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My in-laws hate me...

My husband and I recently moved to california for my job opportunity. We are getting used to everything out here and starting to like it. However, his parents are so upset that we left our home (close to them) for my career.  I just don't know what to say anymore - I didn't realize that when i was marrying him they thought we were always going to be a few minutes away. The pressure they are putting on him is taking its toll on us - I'm not sure how to handle it...

Re: My in-laws hate me...

  • what does your husband say about it?  sounds like he needs to talk to his parents.  maybe you could fly them out to visit or something.
    merry everything!
  • I agree with ssinca. I went through the same thing with XH when we moved across the country from his family. Give it a little while to be completely settled and know your way around. Then have them visit. A lot of the drama went away once they saw we were okay and happy in the new place on our own. It seemed the pressure etc. came from the uncertainty and not being there as a support system. Once they saw we were okay without that and were happy it got a lot easier...After all most parents just want to see their kids happy and well adjusted no matter how old they are.

     Just my thoughts/experiences....Hope it helps! 

  • I know what you're going through to an extent. 

    We just moved out here this year as well, and ever since that move, my DH's mom has been sickeningly sweet and overbearing, and trying to make plans for us to come back to Texas. 

     Which we aren't.  They've hinted that I'm a yankee (I'm from the midwest... that's yankee to them... lol), and I've been pressured by his father and brother and everyone else. 

    Have you talked to your husband?  It was kind of like the elephant in the room for us.  I knew he loved his family and would've liked to move back by them someday, and he knew that I found his mom extremely annoying and plan on going into a career that will likely keep us on the coast. 

    We tiptoed around talking about it for a long time...  But when we finally did, it felt so good because we both agreed that no matter what his parents thought, it didn't matter.  The most important thing is OUR family, and we will live wherever we see fit.  :) 

  • Congratulations!!  Enjoy your new hometown with your husband where you two can start your very own familly traditions.  This is a very exciting time for you two!  Rejoyce with those who are cheering for you.  Remind your in-laws that you love them and never had any intentions to hurt them.  Tell them how you and your husband are starting new adventures together and hope they can share this excitement with you. Keep them posted on your new life style, friendships and activities.  This would make them a huge part of what you two are doing.  But if they choose not to share in your excitment and be upset, then let them. You chose what is best for you and your husband.  Enjoy it!  And surround youself with those who can enjoy it with you. Smile
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