Kinda long so be prepared ladies.
Mk, well the FI just pissed me off yesterday over something stupid but he did it in a way that is so familiar. When I mentioned having flip flops as favors at our wedding he responds, "Won't it be cold?" (in a snotty you're a moron tone-at least to me) and I said, "well this march 5th it was quite warm, like 65." (still trying to be calm) him, "Yeah well then a week later it was like 30 degrees and snow warnings" I said, "well honey.. the temperature isn't super important since ladies will be taking their shoes off reguardless and this way they don't have to walk out onto the terrace or to have a smoke barefooted.." (!!!) his response? "Well just don't get mad if no one uses them". I got frustrated at this and he later said well I was just offering differing opinions and other ideas. But my point is.. he wasn't! He was just being rude and shooting me down like he freaking always does. He always claims we're having a debate.. and in my mind he's just being *** rude and has nothing positive to say. He also then later claimed that he said it was a good idea but he definitely did not. So I'm wondering if maybe he just doesn't realize he's being so negative? Idk but it's reallllly starting to get on my nerves.
Most of the time we argue about housework and sex. And these arguments always go the same. He just points out all the times I've turned him down or everything he does around the house.. which is uhm nothing. Maybe he'll put his dishes in the dishwasher after having to ask me if they're dirty instead of just looking in the dishwasher. (Why do I have to tell him they're dirty.. usually I don't even remember.. here's an idea.. OPEN THE EFFING DISHWASHER AND SEE!!!) And with sex I mean it's getting better but we used to have sex like 3 and 4 times a day and as someone recovering from an eating disorder whenever he turns me down all I can think is I'm a hideous mf-er and he must hate me or I'm doing something wrong. And when I tell him this, he's just like well I don't like to be turned down either.. I don't think he understands..
Our arguments are just so damn predictable. He sees everything so black and white (he's a software developer and has a very linear mind) and it seems like he has a very skewed tally mark contest going on in his mind and I just don't get it it. I really feel like he wants to help, he just forgets and when he gets home from work he's too damn tired. I'm a student and I think he doesn't see it as as hard of a job and granted I do have more off time than he does and right now I'm actually taking a semester off. (Please don't call me lazy, believe me it was needed. Family and friends were concerned they were going to come home and find me hanging somewhere.)
I'm just so confused. Any of you guys have trouble getting through to your significant others? It's like arguing with a brick wall. And I'm really concerned I'm going to start reallllly resenting him.