Trouble in Paradise
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F/U to Need Advice/Support

I swear he must have been reading my thread yesterday...even though I know it's highly unlikely since he doesn't know I go on here.

Anyway...I didn't feel the need for 'the talk' last night.  We went to look at the house and I felt very involved in the decisions he was making about the situation.  I felt involved before, but he was just so excited about us living there together that it made me feel 100% like it was mine too.


THEN...(I was completely shocked by this and actually started laughing because I thought he was joking) as soon as we got back to his place last night he ripped my clothes off and we had sex without a condom (I know TMI).  That is a HUGE step for him.  I know he did it for me.  We did it again this morning (no condom).  I can see that he is taking what I said last weekend seriously (when I walked out just before we were going to have sex because he refused to go without a condom).  He's probably been thinking about it all week and realizes I'm serious about our situation and what I need to change in order to stay around.

I think I needed him to show this effort.  I feel better about our situation today and my 'head over heels' feeling is starting to come back.  I have 'excitement butterflies' in my stomach today and cannot wait to see him tonight. If men only knew what making an effort does to a woman's feelings toward them.


I know things are not 100% yet, but the fact that he is making an effort has made me feel good about our engagment.  I'm going to suggest to him when I come back from my trip next week that we move the wedding date out.  I want to make sure things continue in this positive direction before we make any plans that involve money!


Thanks for all of the suggestions yeterday.  I really did think about what everyone said.

Re: F/U to Need Advice/Support

  • Congrats Martini!  That's great news.  I'm happy that he's making an effort for you!  I was worried about the shrugging off your feelings you mentioned in the last thread.  Doesn't sound that way now! 

    You're definitely doing the right thing by moving the wedding out to be sure that things continue going well for you both.

    GL and keep updating! 

  • I know I am missing something because I never read your condom post before this. But I hope that you are on BCP. You don't need kids right now.

    You have so much doubt, and while yes - yesterday was a good day, it does not and should not take away from the doubt you had until this point. Baby steps are good as long as they keep going in the right direction... And you should still have a talk to him about how you have been feeling. Talking is good.

    Good luck!


    A lot of years and a million tears finally led me to you.
    After 7 years trying to concieve, 3 failed IUIs and 2 failed IVFs, my third IVF was a success!
    My Christmas baby turned into a turkey bird! Dillon Richard was born at 34 weeks, 5 days on November 28, 2009 after 10 weeks on bedrest for preeclampsia.
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  • Im glad you had a good day...but remember it was jut one day.

    i think it ios a very good idea that you push the wedding day out...i would suggest at least 6 months...this way you ll have time. i still think you NEED to talk to him about everything you talked to us about yesterday. it isnt going to go away magically.

    it is easy to make a change for a couple of days even weeks...but only time will tell if this is for real.

    please be careful!

  • I didn't comment on your previous post but I did read it and I am glad to hear that things are going good so far, I think that is a smart decision that you still want to move the wedding day out....Good Luck! : )
  • krissy - she has an IUD.
  • Krissy...I have an IUD and the reason I was upset about him wanting to use a condom is because I got an IUD after we mutually agreed that once I got it we wouldn't use condoms anymore.


    I know things aren't perfect and I plan on talking to him tonight about the things that have happened between us in the last day. I'm going to stress that I still have some doubts about our relationship, but what happened is a step in the right direction to repair things.


    I just didn't want to ruin the mood and shoot him down after he made such a big step.

  • I think it sounds like great progress!!!  One step at a time.  So, I'm sure the house conversations and others are soon to follow.  You know what you are thinking and are concerned about - that is great.  You guys just need more time to be on the same page, feel comfortable, and definitely move out the wedding date.  Best wishes... I'm excited for you.

    Running outside...


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