? IfLaura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kateand Sarah.
? IfMike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as FatBoy, Dickhead and DoDo for Brains.
? Whenthe bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it'sonly for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none willactually admit they want change back.
? Whenthe girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.
? Aman will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
? Awoman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.
? Aman has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream,razor, a bar of soap, and a towel.
? Theaverage number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A manwould not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.
? Awoman has the last word in any argument.
? Anythinga man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
? Awoman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
? Aman never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
? Asuccessful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
? Asuccessful woman is one who can find such a man.
? Awoman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
? Aman marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.
? Awoman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answerthe phone, read a book, and get the mail.
? Aman will dress up for weddings and funerals.
? Menwake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
? Womensomehow deteriorate during the night.
? Ah,children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows aboutdentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fearsand hopes and dreams.
? Aman is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.
THOUGHT FORTHE DAY
A marriedman should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people rememberingthe same thing!