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REALLY need help yall PLEASE...getting married this weekend

...and both my fiance and I are virgins, I just started taking birth control pills last week...do we HAVE to use a condom the first time we do it? He doesnt want to, I dont want him to, but then again, i dont want to get pregnant just yet...what do you suggest? do most guys wear condoms their first nights? is there a possibiluty for me to get pregnant? whats the best type of condom to use if we DO use it? Please help...thanks!
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Re: REALLY need help yall PLEASE...getting married this weekend

  • Didn't your doctor tell you how long you had to take it before it was effective and you were protected?  I'd get a new GYN if she didn't even take the time to explain how you should use the pill.

    I know my doctor told me to wait two weeks before having sex without some other form of BC.  I am not a doctor so you probably want to consult with an actual GYN instead of taking the advice of someone on the internet.

     

  • My gyn told me to wait a month before only using the pill. but call your and ask. A condom the first time is not a bad thing, especially if he's over excited, it might help desensitize him a bit.
  • ok um, yes she DID tell me but i want to get other peoples opinions as well, like people that are actually ON the pill and have experienced this situations. sometimes doctors say one thing, and people that have been experiencing the same as me for a while, have different stories.

    thanks

  • You havnt been on the pill long at all, so I would say YES, you could get pregnant. If you do you a condom, try using one made of lambs skin or an ultra thin. If you do not want to wear a condom, your guy could pull out.

  • Why did you wait so long to get on the pill? You are getting married this weekend, like this Sat or Sun I'm assuming? And you just started the pill like a week ago? You need to give it time for the BC to get into your system!
  • I would go with what your doctor advises.  So if she says use a 2nd form of bc, then do that.  Does not really matter what kind of condom, something thin might be good. But also get some lubricant (like KY) to make it feel a bit better. And a condom may be good bcz it will probably slow your DH down from climaxing. 

     But you could just use spermicide by itself (though honestly by itself it is not the greatest form of birth control.)  Also comes as a lubricant.  Just know that some women are sensitive to spermicide so you never know how you will react. 

    Quite frankly, since neither of you have had sex, you won't know the differene btwn having sex with a condom or without.  So be on the safe side and have him wear one.

  • image sarah_crishelle:

    You havnt been on the pill long at all, so I would say YES, you could get pregnant. If you do you a condom, try using one made of lambs skin or an ultra thin. If you do not want to wear a condom, your guy could pull out.



    I might agree, except he's a virgin. There's a high chance he'll *** just trying to penetrate. And there's a lot of room for resentment if she gets knocked up and it didn't even feel good.
  • I'd definately go with a condom.  Seeing that the BC hasn't really even had time to settle in your system, you aren't 100% safe yet.  Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?  I've heard that you should wait anywhere from 2-4 weeks to stop using condoms when you first get on BCPs.
  • Awesome.  So your Dr., you know, the one with the Medical degree, already advised you on using backup methods, but you didn't like her answer so you posted on the internet hoping a bunch of strangers would tell you what you want to hear.

    Good luck with that.

  • I am new to the community and I have just been reading some of the posts on different topics today and I can not believe the way people talk to one another.  People are so rude on here.  Like the person above who said "Awesome good luck with that"  Isnt this supposed to be one of the happiest times of our lives, looking forward to getting married or just recently married.  I am appaled.

    Anyway...congrats on your upcoming wedding this weekend!  How great!  You definitely need an alternate form of BC, or at least I have heard.  After one week the pill is not in your system.

  • I don't know.  I think it is a pretty honest response to "my doctor DID tell me what to do, but I wanted to ask people ON the pill who might tell me what I want to hear."  If she wants to ignore her doctor's advice that is her issue, but if she doesn't want a baby right now, it is pretty irresponsible.

     My answer would have been very different if I had posted before she followed up saying that she wanted to ignore her doctor's directions.

  • image Cst2CstBride:

    Awesome.  So your Dr., you know, the one with the Medical degree, already advised you on using backup methods, but you didn't like her answer so you posted on the internet hoping a bunch of strangers would tell you what you want to hear.

