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Shouldn't be annoyed but i am

I went out of my way to invite SIL to dinner when she is up. I sent her an email asking her if she would like to come up because me and Marc would like to cook her and her H dinner.

Marc gets an email saying how she will enjoy dinner cooked by Marc and spending time with him.

I guess i am just the wife, hanging out in the background. Cleaning up and finding things to do with her and her H in Montreal.

So yeah i feel a little pushed aside and a little under appreciated since i emailed her the plan for dinner and what we would be cooking for them, and i am the one that invited them.

Also whenever she talks about heading out to see them she only asks Marc to take the plane out. Not his wife.

 

Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
Blog: http://oneflewoverthecaliconest.blogspot.com/

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Re: Shouldn't be annoyed but i am

  • Sue_sueSue_sue member
    5 Love Its

    Well. It appears she's doing it on purpose. I am guessing this is not the first time she has done this. What does your dh say when she behaves like this?

    I'd be tempted to answer "Oh, Sally; I'm sorry. It was the plan for me to fix the dinner WITH Marc; and I'd be sitting there with the three of you while you eat it, eating at the same time. Since that's not what you're planning, maybe we should do this another time".

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • No, she has done this a lot. I am not surprised either. I am not trying to be best buddies, i don't want to actually. But when i personally invited her to come to MY home (it is not only Marcs) i would like a little, i don't know....acknowledgement. 

    What does he say? Well he defends her. I told him i was annoyed that she said "Have my brother cook my supper" in the email, and not even mention me. I let the issue go for now because it's through email and having an argument in email doesn't usually go to well. I fully intend to bring this up when he gets home. 

    I'd rather she decline if she really doesn't want much to do with me. If i cancel now, a whole new can of worms will open and as her baby shower is the day after and I'm hosting-i'd rather just keep things civil. 

    I am tempted to just let him cook everything though and clean while i sit back.

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    Blog: http://oneflewoverthecaliconest.blogspot.com/

    Whatchoo looking at?

    [IMG]http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e36/psyco_pingu/boo-1.jpg[/IMG]
  • image Sue_sue:

    "Oh, Sally; I'm sorry. It was the plan for me to fix the dinner WITH Marc; and I'd be sitting there with the three of you while you eat it, eating at the same time. Since that's not what you're planning, maybe we should do this another time".

    I love this answer.

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  • Sue_sueSue_sue member
    5 Love Its

    Oh, by all means have Marc do it all. "Honey,it means a lot to your sister to have YOU do the cooking; so I'm just going to sit back and stay out of the way and let you three have your dinner".

    Seriously. If it's ok for her to exclude you, it's certainly ok for you to go along with it.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • image Sue_sue:

    Oh, by all means have Marc do it all. "Honey,it means a lot to your sister to have YOU do the cooking; so I'm just going to sit back and stay out of the way and let you three have your dinner".

    Seriously. If it's ok for her to exclude you, it's certainly ok for you to go along with it.

    Agreed. Especially since Marc also didn't see anything wrong with it.
  • Sue_sueSue_sue member
    5 Love Its

    Oh exactly. No way I'd fix dinner for someone who pointedly doesn't acknowledge my existence; or for the dhdh who thought that was ok.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • I agree with Sue_sue.  Penguin, you should just kick back with a glass of wine (or three) and a salad and let Marc cook your SIL and her H dinner.  Or better yet, tell the three of them that since you're not invited to dinner, you're going to take yourself out for some poutine and wine.  And then enjoy yourself while you're at it!
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  • lol poutine and wine. Now that is a quebec meal.

    We talked about it and he still doesn't see my view on the situation. Not surprising but i told him since she thinks he is cooking the meal, guess who will be cooking. He wasn't too happy, but he can deal now can't he. 

    Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
    Blog: http://oneflewoverthecaliconest.blogspot.com/

    Whatchoo looking at?

    [IMG]http://i36.photobucket.com/albums/e36/psyco_pingu/boo-1.jpg[/IMG]
  • Hey that's what he gets for sticking his head up his own azz.  And stick to your guns, too, honey.  If Marc doesn't make a move and they end up coming over and wondering where dinner is, then you get to point to Marc and say:  "Well, he didn't cook anything, so I guess you all are going to have to get take out!"
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  • Funny she doesn't acknowledge her H either.  You should reply:  While you and my brother are having dinner do you think your H would like to go to the bar with me?  They are having an amateur strip-off.
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