Sex & Romance
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Bleeding During Sex and Advice Needed

I have had sex twice now with my new BF (only one other partner in the past) and both times I bleed all over the bed.  Could this just be because I'm not very experienced?  I am very tight, but we try to go very slow and gentle and make sure I'm pretty well lubed before he goes in.   I've been tested for STD's so I'm pretty sure that's not the issue. 

 Also, I feel really bed, because the sex is amazing, but I have not had an orgasm yet.  I think it hurts his feelings and feels like he doesn't turn me on or that I'm not attracted to him/his body.  I have tried to reassure him that just because I didn't orgasm, it doesn't mean he's not good in bed.  What can I say or do to tell/show him that it has nothing to do with his ability to please me?

TIA for any advice/tips!!  You ladies always have such great advice!

Re: Bleeding During Sex and Advice Needed

  • It could be a number of things- I had this issue and it turned out to be cervical ectropion. When he was hitting my cervix, it was making it bleed. I would definitely get it checked by a doctor because only they will be able to tell you exactly what's going on.
  • This doesn't sound normal.

     I don't think it is a partially intact hymen.

     See a doc and tell him or her what's going on.

    Want to orgasm? Try masturbation; I am guessing you've never done it. Then show him what turns you on.:)

  • I would agree with PP's and say get it checked out by a doctor... doesn't seem normal.

    Also, I would think your BF would be concerned about your bleeding all over the bed instead getting pouty that you haven't orgasmed...

  • Thank you, ladies, for your input.

     I went to the doctor today and she said it's most likely residual bleeding from my Mirena.  But, she took some samples and blood work to make sure it's nothing more serious.  

    Now, about the orgasm issue.....

  • Not all women orgasm from vaginal sex. Some only from oral and/or masturbation. Still others are never able to orgasm. Does your BF know this? So you figure out what makes you orgasm and show him.
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  • I agree, a lot of women can't orgasm with vaginal sex alone, including me.  In a playful way, show him what feels best so he won't feel bad and so you can get what works for you!

     To revisit the bleeding, the same thing happened to me after years of sex with my now hubby.  One day, it just started happening and continued for a while.  The doctor did an endoscopy where they use a camera to see what's going on down there and he said everything was fine.  Just make sure you use enough and maybe the right kind of lubricant for you and enough "play time" first so you are aren't at risk for tearing anything...

  • image chrispoi:

    Also, I would think your BF would be concerned about your bleeding all over the bed instead getting pouty that you haven't orgasmed...

     

    Please don't get me wrong...the first thing he said was "Baby, are you ok cause there was a lot of blood?  Are you sure you're ok?" He just feels like I don't find him attractive since I haven't orgasmed.  He keeps saying, "I'm sorry I don't turn you on" or "I'm sorry you don't find me attractive" etc. 

    I just want to reassure him that my orgasm (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with him and the way he makes me feel.  I tell him that every time, but you know, since men are visual, I just wish he could "see" that he really does turn me on and I do find him attractive. 

     To be honest, I don't know that I've ever "orgasmed" even during self-pleasure.  Thank you all for the input and suggestions!

  • yes, I can see what you mean about wanting him to know that he does turn you on even if you don't orgasm.  It's hard with men because when talking with their buddies, a lot of times they tell these elaborate sex stories, or watch these crazy movies where woman are orgasming so easily.  It's not reality and maybe if he knew what's real, he wouldn't feel bad about his performance.  Maybe you can share with him some information on how few woman actually orgasm with sex alone or something like that.

     As for not knowing if you've ever orgasmed, I say feel free to play around when you're alone and experiment.  It's totally natural!  Definitely get to know your body and once you find something you like, introduce it with your man! 

  • image Memgrl:
    image chrispoi:

    Also, I would think your BF would be concerned about your bleeding all over the bed instead getting pouty that you haven't orgasmed...

     

    Please don't get me wrong...the first thing he said was "Baby, are you ok cause there was a lot of blood?  Are you sure you're ok?" He just feels like I don't find him attractive since I haven't orgasmed.  He keeps saying, "I'm sorry I don't turn you on" or "I'm sorry you don't find me attractive" etc. 

    I just want to reassure him that my orgasm (or lack thereof) has nothing to do with him and the way he makes me feel.  I tell him that every time, but you know, since men are visual, I just wish he could "see" that he really does turn me on and I do find him attractive. 

     To be honest, I don't know that I've ever "orgasmed" even during self-pleasure.  Thank you all for the input and suggestions!

    You've just started having sex.  I don't know anyone has orgasms right away from intercourse alone.  It takes time to figure out what works for you.  I'd suggest masturbating alone, like Tarpon said.  Use the masturbation to learn about your body.  For many women, stimulating the clitoris is the only way to orgasm..so you need to know where that is!  Once you figure out what gets you off, then you can show him.  Then you can try other ways to have an orgasm too. 

    Personally, when I have an orgasm, there's no mistaking what it is.  If you're not sure if you've had one, I'd be willing to bet that you haven't had one yet. 

    Finally, neither of you need to take this personally.  You guys are completely normal.  It takes time to learn what you like and practice makes perfect.  Just don't get so caught up in having an orgasm that you don't enjoy the whole experience of sex.

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