Sex & Romance
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What's wrong with me?!

I'll start by saying that I'm new here so I'm sorry if this is a topic that has been repeatedly covered! I have been married for 3 weeks and have had no sex drive for about a year. I was attributing it to the stress of working, going to grad school and wedding planning. I thought that, after the wedding was over, things would go back to normal, but they haven't. DH is great about it and doesn't act like it's a big deal, but I'm sure that it is. I've heard of natural supplements that can help increase a woman's sex drive but I'm hesitant about taking anything because we will start TTC in a few months. Hopefully I'll have my sex drive back by then!
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Re: What's wrong with me?!

  • Are you on BC right now? That could be doing it.
  • I've been on BC for almost 15 years and have never had this problem before. I actually just stopped taking the pill this week, but this has been going on for far longer than a week, so I know that's not it either.
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  • How has your sex drive been in the past? Mine used to be super high then I slowed down.
  • Is there anything that may help you get in the mood?  Say a couple glasses of wine, watching a porno with your DH, anything that turns you on?  Something to relax to get things off your mind.  If the problem is stress sex can really help relieve it.
  • Maybe you've been on the same BC for years, but your body's hormones are changing as you get older.  Talk to your gyno - I suspect the BCP may be causing the problem.  Also, once you quit taking BC like you have, it can take months for the hormones to completely get out of your body.

    Also, you gotta fake it to make it!  Sometimes you just have to make yourself have sex, and then your drive ends up coming back.  Since you're TTC soon, I'd lose the pills and use condoms or another physical barrier  instead.
  • Hi725Hi725 member
    I had the same problem a few years ago. It was depression. I needed antidepressants for a few months to shake me out of it. Do you have any other symptoms? Weight loss or gain? Trouble sleeping? Irritability? Stomach issues?
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  • Birth control would definetly be an issue if your on it. Try working out more often- it raises testosterone.
  • I almost never feel like having sex... after work, cleaning, and kids I have no interest in anything but sleep at the end of the day, but dh knows that to get me in the mood is to give me a good long back massage. It eases all the stress away, and once I feel more relaxed, I get in the mood way faster.

    If you think it's because you are stressed, try taking a long hot bath, lighting some candles, or reading a book to take your mind off things. Once your mind slows down, it will become easier to focus on sex.
  • Thanks for all the advice/thoughts! I'm pretty sure it's not a depression issue because I have no other symptoms (and nothing to be depressed about). I don't think it's stress anymore either because I have very little on my plate right now. I think I might talk with my doctor...
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  • Have sex, whether you feel like it or not.  Feeling good afterward will make you want to feel good more and soon...et cetera...more feel good leads to wanting more feel good. 
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