Sex & Romance
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I hate sex :(

Ugh. Whats wrong with me. I used to enjoy it, but within the past year I have had zero sex drive. Normally, if I just get started, Im fine and I end up enjoying it. But lately I don't even enjoy it once we get going. DH is starting to get upset because he thinks its him. Its really not. I try to get in the mood, I just can't. Anyways, any suggestions? I'm going to the Dr. on Mon. for my annual, and I'm wondering if I should bring up my lack of a sex drive.

Re: I hate sex :(

  • Yes bring it up with your gyno.  Also are you in HBC?  A lot of BC can really kill a womans sex drive.  You could discuss different types of bc with your gyno to try and find something that wont kill your sex drive.
  • BCPs and antidepressants are known for killing your sex drive...as is stress, illness and lack of sleep.
  • As I just posted to another lady with this issue, sometimes I find that I have been preoccupied or stressed and didn't even realize that it was the problem with my sex drive or enjoyment. So, I get "back into my body" by focusing on me with a relaxing bath, scented candles, lotions, a good read, music, etc., and really focus on the sensations. Soon, I'm relaxed and ready!

    I will say, however, that even this doesn't work if you have a source of chronic stress, or even multiple sources, or the health or sleep problems mentioned above. So, definitely evaluate your life and everything that could be contributing to this. Also ask yourself, how is my emotional intimacy with my husband? It could be that there are relationship issues beneath the surface that are making you feel disconnected with your husband, and connection is a big part of why most women enjoy sex. I hope you get it figured out!
  • I have been in the same situation that you are in right now, so I can completely relate. Went from loving it, to not being into it at all. I know for me it was stress - teaching all day, working a second job, planning our wedding, and going to grad school. I never felt sexy, or in the mood. A birth control I was on for awhile also made me extremely depressed and moody.

    I now find that the more we mess around the more I want to. Or when I think I am not in the mood but we start into it anyway I realize I want it.

    I know this is a tough issue, as it was for my husband and I. Definitely mention it to your doc - I did last summer and she recommended some herbal boosters too.
  • What form of BC are you using? The pill can destroy your sex drive.
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  • This something you wish upon your enemies.  I hope you can get it back.  Try introducing a vibrator into the routine.  DH shouldn't mind.
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