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Pet ?

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Re: Pet ?

  • I think it's totally fair to say no.  My husband and I just got a dog with CRAZY seperation anxiety and we make arrangements whenever we go some place - even if the other person has a dog.  It's not your job to host your MIL and her dog.  I think it's good to set boundaries. 
  • You're right in telling her no.  It's your house.  You are the hostess.  She should respect your wishes.

    The same thing goes with Thanksgiving.  She is your guest.  You let her know the pet policy.  She should be respectful of your wishes.

    Stay strong.  Don't let her push you around.

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  • You can tell her no. I would never assume my dog is invited somewhere. I always wait for an invite. If she isn't invited and we are comfortable enough to ask (like MIL or my parents) we would ask, but otherwise, we'd just make other arrangements for her.

    Having a no pet policy is a no brainer, really...

     

  • Your house, your rules. I'd say you are not wrong for telling her no. Especially on the rented house for Thanksgiving. It has a no pet policy, and folks are allergic to pet dander. It would be horribly unfair even to the dog who would have to be kenneled and kept apart from the area the allergic people will be in. That's ridiculous that she thinks the dog's love will cure the allergic reactions.

    You are not wrong for saying no dog in your house at this time. You are allergic. You have new furniture and the pup is in chewing stage. Bad timing for right now. The dog could wear booties to prevent scratches on the floor but I doubt MIL is going to be able to prevent the lil love from nibbling on the leather. Crating the pup for as long as she would have to is grossly unfair to the pup.

    Any responsible pet owner will ask up front if the host includes the pet in the invite. Then graciously understands when told no pets allowed.

    DH's mother, so HE gets to tell her no when she insists the dog comes too.

  • No, you're not wrong. My MIL and FIL have a dog that they adore and usually when they go to their other son's home, out of state, they take the dog along. I, however, won't allow the dog in my house. Not only do we have cats, but he's a hyper fellow and I don't want him on our carpets. He's a cutie, don't get me wrong, but my thinking is, "it's our house, we decide who we invite in, and the dog's a no." Rather simple, really.

    If your MIL refuses to come without the dog, tell her you'll be happy to meet her elsewhere. Or if she lives out of state and for her, coming to visit would require a long drive or a flight, see if you can find a boarding house/kennel in your area, so she can still bring the dog and have him around, but have it be more like a "doggie hotel" situation for her in that he won't be in your house. But if you do that, make sure it's crystal clear to her that the dog won't be entering your house. She can take him on walks to the local parks or whatever, but not your home. If you feel she can respect that, then that might be a good alternative.

  • image JoEsther:

    No, you're not wrong. My MIL and FIL have a dog that they adore and usually when they go to their other son's home, out of state, they take the dog along. I, however, won't allow the dog in my house. Not only do we have cats, but he's a hyper fellow and I don't want him on our carpets. He's a cutie, don't get me wrong, but my thinking is, "it's our house, we decide who we invite in, and the dog's a no." Rather simple, really.

    If your MIL refuses to come without the dog, tell her you'll be happy to meet her elsewhere. Or if she lives out of state and for her, coming to visit would require a long drive or a flight, see if you can find a boarding house/kennel in your area, so she can still bring the dog and have him around, but have it be more like a "doggie hotel" situation for her in that he won't be in your house. But if you do that, make sure it's crystal clear to her that the dog won't be entering your house. She can take him on walks to the local parks or whatever, but not your home. If you feel she can respect that, then that might be a good alternative.

    She is currently not coming to our house or Thanksgiving (which is a halfway location) without the dog.  We have looked up and found many options for her to board the dog, but she says she will never board the dog and that even if she were to board him, that they are unable to do that because he isn't a year old yet.  

    I understand her point, but I'm also not willing to let something happen to my house and I am 100% not comfortable having him in my house.  It's not an option for her to bring him for thanksgiving unless she stays at a nearby hotel with the dog.  What I guess I don't understand is that she sees her only son about 2 times per year and that is when we fly to her house. I guess she will just never come and visit us or spend time with us unless we go to her.  It's just strange to me.  My parents have a dog that I grew up with.  He's considered "my brother" and is a small hypo-allergic dog, but  my parents don't bring him everywhere and certainly wouldn't forgo seeing me if our dog was unable to come to the place we were staying. 

  • I am a dog person. A pets in general person, really. I have had several as family pets, and had my own a few years ago. I totally get not wanting to board your pet (oh, the horrors I have heard!) but there are lots of instances where it's just not practical to bring your dog along.

    Personally, having had a dog that was adorable and great with children but also somewhat mischievous, I would not have felt comfortable bringing him to a house like yours. Most of the time he was a great dog- but periodically, if I turned my back for more than 5 minutes he would be in your bathroom trash can making a mess. He wouldn't damage furniture or anything like that, but just like children, dogs can be pests. They make messes. People who have pets should know who is comfortable with them and who isn't- I personally believe our house is meant to be lived in. But I am a graduate student and recently married, we live in a rental (which does have nice new hardwood floors that the landlord said we could have pets on with a $400 deposit), and bought our couch secondhand on craigslist for an exceptionally good price. Needless to say, if something happens, well it would suck but I'm not too anxious about it. I think the wood floors are great because messes are easy to clean, but that's me. No matter what one thinks, you always respect the wishes of the house you are visiting.

    It's disturbing to me when someone discounts other people's health issues or fear of animals and just assumes once they see how cute the dog is it will all be ok. They often seem to be the same people who think it's funny that their dog doesn't know basic commands and likes to chew up shoes. I really hope that your MIL will take the time to take this dog to basic training so that when he is older he can be a welcome pet guest with good manners.

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