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Tips anybody?

This is my first time on this board and advice is appreciated. I am looking for more creative ideas. Dh has suggested penetrating me from my butt. I just find it odd to do and I think it must be painful. I have never tried it before. Does anybody do this? What is it like?

Also I can't really manage giving a good blow job to DH. I don't like swallowing and rarely give them. My jaw gets sore and I do jerk him off when it does happen. I have tried flavored condoms and I accidently bit him on Sunday doing this. I have even tried caramel syrup. DH likes blowjobs but I don't like giving them. Any tips to make this more tolerable?


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Re: Tips anybody?

  • MotzieMotzie member
    Fifth Anniversary

    I can't speak for the buttsecks cause I think it's disgusting and thankfully so does my SO.

    As far as the BJ's, practice makes perfect. You don't have to do it to completion every time, just as foreplay for a few minutes. Stop when your jaw gets sore. I'm not sure about flavors or syrups, seems messier than its worth. Is your H not clean or something where he tastes bad? 

  • Dan Savage is a very sex-friendly columnist out of Seattle.  He has had a number of columns lately about people who are hesitant about anal.

    here is a recent column addressing it, there are others in the archives for first-timers.  Basically, start slowly with small objects, use enough lube (but not too much), and work your way up.  Then if you try it a few time and don't like it, save it for special occasions or something :-)  You can also get some toys at places like that will help ease you into it.

     I have nothing helpful for BJs - I have the same issues! Although you could try talking to him about "it would be more fun for me if you *ahem* wouldn't take quite so long" hee hee

  • I have had the same problem giving DH blow jobs. I have TMJ, a condition that sometimes locks my jaw up and usually makes stretching my jaw extremely uncomfortable. It took a lot of patience on both of our parts to figure out something that works for both of us.

     I guess I'm lucky that DH loves vaginal sex so much that he usually doesn't want me to complete the blow job. He enjoys it as a form of foreplay, therefor, I'm not usually doing it for long periods of time. The trick was to find an angle that doesn't overtax my jaw and I usually use my hands at the base so that I'm not trying use my mouth on the whole thing. 

     I would recommend experimenting with angles and positions. Thanks to the porn industry, a lot of men and women think that there are only two positions that can be used to give a blow job: the guy standing and woman on her knees on the floor, or the guy sitting and the woman on her knees on the floor. DH and I have tried both for kicks and giggles but neither of them is very comfortable for either of us. 

     As far as anal goes, you have to be comfortable with yourself and the thought of anal sex before you try it. DH and I have been together for three and a half years and have only just tried it once. A lot of prep work is required, I don't advise trying to jump right in. The women I know whose SO's have taken the "dive right in" approach have usually developed a lot of negativity towards it. It took DH and I several weeks of discussing it, feeling things out and experimenting very slowly.

    You definitely need to be on the same page as far as, as soon as you say the word he stops. He also needs to understand that he's going to have to go very slowly and probably stop several times until you're comfortable enough to let him go all the way. A lot of communication needs is going to have to be involved.

     As far as what it's like, it's a very different feeling that vaginal sex. It's not unpleasant if you're comfortable and properly lubricated, but don't expect to get the same sensations out of it. Some of the women that I know who have tried it, do get some pleasure out of it, others nothing at all. From what I understand, it's a very small percentage of women who get physical sensation from anal sex. 

     Personally, DH and I decided that we both much prefer vaginal sex, but it's something nifty to try out every so often. 

  • lets see..if you decide to have the buttseks...use LOTS i repeat LOTS of lube! lube your butt and him up. start slow. it will hurt. DH and i do it a few times a month, usually when im just on my period. we have regular sex a heck of a lot more. you may not be a fan like most people, but it can be fun. oh and remember to relax! as for bj's, spit on your hand and use your hand and mouth to go up and down on him so all of his d!ck isnt in your mouth to where you'll gag. swallowing isnt that bad, it sometimes depends on what he's eaten that day too. if you dont want to swallow have him come somewhere on your body..they like that too =) 
  • You do not have to blow him to completion. If you are going to do it and he really wants you to it is not too much to ask for him to give you a signal or yank before he finishes. I think a good technique is to do it ina way where he can really see you so that was he is extra excited and it wont last as long. Also stimulate him befor for the same reasons. Use your hand too you can primarily concentrate on the tip and just occassionally go down as far as you can in a swift motion to catch him off guard, that will pretty much do him in. If you can do it great for just a couple of minutes you are off the hook and he will be begginf for sex!

    As far as the anal goes if you want to try it, it is up to you. Definatly do not try it for the first time in a doggie style position, that would just hurt! try out something slow maybe both of you on your side maybe fingers first until you get more comfortable. he has to be patient and slow. Toys are also a really fun way to add some spice. You can even have a couple toy party. The consultant will talk to you all about a huge variety of thing it may help to open up the sexual communication. I did these parties for awhile. People sometimes just dont know how to bring things up even with their partner, Let me know if you need any more help you can always PM me.

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