    Good luck with that.

     DITTO.  Listen to your doctor!  If you want to be sure you aren't getting pregnant on your wedding night and honeymoon, I would use backup.  Obviously, it's too late for you, but hopefully other virgin fiances out there are taking notes - GET ON BIRTH CONTROL PRIOR TO ONE WEEK BEFORE YOUR WEDDING!  If you've never had sex, I'm sure you've been thinking about it in the months and weeks leading up to your wedding.  You need to talk to your future husband about your long term plans for children so that you can adequately prepare and protect yourself for your wedding night.

  • Yes, it is possible for you to become pregnant if you have only been on the pill for one week. I would give it at least 3 weeks before I would be comfortable not using a condom. The best kind of condom to use would be something with the words "ultra thin" but make sure you do not get any kind of "ribbed" or anything like that, as that will HURT for you. Also make sure you pick up some KY Jelly.

     Oh yeah, and as first-times go...It really doesn't make a difference with a condom vs. without a condom...that's all in your head. Both my husband and I were virgins on our wedding night. We didn't use a condom the first time, and we did the second and really there's no difference...it wasn't until we got used to not using a condom that it became annoying to use one on the rare occasions that we had to.
     

  • Ok ladies, first off, birth control is NOT 100% effective.  Secondly there are different types of BC, combo is the most popular.  Thirdly, there are different back-up protocols for different situations. 

    So let's start with the "Sunday starter" on a combo, this means you started your pack of pills the Sunday post the beginning of your period.  You need back up for one week.  This type of start prevents weekend bleeding typically.

    Then there's the day 1 starter on combo, this means you started your pack the first day of your period.  You do not need back up. 

    Now, if you miss one active pill, you need to take it as soon as possible and do not need back up.

    If you miss 2 active pills in a row on week one or two you need to take two pills for two days and use back up for 7 days.

    if you miss 2 active pills in a row in week three AND you are a day 1 starter you need throw out that pack of pills and start a new one. Use back up for 7 days.

    if you miss 2 active pills in a row in week three AND you are a Sunday starter you need to take 1 pill daily until Sunday, on Sunday throw out the pack and start a new one.  Use back up for 7 days.

    If you miss 3 active pills in a row you are a day 1 starter you need to throw that pack out and start a new one use back up for 7 days.  You may not have a period this month

    If you miss 3 active pills in a row and you are a sunday starter take a pill a day until Sunday and throw out the pack and start a new one .  Use back up for 7 days.  You may not have a period this month.

    Again let me repeat there are different forms of BC and these rules do not apply for all.  They only apply to combination pills AND BC is NOT 100% effective.

    This is information your pharmacist should be able to provide for you at any time, JUST ASK.

  • YES you can get pregant if you don't use some other form of BC. BCP take about a month to kick in if you have never been on them before. You guys may not want to but you started taking your BC too late. You should have started about 3 months ago for that.

    Anyways, the best kinds of condoms are the ultra-thin ones. Try to get ones without lube already on them-they might irritate you and cause a YI (they do for me). Make sure you have plenty of lube on hand.

    Think of it this way. You have your whole lives to have sex without condoms, a few weeks with them won't hurt anything.
     

  • Inlovewithmyboy, it was really nice of you to take the time to write out the instructions for her.  Unfortunately, he doctor already told her the safest way to use her particular pill and she didn't like what she was told and was hoping that other women on the internet would tell her she didn't need a back up.  She already knows her answer, she just didn't like it.
  • I agree with the pp, be safe not sorry.
  • According to University of Iowa Hospital and Clinics' website, "Use a BACKUP METHOD (foam, condoms, sponge) along with the pills for the first month."

    ?U of Illinois' website says what was posted above (don't need a backup with day 1 start and one week of backup with Sunday start). ?Apparently it varies? ?I'd go with better safe than sorry, if it were me, however.

    ?

    ?

  • Also....to argue FOR using a condom..... it does help keep things a little less messy too....which can be a bonus.

