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Are you estranged from your mother?

Hi. I'm working on a story for a UK-based magazine. If you are currently estranged from your mother, I would appreciate anything you might be able to share on the subject. For example;
1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life?
2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now?
3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again?
Thanks.
«1

Re: Are you estranged from your mother?

  • 1.  She is mentally, physically and emotionally abused my sisters and I growing.  Much of it has to do with her untreated mental illness (bi-polar with borderline schizophrenia)

    2.  There have been a few times that I felt like maybe I could give her another chance.  But after going through counseling and realizing that those feelings are not healthy or productive I learned to let them.  Yes I am happier when she is not involved in my life.

    3.  Get consistent long term treatment for her metal illness and sincerely appologize for the horrible things she did to me and my sisters.
    [IMG]http://i54.tinypic.com/15nq14h.jpg[/IMG] [IMG]http://i51.tinypic.com/e0mquh.jpg[/IMG]

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  • Yeesh sorry for the typos......must wake up it is too early to be typing!
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  • my story is almnost exactly like above response however my mom is not mentally ill but is with a partner that is emotionally abusive to her and she tollerates it.  Her partner was emotionally abusive to us children for a few years until we grew up and moved out.  Now none of us has contact with her.
  • Thanks for your replies, TakYelgif and michiganauntie. I'm wondering if I could ask you a few more questions off-list. My email address is [email protected]. When you email I can tell you more about the article (and me). Thanks again.
  • Hi Heather - I appreciate you sharing that. Could you email me at [email protected]? I can tell you more about the magazine article (and about me). Thanks.
  • 1. She essentially had a second family with my stepfather and my sister and I were pretty much only good for babysitting when we were teens. She stole my credit and ruined it.  I am 27 years old and still cleaning it up.  She is crazy, lives in her own world and has an agenda.

    2. I am much happier now.  She is just toxic to me.

    3. Not at this point.

  • Hi. I'm working on a story for a UK-based magazine. If you are currently estranged from your mother, I would appreciate anything you might be able to share on the subject. For example;


    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? My mom left when i was 2 years old. no one knew where she was or if she was still alive. So she made that choice.
    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? i always questioned why she was not in my life and after seeing her and her telling me "im so sorry" and me forgiving her i decided that i wasnt going to put myself thru that anymore. So no i never regretted it one bit. I am also alot happier w/o her!
    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Nothing at all. I dont feel as if she deserves to be in my life, When i was younger i would pray that she loved me one day and everything would be okay. But then as i got older i decided that she wasnt the kind of mother i wanted.
    Thanks.
  • I Moved away from my mother about 15 yrs ago (from Cali to NY) and only visited about once or twice a year. Then about 2 yrs ago I got PG and her behavior unbearable to the point I could no longer tolerate her. My mother is untreated bi-polar and has a substance abuse problem on top of it. Even living 3000 miles away from her she was as big a financial and emotional drain on me as when I lived with her. It wasn't until I was having my own child that I realized I didn't have to tolerate her mania and guilt trips. My best friend (who also knows my mother well) and family say I seem much calmer since we've stopped speaking. I haven't spoken to her in about a year and have no desire to speak to her now. When I do think of her I have a feeling of dread. I know I will probably be forced to deal with her at some point and it gives me a stomach ache. The only thing she could do to really get back in my life is to get some serious counseling and meds. She needs some serious behavior modification.
  • Thank you so much to those who have shared their stories here. If you haven't emailed me at [email protected] I invite you to please do so. I can tell you more about this article I'm writing. I would love to hear from anyone with a story to tell.
  • 1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image littleittybitty:
    image Edie_Sedgwick:

    1. What led you to cut your mom out of your life? Final straw was my divorce. She took his side. I spent my whole life trying to live up to her expectations. That's why I married him in the first place, I've come to see in retrospect. He was a "respectable" person who would -- in turn -- make me respectable. She wanted me to be married. During divorce proceedings, I cut her out completely. I realized she was mentally ill through counseling and she projected a lot onto her children.


    2. Where their any times you regretted/second-guessed that decision? Or are you happier now? Many. I still go through times when she'll try to revive our relationship, and I end up getting burned again. Presently, our relationship consists only of speaking about necessary things. I blocked her e-mails because it's easier for her to lash out at me in writing. She avoids confrontation.


    3. Is there anything your mom could do to get back in your life again? Get help. Learn not to blame others. Honestly, I don't see it happening. She's set in her ways, and she enjoys her role as she sees it: The martyr.

  • image playgirl74:
    Thanks for your replies, TakYelgif and michiganauntie. I'm wondering if I could ask you a few more questions off-list. My email address is [email protected]. When you email I can tell you more about the article (and me). Thanks again.
  • image playgirl74:
    Thanks for your replies, TakYelgif and michiganauntie. I'm wondering if I could ask you a few more questions off-list. My email address is [email protected]. When you email I can tell you more about the article (and me). Thanks again.
  • image playgirl74:
    Thanks for your replies, TakYelgif and michiganauntie. I'm wondering if I could ask you a few more questions off-list. My email address is [email protected]. When you email I can tell you more about the article (and me). Thanks again.
  • image playgirl74:
    Thanks for your replies, TakYelgif and michiganauntie. I'm wondering if I could ask you a few more questions off-list. My email address is [email protected]. When you email I can tell you more about the article (and me). Thanks again.
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