Sex & Romance
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A romantic goofball

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Re: A romantic goofball

  •                
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
    1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
    TTC #1 since 6.10
    SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
    HSG= All clear & perfect
    Currently learning to live Child Free
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    ?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?Follow Me on Pinterest
    CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
    ?Big Girls have babies too!?
    ??Success/pregnant after everything welcome - FHs need not apply??
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
    1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
    TTC #1 since 6.10
    SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
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    Currently learning to live Child Free
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    ?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?Follow Me on Pinterest
    CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
    1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
    TTC #1 since 6.10
    SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
    HSG= All clear & perfect
    Currently learning to live Child Free
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    ?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?Follow Me on Pinterest
    CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
    1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
    TTC #1 since 6.10
    SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
    HSG= All clear & perfect
    Currently learning to live Child Free
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    ?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?Follow Me on Pinterest
    CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
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    ??? TTCAL Buddies w/ BabyTrippin & CashewsMommy ???
    1st BFP = m/c 4.21.08 @ 7W5D (and divorce)
    TTC #1 since 6.10
    SA #1=Agglutination SA #2= Everything perfect
    HSG= All clear & perfect
    Currently learning to live Child Free
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    ?My NTNP Chart! ?My Blog!?Follow Me on Pinterest
    CLICK to give care & food to animals in need -
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  • It's the little things with my fiance. Awhile ago I was hospitalized and whenever he could be there with me he was, if he could sleep there he would. Since then he's taken the time to understand my condition and doesnt pressure me to do the laundry or the dishes or clean up when I feel icky. He rubs my feet after work and rubs my back at night before bed. He also hears that I'm having a bad day and takes the time to pick up a movie or a card or some flowers to cheer me up. He takes the time to listen to me complaign about my disease or the problems at work. Hes an amazing man :) I dont know if I could stay sane without him.
  • Girl, i am not sure there is any hope for you having a romantic husband...I have tried for the 4 years that we have been together to try and have him do something romantic for me. NOT once has he done anything, planned anything, said anything. Our proposal wasnt romantic, he has never planned a birthday for me, never a candle light dinner, nothing. We have legit gotten into FIGHTS about it, I have googled him ideas, and PRINTED them out, to give to him. NOTHING. Sometimes, it's a lost cause. So I am the one that institutes date night, and does romantic things, so then I don't get disappointed, but I still get to enjoy it. 
  • WOW... that sounds so much like my man, I could have written that!

    We have been together for 8 years, and are 24/25.  He is ALWAYS in goofball mode... on the rare occasion that he does try to be romantic, it comes off as patronizing, or like he isn't being serious.  I've kind of just learned to accept it, I do belive he is trying to be romantic in his own special goofy way (like when he gave me my ring... in a glass of kool-aide!)  He is cute, and although it isn't quite what I want sometimes, it is why I fell in love with him :)  Good luck... maybe one day they will learn :) <3

  • My husband is very similar. When I ask for romance I usually get awkward goofiness in return (think over the top sexy face and slobbery kisses). He's not very good at the stereotypical gestures, but then again, I don't think most men outside of the movies are. I say go ahead and make it clear you enjoy romantic gestures, but don't get upset if they don't happen on a regular basis. Instead look for the smaller gestures that let you know he cares. Like when he makes a point of buying your favorite cheese at the store, or calls to make sure you got somewhere safely, etc. Then you'll appreciate the gestures he does make, and hopefully it will sink in that you'd really appreciate a more overt gesture now and again, and he'll actually act on it. My husband isn't big on flowers, but when a friend was very mean to me a couple of months ago and I called him upset he rushed to my office with flowers and hugs to make me feel better. I doubt he would have thought to buy flowers if I hadn't mentioned in the past that I like getting flowers, which is why I think it's important to every so often remind him that you'd appreciate gestures like that, so he thinks to do them once in a while.
  • "Men need direct approach, they don't get hints."

     

    I think this sort of sells men short though, doesn't it? I mean, there's like this assumption that men need people to spell everything out for them, but being a man does not make a person a child.

     

    As well, illegitimizing the experiences or preferences of another person just because some men who are "romantic" use it as a cover for cheating is rude. Maybe you should focus more on letting your sister know that her husband is cheating or learning how to check your own tires, rather than judging others for desiring something more from their relationship.

    Esset. 20. Intersectional feminist, vegan wannabe chef, ukulele player extraordinaire.
  • Honestly, not everyone views romance in the same way. But, have you considered talking to him about planned romance? I know it sounds a little silly, but hear me out-

    start with once a month, a real, honestly romantic date. It's a bit difficult to get into the idea of romance when you're not comfortable or familiar with it. This would let him touch his toes in the romantic waters without having to jump into a new and potentially awkward situation all at once.

     These sorts of things take baby steps, and, unfortunately, our society teaches men that romance / love / the ability to be nurturing / etc are all things worth making fun of, thus, they are "wrong." So, expecting a 2-day turnaround isn't going to happen. But if you work WITH him, instead of giving him a few orders, I think you'll find that he wills lowly become more receptive to it, and it will be more genuine. =]

     

    (My partner had major issues just with holding hands, and it took work. Have you discussed with him why he has these issues with romance?) 

    Esset. 20. Intersectional feminist, vegan wannabe chef, ukulele player extraordinaire.
  • You can't MAKE someone or TELL someone to be romantic. I've had to find this out...umm that kind of takes the romance out of it.

    Sometimes there has to be a compromise. I had to lessen my expectations for what I felt was "romance". They do their own things when they can, but men are emotional creatures too. They don't always feel like doing something spectacular, just like yesterday I didn't feel like even making a fresh batch of kool aid for him to have after work :P.

    And that's all okay, cuz we give each other a little room to wiggle.

    But thats just my view. 

  • His romance is different than yours!  To my DH, opening doors, cleaning the kitchen, getting plain yogurt instead of vanilla, are romantic gestures!  Because to him, romance is about taking care of his woman and making sure she is satisfied, not about hot air balloons and flowers to the work place.  Point being, your views on romance are different.  Keep up your romantic gestures, if something comes to mind that you would like him to do, do it for him, and when you see him making his masculine romantic gestures thank and appreciate him.  Stop the hints and ask honestly and specifically.  If you want to take a bubble bath with him and some wine, tell him what, when and where!  Want him to text you throughout the day ask him and send him lots of text messages!
    SpotlightSpotlightSpotlight
    I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker
  • I had the same view of things and it also bothered me until I was told the same advice from a guy friend and it's true. I looked around and I noticed thoughtful things that he was doing that were maiking it easier for me, safer...buying me contacts, tires, setting up a record player and organizing my records for me ( not what woman see AT ALL as romantic) But now I realize that to him that's whats romantic!
  • My husband is TERRIBLE at hints, so here's what I do.  I made a list (a rather long one) of things that I consider "romantic": buying me flowers, leaving a note in my lunch box, bringing me a box of chocolates at work, etc.  I asked him to do one thing every couple of months, and in return I verbally appreciate (it's his Love Language) all the little things he does for me like take out the trash or empty the dishwasher.

     

    For me, even knowing it's going to be one of the things that I asked for is worth it to see him make the effort to do it.

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