Relationships
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All knotties should come here!

I am approaching my 3rd anniversary.  I have never come to the nest before this last week, but thought i would check it out.  i posted regularly on the knot when i was planning my wedding.  WOW!  the tone and problems are quite different between the two camps.  All knotties should come and read this board, especially the relationships section, before they get married.  I've seen a number of things here that should have been caught in the engagement period.

Re: All knotties should come here!

  • I totally agree with you.  But a lot of people who are in the midst of planning their wedding (not just Knotties exclusively) look at life through rose-colored glasses.  I'm sure many of them would assume or insist that what we have to say doesn't apply to them or their situation.  People planning to get married often don't want to hear that marriage is anything but 100% bliss.  
  • I've been married, it's alot of work. It's not complete happiness all the time. You have to work at it everyday to make it successful. I got married at 19 and got pregnant the night I got married, now I'm 27 and divorced and learned so much! I now understand that relationships in general are not all roses all the time.
  • I have been married for almost 5 months, and I would agree. I did read the nest board before getting married, even a bit before the "official" engagement. It opened my eyes to problems people in "real life" don't necessarily tell you about.
  • I agree with katelyn, I have been married for almost 6 months and it has not been all roses! It is alot of work but if both people are committed than it can become roses more often. I have realized in order to make it work you have to become less selfish; alot of the time you have to put the other person before yourself. It is an adjustment but it is worth all the hard work!
  • image princesstaryn:
    I agree with katelyn, I have been married for almost 6 months and it has not been all roses! It is alot of work but if both people are committed than it can become roses more often. I have realized in order to make it work you have to become less selfish; alot of the time you have to put the other person before yourself. It is an adjustment but it is worth all the hard work!

     I don;t mean to do the "I am older so I know so much better" thing, because rose colored glassed can be worn at 20 or 50, but I think youth, particularly being under 25 or 30 makes the transition from dating to engaged to married more difficult. When you have some relationship experience, you see all that can go wrong and hopefully learn something about making it right.

    I lived with my now new husband for two years prior to getting married, and I have to say that these past few weeks even have felt much more like now we are in this for the long haul. I think any living together pair who thinks "a piece of paper will not make a difference" is likely wrong. It's not a piece of paper, it's a bona-fide commitment and yes you have to be less selfish to make it work. 

  • I think that is very much stereotyping.  I think different people adjust to married life differently.  For H and I, it was an incredably easy adjustment- even though we had been long distance the majority of our relationship (he moved away to college 8 months into our relationship), we were both still in college(age factor), and I had STILL LIVED WITH MY PARENTS prior to getting married.

    Maybe I am sensitive due to the fact that people expected me to have rose colored glasses. H and I had done a LOT of studying on marriage and successful marriages.  

  • image swtangelastar:
    got pregnant the night I got married

     

    Yikes! This was one of my biggest fears! Well, still is (getting pregnant too early) as I was 19 when we got married.  I was weeks away from 20, but 19 nonetheless. 

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