We have been married for a little over a year, and lately I have been really unhappy. I don't know if it's me that's causing this unhappiness or what.
The situation is that DH doesn't contribute to the household income because he is a FT grad student. I work a FT job that I don't particularly like, plus a 2nd job, and I'm a PT grad student, and we make ends meet financially, but I don't feel like he is contributing his "fair share" to the relationship, whatever that means.
The agreement was supposed to be that he would contribute 50% to our "responsibilities" even if that 50% was not a monetary contribution. Like he goes grocery shopping, and he is supposed to be doing repairs and other things to our house that we would otherwise have to hire an outside person to do. Right now he is working on a large repair, and it is crawling along at snail pace. I get upset every night when I come home and see how little progress he has made during the day, while I'm sitting at a job I hate just so we can pay the bills.
I told him that I expect him to be working 40 hours a week outside of school on the things that I can't do because I"m here sitting in a cube for 40 hours a week. But I don't believe that he actually works on this repair for 8 hours a day. He goes to the gym, and he watches TV while he has lunch, and he has to do work on his mom's house, there's always an excuse. And so I come home and I get upset. And then he gets mad at me for being upset. It never ends!
Is this unreasonable? I feel like I'm on the verge of tears 24/7, and I am increasingly thinking real bad things about my marriage. He thinks I'm being "a taskmaster" and being irrational, unreasonable, all that. I keep thinking that I should just not put my paycheck into the communal pot, and then what would he do? I don't want to emasculate him and make him feel like he is not a man because he is not making money. But its causing some SERIOUS problems for me. And I hate being the taskmaster.