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Clicky/Poll: Is Your SO a Good Communicator?

Going to try my best to put this in a succinct poll.  I know I don't post here often, but FI and I have been going through some stressful times in the past month or so and it got me thinking about this.  In general, we have learned to communicate better and better with each other over the course of our relationship (4.5 years) but there are still times when he just reverts back to his old habits- namely, sitting silently and not saying anything or contributing to the conversation.  I guess he's just not always good at articulating his feelings or ideas, but it leaves me feeling like we haven't made progress or that he doesn't care.  I know this is something we'll continue to work on, but it's so frustrating at times.  I can talk 'til the cows come home, but it doesn't work if it's only a one way conversation! 

In addition to the poll, I'd be greatly appreciative if you have any advice on what has worked for you to improve communication if your two styles differ.  Thanks, ladies!  

 

[Poll]

Re: Clicky/Poll: Is Your SO a Good Communicator?

  • srgwsrgw member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    My H is a great communicator. He likes to talk things out right away while I need time to collect my thoughts. Our premarital counselor said I shouldn't take time to collect my thoughts, but talk it through with my H right away. I (we) disregarded that suggestion because I work better in a conversation about whatever issue we're having once I've thought through it. My point is to be aware of the differences you have in communicating and plan out how you'll address issues before they arise.
  • image girlinchicago:

    Going to try my best to put this in a succinct poll.  I know I don't post here often, but FI and I have been going through some stressful times in the past month or so and it got me thinking about this.  In general, we have learned to communicate better and better with each other over the course of our relationship (4.5 years) but there are still times when he just reverts back to his old habits- namely, sitting silently and not saying anything or contributing to the conversation.  I guess he's just not always good at articulating his feelings or ideas, but it leaves me feeling like we haven't made progress or that he doesn't care.  I know this is something we'll continue to work on, but it's so frustrating at times.  I can talk 'til the cows come home, but it doesn't work if it's only a one way conversation! 

    In addition to the poll, I'd be greatly appreciative if you have any advice on what has worked for you to improve communication if your two styles differ.  Thanks, ladies!  


     

    Playing devil's advocate here, but maybe he doesn't say much because YOU are either forcing an issue he is not ready to discuss or YOU are talking too much and not listening to him?

    Communication is dependent upon BOTH parties.

     

    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
  • it was a toss up between 2 and 3 but I picked 3.  We definitely communicate way better than ever in the past year or so, but it depends on what we're talking about and also my mood.  If I go at him screaming (which I haven't in a really long time) he would shut down and it was like pulling teeth to get him to say anything.  Can't say I blamed him!
    BFP #1 5/10/06 ...m/mc @11.5w 6/29/06 D&C 6/30/06
    BFP #2 10/29/08 ...stillborn via c/s @41w 7/20/09
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
    missing my baby everyday
    BFP #3 1/20/10 My angel's little sister Grace Madison was born September 8th 2010 @37w. We're so blessed! Thank you angel for getting her here safely.
    BFP #4 12/30/11. Jackson Christopher 8/22/2012 via repeat c/s @ 37w 3d
    image
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  • We are both good communicators.  To be honest, I don't think we would have made it more than few weeks into dating if he wasn't.  There's nothing more tiring than having to carry a conversation - it's one of my pet peeves.
  • DH once told me that he's actually happy that I went through marriage counseling and a divorce because I learned a lot from those experiences and he's learned a lot from me.  When we first got together, we had completely different arguing styles- he'd yell, stomp around and then check out.  I convinced him that conflict resolution was much better done by talking things out (something I had to learn myself).  He caught right on that we had to communicate WHY we were upset as opposed to just communicating that we are upset.  He told me later how much he appreciated that one little lesson.  We're able to discuss difficult situations in a way that communicates our feelings in a calm manner.
  • Being good communicators, and "open books," is the only way to survive a long-distance relationship, first of all.

    I couldn't have married someone who wasn't a good communicator.  Marriage isn't for fixing people.

  • image MyValentine2004:
    DH once told me that he's actually happy that I went through marriage counseling and a divorce because I learned a lot from those experiences and he's learned a lot from me. 

    DH went through a divorce and I agree with this about him 100% as well.

    I would also say that while I'm a good communicator, DH is an excellent communicator. 

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