Trouble in Paradise
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Is it just in my head?

Sometime I feel like I am totally nuts.  I don't know if it is the hormones or what, but I feel like I am on a rollercoaster of emotions.  I am super excited to have a baby.  My issue is that I know my husband can't understand all that I am going thru, but I feel like he thinks I am nuts.  I find myself trying to hide how I feel or not speaking up, for fear that it's just my hormones talking.  I also am not sure if I am being paranoid about him being a bit more distant or if he is.  When I vent to others, they say they don't know what to say.  I know there is no "normal" pregnancy or way of dealing with things, but this is really confusing.  I feel like I am in a battle with myself to figure out what is a legit feeling or concern and what is just my hormones acting up.  Anyone else feel this way?

Re: Is it just in my head?

  • Have you talked to your H about the way you are feeling? What was his response?
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  • Not sure I understand your post.  What feelings are you hiding?  What are you not speaking?  Why would your husband think you're nuts?
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    Running outside...


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  • Yes, it is your hormones(there were several times during my pregnancies that DH looked at me like I was nuts but then he bought me ice cream and I calmed down).  They can really mess with your perception.  However, you need to SPEAK UP!  You can't expect your H to know EXACTLY what you are going thru.  He isn't carrying a baby and everything that goes a long with it.  Again you need to SPEAK UP, he doesn't have a mind reading hat.  

     

  • I'd talk to your H about your feelings and your doctor about your hormones.

    There may not be much you can do about the hormones, but hopefully your doctor can give you some clarity as to what to expect, and at what point you should be concerned about the severity of mood swings. I haven't heard of someone having hormonal mood swings so extreme they don't feel like they can communicate normally with another person -- is it just your H?

    And I'll also say, it's unrealistic to expect your H to share anything remotely like the experience you are having in your pregnancy. He just can't. If you're feeling like you need more empathy or support, do seek it out, just understand that your H can't do it all. Have him tell you what things he'd like to be involved in (painting the nursery? picking out gear?), and focus on those with him.

  • I know it's nowhere near the same thing, but I get VERY emotional when I'm on my period. I have it all: the paranoia, the meanness. Sometimes I'll just lash out at DH for no reason at all.

    Luckily, I have a very understanding and patient husband. He usually knows when it's my time, but I make sure to warn him in advance. It makes my feeling crazy a whole lot easier, knowing that he knows it's still me underneath it all.

    Just talk to your H. Tell him to expect you to be a little loopy and ask him to be understanding. I'm sure he will be!

  • Ya know what?  it doesn't MATTER if it's in your head.

    I know a few people who are on mood stabilizing meds because of hormones.  These people KNOW that their hormones make them a bit 'crazy'...they even know when it's coming.  But that doesn't change the fact that they're 'off' for that amount of time and their behavior isn't 'normal'.

    The rollercoaster is normal.  Expecting your husband to understand exactly what your body is doing is not normal--any more than you can understand part of what's going on in his head as he watches his wife get ready to have a baby.

    I'd really reccomend you talk to your doc and see a counselor to sort through what you're feeling.

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