I may get flamed, but I am looking to see what ppl think.
About 8 years ago, my grandmother started having health problems. Honestly it looked like she wasn't going to live very long. At that time I was able to help out a lot (I had no kids, wasn't married)......help out meaning check on her, take her places. My uncle decided to take her in (thinking it wouldn't be too long and saying as much).
FF to now. Grandmother is still living but over the years has gradually gotten to this point: In and out of hospitals/rehabs. She has fallen, had strokes, has bathroom issues, cancer and most recently a kidney infection and dementia. About a year ago my uncle decided that she couldn't/shouldn't be alone (even though docs were saying it even before that.) He told my mother she either needed to take a leave of absence from work and his wife was going to work from home when she could. He was originally going to retire, but didn't. Not sure why.
Now she is in a rehab center b/c of a kidney infection. My uncle has mandated someone be there at all mealtimes. This meant that my mother could not come with us this weekend (we are at a festival in WW.)
The other thing is that, when my mother is "on duty" and wants to do something, I am asked to go over and help. This was fine when I had no responsibilities, but that isn't the case now. Sometimes I have to take my kids. My fear is that god forbid something would happen......my g-ma cannot get around or eat or use the bathroom on her own.
Am I crazy thinking that this arrangement is not working? Am I a selfish for missing my own mother? Are nursing homes really that bad?
p.s. It is terrible watching her suffer. I think we all wish the Lord would take her:(
I may delete this later I am warning you.