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Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

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Re: Thoughts?!

  • I've never gave it a thought.  Both of my parents worked and I turned out well. In my experience, people's opinion on the subject tends to favor how they were raised.  I will be a working mom...someday.
  • I worked full time (and then some) until K was 2 and a few months.  She loved daycare.   She needs it and I need it.  Hence, I send her a couple times a week.   H is a different baby.   She only wants me and needs a lot of holding time.   I'm constantly holding her while I try to work from home.    I don't think the 1 to 4 infant ratio in a daycare center would work for her at this time in her life.

    I'll be honest.  I miss making that kind of money and being able to buy things.   I'm trying to offset it by saying they are only going to be this young once and I have the rest of my life to work.  

  • I was raised by a single working mom up until I was 5 then a working married mom--I turned out just fine--I've traveled the world, I have a college degree, I have a good job, I am a good person, etc etc....my kids will too...If anything, I think it taught me the value of hardwork and the importance of time spent with my family.

    I think it is ridiculous to think kids are "harmed" by their mother's working so I am happy to see this is now being "offset"--flame away but I think the thought that kids are somehow at a disadvantage with two working parents is, well, laugh worthy.

    To each his/her own but to say that one way is detrimental to your children is absurd.

    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/izn4lw.jpg[/IMG]


    **Crunchy Mama to three girlies and one little guy**


    *P 9.2005 * B 11.2007 * M 6.2009 * J 11.2011*


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  • I've always agreed with the "A happy mom makes a happy child".  I stay home with my kid, didn't intend to, but I ended up liking it and it works for the family.  I don't do it because I think it'll make my son smarter or better adjusted. I never thought that working moms were putting their kids at a disadvantage, and until I joined the Bump, I didn't know it was such a huge debate. 
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  • I agree that the guilt for the mom is the worst part.  I believe DD gets far more constructive activity time at daycare than she would being home with me all day.  DD is also very shy/sensitive and I wonder how bad it would be if she were home with me all day. 

     

  • I guess I never thought "cognitively" that I would need to stay home with my child? I will be working unless I can find some great money making hobby at home, but I'm not creative :)
    image
  • njh514njh514 member
    image robynlynn83:

    I think it is ridiculous to think kids are "harmed" by their mother's working so I am happy to see this is now being "offset"--flame away but I think the thought that kids are somehow at a disadvantage with two working parents is, well, laugh worthy.

    To each his/her own but to say that one way is detrimental to your children is absurd.

    I agree with this. Some kids have SAHMoms who never pay attention to them and some have working moms who never pay attention to them. It all depends on how the time is spent together in my opinion. It's all in what you make of it. I really don't see what the debate is. If you can stay home and you want to stay home, awesome. If you want to work and can work, awesome.

    Like Robyn said,  "but to say that one way is detrimental to your children is absurd." I totally agree.

     

     

    image
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  • okay - minority here - I think a parent should stay at home and raise their kid. I stay at home - while its hard, and is a LOT of work, I would never want to put O in a daycare - I dont want someone else raising/ taking care of my child, I just dont. If that makes him a crazy home school kid, then oh well (but his asss is going to school - I dont agree with home schooling). I cant imagine dropping him off at 7, picking him up at 5, and only having 3 hours to hang out with him before I put him to bed. 3 hours, thats it!! Ugh, it would break my heart. If I want a job, then I can get one when all my kids are in school, and I have 8 hours to burn during the day.

    Would we have nicer things if I worked? yeah. We would have way more money, thats for sure. It would be nice to get away and be an adult at work for the day. It would give you a chance to 'miss' your child.

     But, we live withing our means - and we dont worry about keeping up with the jones's, so we dont live in a nice big house, with nice new cars. But, no amount of money is worth missing that time with him, pain in the butt or not.

    I dont think it messes up the child, one way or the other - its just a personal preference for how you want to live your life, and what kind of memories you want to make. Owen is a lucky kid - he has his mom or dad, or both, home with him all the time. He gets socialization with other kids, goes on playdates, ect....

  • I don't think daycare is raising children, JMO.  In our situation, the girls go to daycare two days a week--we are lucky enough to have someone home the other five.  Regardless--the time after work is spent with the girls--playing, reading, etc etc....Our kids aren't missing out on one thing.

     I don't think it is reasonable to think (not saying anyone here is) that every parent has the opportunity  to stay home with his/her children every single day. 

    I also think that having a working parent has it's perks as well and can also teach children life lessons.

    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/izn4lw.jpg[/IMG]


    **Crunchy Mama to three girlies and one little guy**


    *P 9.2005 * B 11.2007 * M 6.2009 * J 11.2011*


    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=c-section&utm_medium=ubb&utm_campaign=badges"><img src="http://images.thenestbaby.com/badges/tb_sig_csection.gif"></a>

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  • I think the most important thing to realize is that every family is different.

    I will be a working mom.  I could be a SAHM, but it would mean that DH would have to go back on the road 100% - that is, he would leave for his consulting gigs on Monday morning and return Friday night (he would make more $$ this way).  I don't think it is fair for me to say I want to stay at home and make him go on the road, thereby missing out on time with his children during the week.  Also, I know that personally, I will be a better mom for my children if I work.  I did make the decision 2.5 years ago to change my career path to better suit a family life....I previously worked 60-70 hours per week and was required to do business development in the evenings/on weekends (read: schmooze potential clients).  I knew I didn't want to have kids only to hire a nanny so I could keep this up.  So now I feel like I work for a company that supports a good work/family balance and will allow me to grow professionally, while still being a good mom.

    I was raised by two working parents.  DH was raised by a working dad/SAHM combo.  We both turned out pretty well (in our opinion anyway, ha!). 

    We're about to find out how it works for us.  If what we have planned needs adjusting, we'll figure it out so it is best for our family.

  • Daycare doesn't raise a child any more than a school raises a child.

  • image HuskerHoya:

    Daycare doesn't raise a child any more than a school raises a child.

    ITA w/ this. 

    Alissa was in daycare before she started school. She is the kind of kid that craves constant interaction with other kids. And for us, it honestly isn't a matter of living w/in our means and having one of us stay home. We both HAVE to work, there just isn't any way around it. It comes down to "Hey Alissa, you can have your mom home everyday, or you can eat. Which is it going to be?" That's not an exaggeration, either.

    At night, and during the weekend, she is with us all the time. Though. I think I have a little different viewpoint than some others on the board. Alissa is almost 6. She isn't a little kid that needs/wants to be w/ their parents every minute. She wants to go spend the night at friends houses, or play over at a friends. She doesn't want me there, she is just fine without me. 

    But I agree, it's ridiculous to say one hurts a kid more than another. It's all in the way the kid is raised. Like someone said, you can have a SAHM who sits on the internet all day, or a working mom that spends every spare minute w/ her kid. 

    image
    photos by jennied photography

    Alissa Jean

    9.10.2004
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