Sorry this is long but I wanted to give some background so hopefully someone can help.
I'm 28 with 2 kids and I've always had to work hard to stay small (and by small I mean around a size 8 or 10. The smallest I've ever been was high school when I was a 4 or 6 but I had an eating disorder). After my first son I lost 55-60 lbs within 7 months by working out and eating right. After son #2 I haven't been able to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and he just turned 2. I got down to around 5 lbs from my pre-pregnancy weight with him last Dec and then gained 5 back from Dec-May. I stayed at this weight even though I was counting calories (sparkpeople) and working out almost daily. Since late May I have gained almost 20 lbs. I haven't been counting my calories since May but I do eat healthy almost all the time (grilled chicken/fish, veggies, lots of water, limited fast food/sugar/fried foods, etc). I also got upset with myself to the point where I stopped working out about a month ago (I've gained about 5 lbs since then so yeah great idea I know). I went to the dr. to get my thyroid checked and a few other things, but all they found was a Vitamin D deficiency. I've started suppliments and do have a little more energy, but I feel fat and nasty and need to lose weight. This is the largest I've ever been (except when pregnant) and I'm not happy with myself. I was within 15 lbs of my goal weight but now I'm 35 lbs away. I've vowed to start exercising again (walking, elliptical, or workout videos), but I need help with food. Clearly counting calories wasn't working b/c I was still at least 15 lbs away (I had around 5 lbs of pregnancy weight and then wanted to lose another 5-10) from a good/healthy weight and I wasn't losing anymore. I don't really want to give up carbs (I already eat whole grains and stay away from processed foods) b/c I don't think I could do it for forever and I would just gain weight back. One of my friends suggested Weight Watchers, but we don't have the money right now for me to join and isn't this similar to counting calories? Anyway any suggestions on what might be going on with my body and what I can do?
A little bit more info. Here is a sample menu of what I eat:
Breakfast-oatmeal, egg beaters w/turkey bacon, or greek yogurt w/honey
Lunch-boca burger on whole wheat bun, turkey sandwich on wheat, salad w/low fat dressing
Snack-almonds, greek yogurt, fruit, or low fat cottage cheese w/fruit
Dinner-grilled chicken/fish/pork/ground turkey, veggies, brown rice, sweet potatoes, etc
When I was doing sparkpeople I was almost always within my calories/fat/carbs but if I wasn't then I was on the low side. I also drink a lot of water every day and only drink soda on rare occasion. I stay away from sweets and normally on drink alcohol on the weekends but I don't binge or anything (and I always added this in when I was counting calories).
Thanks for any help!