SIL, engaged, posted her wedding date on facebook. So I write back "So excited! Cannot wait for this special day!"
Talked to SIL's mom last night and she tells me that SIL said that I responded, "I'll be there!", leaving out my husband. Then went on to say things that made it somewhat of a big deal that I 1) wouldn't mention my husband and 2) have dragged my husband to enough weddings which he clearly doesn't have interest in going to that of course I would be bringing him to SIL's wedding.
1) SIL is incorrect
2) why call me out, even if I did write that?
3) I don't think my reply could have been anymore appropriate or sweet!
Is this how this engagement is going to be? Let's look for ways to dig SunandRain?
I am *very* aware that this is SIL's day and is about her and I'm nothing but supportive and appropriately interested. I don't push SIL for details but write back showing my interest and support when she shares any news. I asked her mom how the dress shopping was and gushed that SIL is going to be so beautiful... Yes, I sounded genuine because...well...I am. I don't overdo it.
SIL has a thing about weddings and always insisted she wasn't going to have one - just a party where she happened to get married during the middle. Now she is going the more traditional route and some people are surprised. I'm not. I get how exciting it is to be engaged and how important it can be for some brides to have their friends and family around.
This isn't the first time she made comments. At my wedding I lost my temper to my mom and I'll always feel terrible about it. SIL continued to bring the incident up to me for years. No one else ever mentioned it - not once.
Incidentally she was a BM in my wedding. I chose DH's sisters over my friends because I wanted to start off on the right foot with my new family and attempt to send the message that they were important to me. SIL's mother took notice of this and it meant a lot to her. SIL even cried when I asked her because she was so touched. All I asked was that they buy the dress and show up; that is what they did (i.e. no showers) and I was fully appreciative.
I support her 100%. Maintaining a good relationship with my ILs is extremely important to me. But I really don't care to be on the receiving end of these digs any longer. Any suggestions for what I might say??