I have been having panic attacks over the past couple of weeks because of all the craziness happening in my family. What's worse is that this is following a tragedy, which just adds to my stress.
In late October, my grandfather passed away. He was the patriarch of my small, Sicilian family. My grandmother is devastated, and doesn't even speak English, so she is dependent upon my mother and uncle to take care of her. Well...unfortunately Mom and Uncle don't get along AT ALL. There has been nothing but severe fighting ever since. My grandmother, my aunt (Uncle's wife) and I have been caught in the crossfire. There are things that need to be taken care of...2 houses, and some money. Well, sharing the responsibilities didn't seem to go smoothly, and after some horrible fights, my uncle has washed his hands of the situation. He's leaving all the bills/responsibilities to my mom, who is disabled and doesn't have a partner to help her. She just has me, and I have my own life (I'm engaged, work full time, don't live all that close). The problem is we still need him for certain things and he's just not cooperating. He won't even be in the same ROOM as my mother.
This has left me in the role as "the messenger" and I've been having to relay stuff between my mom and uncle. Just this week alone, I had 3 fights with him and 2 fights with her. MY OPINION is that they just split things again, and share the responsibility, and try to make peace. Cause honestly, houses and money aren't worth breaking a family over. I would much rather just have my family back to normal. It seems like the harder I try to push for peace, the worse the fights get between me and them. Each one thinks I'm taking the other's side, when honestly I'm NEUTRAL.
This is becoming so bad that I can't concentrate at work. I talk about it nonstop to friends and my fiance. I dont' want it to ruin my life, but I feel like I'm the only one who will even TRY to fix it. My aunt wants to stay out of it (she says she's not blood so she doesn't want to get involved) and my grandmother is busy mourning the loss of her partner of 60 years.
Is it time for me to just step aside and let these "adults" handle it themselves? I just fear more fighting and stress for my grandmother. I also feel like I'm losing a lot of respect for both my mom and uncle and I don't want to see them in that light. But they arent making it easy when they act like children over this. They each don't trust the other and it's all so stupid. I'm considering talking to a priest or something because I can't handle this stress anymore. And there is NO relief in sight.