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Vent? Maybe I'm the one out of line...

My brother broke up with his girlfriend a week ago.  IMHO, it was nice to see the end of a very slow, painful to watch, passive agressive demise.   

Since that time, she has e-mailed my sisters and I countless numbers of time, and my little sister finally broke down and had coffee with her.  The subject? "I want to come to mothers day at your family's."

Are you f-ing kidding me?  You want to drive the 2.5 hours, stay at my parents house for the weekend, corner every person there for advice, and make another family event all about you? I understand the need for closure, and I understand that she is very hurt, but this strikes me as seriously manipulative.  

I hope my brother is wise enough to reccommend she spend the day with her own mom. 

 

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Tales of Bridal Alterations

Re: Vent? Maybe I'm the one out of line...

  • Recently went through kinda the same thing when my brother and his girlfriend broke up after like 6 years of dating. I consider her a sister and they ended on good terms though. She wouldn't ever invite herself to a family event and if she did she wouldn't be all woe is me about it. This chick has issues.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • She doesn't want "closure". She got her closure when she was dumped. She wants him to realize his mistake and take her back. Either that, or like you said, she wants to make the day about her.

    I'd threaten my siblings with bodily harm if they invited her. Then all of you, as a family, need to cease communication with her, unless she gets back together with your brother. But, again, I'd threaten him with bodily injury if he brought her back. Especially on mothers day.

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  • This is the type of thing that desperate girls do.

    It has nothing to do with closure....all to do with desperation!



  • WahooWahoo member
    Ancient Membership 2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    I hope your sister said no freaking way!

    It's not fair to your brother to have his ex at family events. 

    I have loved Loved LOVED some of my sister's ex boyfriends (she is married now to another great guy), but its not my relationship.

     

    image "Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.
  • No, you're definitely not the one out of line. That request is bizarre and ridiculous. NO WAY should your family allow her to be there. It's unhealthy and unfair to your brother.
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  • I can just imagine how that conversation went.

    "You want to come to Mothers' Day weekend at our family's place, the family of the guy who just dumped you?  Are you nuts?!"

    image
  • No, you're not out of line, and I think it would be incredibly weird if she came.  Seriously, the only reason I can come up with for her even wanting to do this is to try desperately to make your brother see what he's "missing." 
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • I actually stayed with a guy for a while when we were on our way out but were too lazy to break up. The main reason? I loved his family, but couldn't stand him. Nutty? Sure, but would I have invited myself to a family event after we broke up? Heeeeck no. 
  • Why do you think you're out of line? Recently my husband's ex-wife tried to wriggle her way into our lives as "no longer his ex-wife, but his friend." Bah! That lasted until she had a psychotic moment, and we had to put a stop to it.

     It is not out of line to reccomend to exes of any type, to concentrate on their own families, and stay the heck out of yours. 

    What you're experiencing is manipulation at its most irritating. 

  • OK... ummm Mother's Day is about your MOTHER. I don't know about you all but my Mom would be really hurt if we let all that drama come around on a day that is for her.
  • That is strange that she would ask to come over.  I hope your bro/sis put her in her place.
  • I agree completely with an earlier poster: desperation. End communication with her and hope (can you talk to him?) your brother does, too. If she's that clingy with him and his family, the relationship has not been healthful for her.
  • Oh heyyyyy, that sounds exactly like my SIL. Chick is nuts, and super has issues. I know where you're coming from, but the only people who can seriously say no are your parents and your brother. Take solace in the fact that a lot of people know where you stand.

    Take last Father's Day for instance: My SIL's father is currently in jail for some seriously f--ked reasons, that I personally think he should fry for... So, my SIL took my fathers day and bashed in the head with the claw end of a hammer. She cried, she moped, she asked MY father to be a surrogate father to her after causing nothing but problems in the months before this, and she took shots at me every chance she got. She ruined my dad's day to get what she wanted... Ugh. You're not out of line, really, you're not.

  • The drama never ends...

    I got an e-mail this week asking a) how are wedding plans going? and b) can you ask your mom if she has read my e-mails?

    Again, are you kidding?  I am not comfortable telling you about any plans b/c I am not comfortable inviting you, and b) I'm not my mom's secretary nor do I want to be in the middle.  I have a feeling it's a question asking if she is invited to the shower in 3 weeks. 

    Um, no? I do not want to disrespect my brother's decision, nor am I flying across the country so you can steal my thunder a la my SIL's baby shower (she and my brother had a fight that morning, and I know my SIL was pretty upset about the drama). 

    I replied with a matter of fact e-mail stating that I hadn't thought much about the wedding lately (due to some major budget problems and layoffs at work-that's it's own big ball of stress) and suggesting that if she's curious about my mom's response, she should ask directly, not rely on a middle man.  Diplomatic?  Yes.  Warm and fuzzy and what she wants to hear?  Probably not. 

    You are all saints for letting me vent.

    [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/2eb8fet.jpg[/IMG]

    Tales of Bridal Alterations
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