    And I agree that it will maybe help him last a little longer.....

     congrats on getting married.....

    Jill * Married to Steven 11/9/03 * DS Samuel 4/4/05* DS #2 Jeffrey 6/13/2009
  • you pretty much have the rest of your lives together to do it with out a condom, so just wear it the first month so you won't get a surprize honeymoon baby, and then go without after a month or so ! Congrats on the wedding!! Hope its perfect!
  • Your doctor did not tell you this for her health. There is a reason why perfect use =/= actual use.  If you take your pill exactly as instructed, then you will have usage percentages = to the package.  If you use it as you wish, then your usage will = actual usage.  So, take it the same time every day (or within 6 hours), and you won't have problems.  This is from an MD who takes BC (Nuvaring).
  • I've been on the pill for 14-15 years. Everytime I changed pills or got off it for a while and back on I was told a minimum of 10 days. But if you REALLY don't want to get pregnant, you need to wait one full cycle before having unprotected sex.?

    Baby In My Belly!!
  • like i posted in another topic

    since its your first time, i would use a condom. your guy could go longer and plus you would already have the lube you need. and anyway not all BC are effective and not all condoms are effective. there's still that .1% that you could get something. it may seem like a small number but i didnt take that chance

  • This may be too late, but the easiest way to answer this question is to read the info in your pill pack.  It will explain how long to wait after starting, what to do if you miss a pill, etc. etc.



    Since you're partially on the pill, I would add spermicide or the sponge too.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Use a back up method. There are many different kinds. The two of you need to discuss this a little more. So he doesn't want to wear a condom, big doda! Does he really want to have a Oops baby instead ?! A few times wearing a condom won't kill him and it's way better than starting your marriage with an unwanted pregnancy. Seriously, think this through a little more.

  • Indeed I"d use a condom -- or a diaphragm.

     And there ins indeed a possibility of getting pregnant. YOu haven't been on the pill long enough for it to reach steady state.

  • Hope this isn't too late.  You should have started at least 2-3 months of BC before your wedding!  Sometimes it can take that long for it to be fully effective....good luck!
  • image inlovewithmyboy:

    Ok ladies, first off, birth control is NOT 100% effective.  Secondly there are different types of BC, combo is the most popular.  Thirdly, there are different back-up protocols for different situations. 

    So let's start with the "Sunday starter" on a combo, this means you started your pack of pills the Sunday post the beginning of your period.  You need back up for one week.  This type of start prevents weekend bleeding typically.

    Then there's the day 1 starter on combo, this means you started your pack the first day of your period.  You do not need back up. 

    Now, if you miss one active pill, you need to take it as soon as possible and do not need back up.

    If you miss 2 active pills in a row on week one or two you need to take two pills for two days and use back up for 7 days.

    if you miss 2 active pills in a row in week three AND you are a day 1 starter you need throw out that pack of pills and start a new one. Use back up for 7 days.

    if you miss 2 active pills in a row in week three AND you are a Sunday starter you need to take 1 pill daily until Sunday, on Sunday throw out the pack and start a new one.  Use back up for 7 days.

    If you miss 3 active pills in a row you are a day 1 starter you need to throw that pack out and start a new one use back up for 7 days.  You may not have a period this month

    If you miss 3 active pills in a row and you are a sunday starter take a pill a day until Sunday and throw out the pack and start a new one .  Use back up for 7 days.  You may not have a period this month.

    Again let me repeat there are different forms of BC and these rules do not apply for all.  They only apply to combination pills AND BC is NOT 100% effective.

    This is information your pharmacist should be able to provide for you at any time, JUST ASK.

     

    What she said! 

  • image jtjc:
    Why did you wait so long to get on the pill? You are getting married this weekend, like this Sat or Sun I'm assuming? And you just started the pill like a week ago? You need to give it time for the BC to get into your system!
  • image jtjc:
    Why did you wait so long to get on the pill? You are getting married this weekend, like this Sat or Sun I'm assuming? And you just started the pill like a week ago? You need to give it time for the BC to get into your system!
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