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Re: Fenton

  • Pretty much the same sh!t, different day.

    More indecision, time-buying tactics, focusing on a handful of minor gripes and "what if I'm never happy?" obsession. I texted him last night that if he doesn't love me and doesn't like me, why is he dragging it out. He responded with something like, "Why are you asking me this?" and I said I'm just confused why he's bothering since he doesn't seem to like me as a person. Then he asked who I'd been talking to (implying someone put this idea in my head). I said, No one, but I want to feel like the person I'm with appreciates me and most of our conversations give me the idea he's just been tolerating me. Or at least trying to figure out if he can tolerate me enough to continue the marriage.

    We have hung out and we were friendly, and he seemed to think that was what was needed. I strongly disagree. Just being friendly involves zero effort on his part to change patterns and behavior that led to this, and doesn't require him to say how he feels or commit to anything.

    I think at this point, I'm going to withdraw and wait it out. His very awesome brother has been in touch with me and has let me know his dad is starting to put on the pressure to figure something out and told him that he can't stay there indefinitely. I think it's going to end, and if he can't change then I want it to. I'm pretty close to just ending it myself. Not quite yet, but almost.

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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • Has he ever started seeing a therapist?
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  • Good luck Fent, it sounds like a cruddy situation all around.

    I remember you saying something about your nieces. I was 10 when my Aunt and Uncle divorced. I was really close with my Aunt and my parents made sure my relationship with her continued. To this day I am closer with her then him (I love him and he is my blood we just always were connected). It sounds like his family would work to make you apart of their life. I now FB with her all the time.  Sorry for the randomness...

  • image FallinAgain:
    Has he ever started seeing a therapist?

    No, I don't know if he would or not. I didn't push it since he really hasn't shown much commitment to making it work anyway. If he ever did swing back around, I would want him to talk to someone before completely reconciling. 

    Aliza, thanks, that's reassuring. I hope it works out that way for me, too.

    ETA: Also, if things do somehow work out, just a heads up that I would probably give fewer and more vague updates, for awhile at least. I only posted about this when I thought we were definitely getting the divorce anyway. I'm happy to air my past dirty laundry, but if we stay together, I don't think it's appropriate. Just so you all don't call me a hippo-crate later on if things change!

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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • TSDTSD member

    Fenton- maybe you should bang his brother.

    I agree on the vague updates if you get back together. No one needs to be in a fishbowl or feel judged when going through this sh*t. It sucks, it's a long hard road no matter which you take and I give you credit for airing your laundry at all.

    Remember...I can still probably get you on Millionaire Matchmaker though.

  • image TSD:

    Fenton- maybe you should bang his brother.

    EW! No.

    a) he's like my own brother and b) he's married with children.  Wrong, wrong, wrong!

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    "As of page 2 this might be the most boring argument ever. It's making me long for Rape Day." - Mouse
  • Does this mean I don't get to air your dirty laundry? Cause it's sort of why I hang out with you.
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  • Always feel free to tell me to mind my own bee's wax.

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  • I would totally respect you getting vague if things worked out. I have all the info I need for the ..fenton.. bio anyway.
  • image _Fenton:

    ETA: Also, if things do somehow work out, just a heads up that I would probably give fewer and more vague updates, for awhile at least. I only posted about this when I thought we were definitely getting the divorce anyway. I'm happy to air my past dirty laundry, but if we stay together, I don't think it's appropriate. Just so you all don't call me a hippo-crate later on if things change!

    It is totally commendable that you are putting work into this.  He clearly has a strong family and it just seems (at least from what I am reading) that he is just going through some sort of quarter/mid life crisis.  If he manages to pull his head out of his a$$, and if you can find it in your power to forgive him for it all, there is nothing to put you in the hippo-crate over.

    Now, if you told us he spent your time apart hanging out with hookers, doing blow, and stealing from your parents to make a little extra money, then you might get a bit of the side-eye from me.

    Side note - I have had this page open for a long time.  If I post, and somebody else says something similar, I did not intend to copy them.  I just keep posting the exact same thing as other people today, only 2 minutes later.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
  • Even though our situations are different, I think Twan and Brian are reading out of the same play book.  His favorite thing to do is to try to act friendly and normal while avoiding any actual meaningful conversation about our relationship. 

    I think they would both like to be able to look into a crystal ball to see their future before making a decision. 

  • You can probably guess how I feel about the hippocrating.

    Just in case it's not clear, though, you certainly don't owe us anything because you've told us some things.

    image

    Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
  • It's really not the same situation Vicki. I mean, Brian's white. I think this is a cultural thing.
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  • image ChristinS:
    It's really not the same situation Vicki. I mean, Brian's white. I think this is a cultural thing.

    Love. There's only you in my life...the only thing that's right.

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    I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
  • Good point, Christin.  Not to mention that Twan is a middle aged woman who needs to "find herself" by running off to Arizona and making and selling pottery to tourists.
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    "That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton

  • image ChristinS:
    It's really not the same situation Vicki. I mean, Brian's white. I think this is a cultural thing.

    But Twan's not Asian. You said so yourself. 

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  • His penis is Asian.
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  • well that could be a reason to end the mattiage right there
  • There's nothing wrong with selling pottery.

     

     

    image salimoo:

    Just in case it's not clear, though, you certainly don't owe us anything because you've told us some things.

    You certainly don't owe us anything, especially details or even an explanation. But it'd be really nice to know what decision is made because we're all concerned about you. It just comes across as wanting to be up in your business.

    Not that your business isn't awesome and people shouldn't want to be up in it.

    image

    "The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab

    Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
  • How often do you guys talk and see eachother right now?
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