouldn't be spending tons of money on other people. At my wedding I paid for people to have good food (but there were only 50 people total), but not everyone can afford that. I guess I think you're supposed to give the newlyweds some $ to start things off, and I don't think the couple getting married owes their guests anything. That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

    The way I saw my reception when we got married was that I was the host of the party.  I invited my guests to come and share in my happiness so it was up to me to provide the refreshments.  We did a brunch reception because it's what we could afford.  I wouldn't have asked guests to bring their own food if we'd had a backyard reception.  I would have cooked or provided catering. 

    If I couldn't have afforded a reception, I would have just done the JOP and invited a select few out to dinner. 

    Rev is very wise. We were the host of the party.

    Guests should never be expected to bring anything. That is just plain rude.

    If they can't afford it, then don't have one. Send a nice "email" announcement saying that they are married.

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  • It's not a requirement to have a reception.  If you can't afford it, you can't afford it.  I think many fewer people would judge them for not having a reception at all than having a potluck recepiton.

    And please, unless these are 18 year old kids who have never provided for themselves (which is a whole 'nother issue), I'd hope that they're not expecting my cash to help them "get started" on their life together.  Get a fvcking job and pay for your own life together.

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  • image Bathlove:
    image alabaster_angel:
    image amaretto*sour:

    Oh, and they emailed me the invitation. Their reasoning was because they are graphic designers and their invites should reflect that.

     

    I think it reflects that they are cheap and want to spend zero money. I would mail an empty card. No gift.

     

    Not trying to be rude, but what the heck is wrong with being cheap. For a married couple just beginning their lives, they shouldn't be spending tons of money on other people. At my wedding I paid for people to have good food (but there were only 50 people total), but not everyone can afford that. I guess I think you're supposed to give the newlyweds some $ to start things off, and I don't think the couple getting married owes their guests anything. That being said, I'm sure I'm in the minority on that. 

     

    I really disagree with this. Guests give you money or gifts, and the couple says "thank you" in part by being a good host. Assuming the "We don't owe you anything, but oh yea, bring cash or gifts" thing would SERIOUSLY bother me. It's rude not to bring a gift, just like it's rude to plan a wedding on a holdiday, giving two weeks notice.

    Having said that, a low budget wedding and a cheap wedding, are to VERY different things!

    [IMG]http://i56.tinypic.com/t5g5j5.jpg[/IMG]
  • image alabaster_angel:

    I'd assume you were to bring something to a potluck.

    This is so rude on so many levels there is no way I'd attend.

    Valentine's? Potluck? Two weeks notice? Oh, hell no.

    Yup, so that lovely dinner you plan on making. . .make enough for like 150 people. Valentine's day. . . no offense to anyone but it is a little tacky. You found out about this 2 weeks ago.

     

    You can go if you really want but I would be RSVP'ing no. That is just poor taste.

  • This sounds like a hot mess. I would definitely not go. If it's a good friend I'd maybe send a gift. But I'm guessing that's not the case.

    Weddings on/near holidays annoy the crap out of me. With or without notice. And bring my own food?! No. Just no.

    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/x1lefq.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i44.tinypic.com/4vi7aw.jpg[/IMG]



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  • I say absolutely not.  I am for the argument that if you can't afford a reception, then don't have one.  I look fonder on a couple that doesn't have a reception than one who throws one together and makes the guests pay.  This is just plain wrong. 
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  • Wow, so many responses!

    Well, I didn't want this to be a factor, but I'll toss it out anyways:

    This couple is in their late 40's. So they aren't a couple in their 20's just starting out...and I wouldn't expect a couple in their 40's to expect people to bring food to their reception like that.

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • Yah, I would not be attending that. How tacky to have a potluck for a wedding reception.
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  • image amaretto*sour:

    Wow, so many responses!

    Well, I didn't want this to be a factor, but I'll toss it out anyways:

    This couple is in their late 40's. So they aren't a couple in their 20's just starting out...and I wouldn't expect a couple in their 40's to expect people to bring food to their reception like that.

    Not only would I not go, I wouldn't send a gift either.  They're old enough to know better.  They're just being cheap.


    image

    My favorite Cake Wreck ever.


  • image RevJen:

    Not only would I not go, I wouldn't send a gift either.  They're old enough to know better.  They're just being cheap.

    This is what I was thinking as well, but I wanted to be sure I wasn't being a jerk :)

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • image Bride45:
    One word ELOPE

    Yes 

    Kryssie Speaks

    Last updated 4/06/11

    image Snortlemonster: Amaretto's siggy says: I'M A BLOGGER, BUT I'M NOT GOING TO FORCE-FEED IT TO YOU. And I have a secret life. And a sense of humor. And I am in charge. Sort of.
  • ::walks into post::

    Indifferent 

    ::runs out of post::

  • image jadeorchid21:

    Valentine's day. . . no offense to anyone but it is a little tacky.

    Oh no she didn't!  You're now on my list, jade!  :)

    Just so we're clear, I had a beautiful morning wedding and luncheon reception so that everyone could enjoy their own Valentine's Day dinner.  We had a catered lunch with heavy apps, great wines- no potluck. 

    I think a lot of people think that we got married on Valentine's Day because we're cheesy- it was actually because DH's grandparents got married and my grandparents got engaged on that day- both couples were together for decades.  We chose that day shortly after DH's grandmother passed away- we did it as a memorial to her.

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