My mom has no family left other than her brother and his three children. When he was in his early 20s, he went to prison for statutory rape. My grandma was alive then, and she made sure to tell everyone that he was set up. He was innocent. What she didn't tell everyone was that he raped a girl before that, but the girl didn't want to go through a trial, so he was never charged.
He got out of prison in his late 20s/early 30s. Nothing changed. My grandma (who I adored) was a complete enabler. He was her baby boy, and she believed that he was a good, innocent person. She was blind to his actions. He met his ex-wife shortly after being released, and they both lived with my grandparents and she became pregnant.
My grandma was diagnosed with colon cancer shortly before he was released. During her final stages of life, my uncle was stealing her pain medication. He made her suffer while he became an addict. I was 9 years old, and I knew that it was disgusting and wrong. When she died, he and his wife lived with my grandpa who had been on disability for decades at that point. He had a mental illness and received SS as well as my grandma's retirement benefits. My uncle and his wife didn't take my grandpa to the doctor like they should have, and never bought his medication. He had two minor heart attacks over one weekend, and they refused to take him to the hospital. He finally had a massive heart attack, and was hospitalized for a month. He survived thankfully.
After that incident, my mom took my grandpa (and his income) out of the home. My uncle's wife had the nerve to say, "You are really putting us in a financial bind now." Neither worked and they lived off my grandpa's limited income as well as government assistance. The state was going to bring charges agains the both of them for elder abuse, but nothing ever came of it.
Shortly after this time, my uncle began to see another woman. When she found out he was married, she broke it off. He broke into her home one day and raped her and stole some things. He went back to prison for about a year or so. Great sentencing IL.
When he returned, he moved back in with his wife. They conceived their third child. Really smart. A couple of years later, my uncle was in full addict mode again, and he attempted to rape his oldest daughter's little friend who was staying the night. She was 10 years old. The little girl was thankfully saved because she was smart enough to scream like hell and RUN! He was sentenced to prision again for six years. Once again, IL, you suck!
My uncle is a manipulator and liar. He tells people what they want to hear in order to get what he wants. He did this to my mom his entire prison term (every prison term would be the better way to say it) by claiming he found God. I told her he was manipulating her and that he was just setting up the bait in order to get money and have a place to live when he is released. It worked. I told my mom she was making a huge mistake. Give him a week, and he will be back to normal. I told her he was dangerous. He was going to rape a little girl. Does she really think that he would not try to rape her or worse? I told her that as long as he was there, my family would NOT be going to visit. I have to protect myself and my family above all else. I have never liked my uncle because he is a scumbag. She was upset, but thought that she could accommodate us both when and if we come to visit. I told her I would not be in the same room as him. I never want to see him again.
Well, he moved in for a short time and left. His first night home, he was on their computer looking at internet porn. I told my mom that was a huge red flag. The last thing a sex offender needs to do is be looking at sexual content. He moved in with his ex-MIL. He claimed that he was kicked out by the landlord because they don't allow sex offenders in their buildings. My mom just found out it was because he was doing drugs again and tried to burn down the apartment. Not just that, but he was stalking one of their neighbors and looking through her windows. It scared his ex-MIL to the point that she told him he had to leave. She's absolutely terrified now.
He moved in with his 17 year old daughter and her friend. He stole money and was kicked out once again. He went to his ex-wife's house and threatened to kill her. He was picked up by the police and they told him to just go somewhere else. IL is really looking stellar, right? He went back to my parents house. The first night he was there, my mom woke up to the hallway flooded because he turned on the faucet and it overflowed. He tried to enter her bedroom multiple times that night. When she woke up, she saw whipped cream everywhere and a knife laying on the floor. He said he was sleep walking.
My parents agreed that he had to leave TODAY! When my dad woke up, he had poured bleach all over the place, including in their dog's water bowl. He once again claimed that he was sleep walking. He is a really hateful, spiteful person. He is not sleep walking. He is on drugs. He is doing things to be spiteful because that is who he is. My mom told him he had to leave. She said she didn't owe him anything. His response was, "And you owe your kids something? Why not me?" He actually compared himself to my brothers and I. (Dh and I are completely independent and have never asked for anything. My brothers are a completely different story. My mom enables them very much like my grandma enabled my uncle. The only difference is that they aren't criminals. . .yet.)
My mom called me today crying because she doesn't know what to do. She said that she feels sorry for him and is considering letting him back in. I told her she is an idiot. He is going to end up killing someone, and I am not convinced that he didn't intend to hurt her or my father the other night. He had a knife and tried to enter her room on several occasions. I told her this before he was released. He is not on parole or anything, so he is completely unsupervised.
He is a sociopath, period. It is just a matter of time before he ends up back in prison, but who knows how serious the next crime will be. My mom feels guilty, but she doesn't need to. He had the same opportunities as her. I told her that some people are just bad. There is no reason other than that they are inherently bad people. He's a sex offender. Those type of offenders, IMO, DO NOT CHANGE! His behavior has shown that he is not rehabilitated like he'd like everyone to believe.
She is scared to walk to her car in the morning because she's afraid he will be waiting for her, but yet she is still considering letting him back in the house. WTF is wrong with her? She believes he has a mental illness and that somewhat excuses his behavior. He is all the family she has left, and she feels like her mom would have wanted her to take care of him like she did when she was alive. That is the real issue here. She feels like she will be letting her mom down.
How can I get it through my mom's head that she has NOTHING to feel sorry for? If she continues to let him around her, she will lose all of her kids because we all refuse to be around him. We all have kids and it is dangerous to be around him. I guess this is more of a vent than anything, but I need to know what to say to her to make her understand he is dangerous and he will eventually turn his aggression towards her if she doesn't cut him off completely. Everyone, including her pastor, has told her to never let him in her house again. I don't know what else to say to her. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated.