September 2009 Weddings
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Adoption meeting

So I met with 2 adoption social workers in my office today to just ask questions and get general info about the process.  Me and H are going to try to start the application process in the fall.  I found out H's old criminal charges won't be an issue (they are minor and from over 1o yrs ago, but was worried just the same).  They said that there is a good chance we could get a baby under 1 because unfortunately a lot of people have been giving up babies under the Safe Haven law in our state.  They told me they will probably try to talk me into older kids or multiples, and open adoption.  Me and H will have to do some discussions to see what we can handle.  They also said we don't have to have the baby's room ready per se for the home inspection, but it might not hurt to have a crib or bassinet and car seat, and maybe baby gates, safety features, etc..  Some people get calls to take a baby that night.

We also need to get a carbon monoxide detector (which we should probably have anyway).

 

I already knew this, but in MA if you adopt through the state, they pay legal fees and college tuition at a MA state school.

Anyone else on the board considering adopting?

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Re: Adoption meeting

  • My hubby and I want to adopt and have our own children. We both have close family members and friends that were adopted (some in the states and some not) and we couldn't imagine our family without adopting. We haven't started TTC yet, but as far as I know we are able to have our own too. 

    I'm excited for you guys! It will be amazing, no doubt! Good luck!!! 

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  • We're not considering adoption.  I would like to, but it's something H is not really into the idea, but would consider it if we couldn't get pregnant.

    But how exciting is this for you!!??!! I'm excited for you.  It's just like finding out you're pregnant in my opinion.  Best of luck with the entire adoption process when you start.  Smile

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  • Thank you! It was an encouraging meeting. I was glad to be able to talk to someone who works in that area, one of the the women had actually adopted through our dept.  It's funny, even though I work there I have little interaction with them.  (We do have  large office, and I work primarily with teens).

    Can't wait to talk to H about it when he gets home.

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  • I'd love to adopt.  H wants his own kids first.  I think if we are unable to have biological children, we'll go this route, and depending on how any pregnancy goes, it will be a likely means of extension for our family (health issues make infertility a real possibility for me, and pregnancy will likely be high risk and traumatic).  

    Also, this probably won't surprise you, but I am interested in bi or trans racial adoption.  H is not so into it.  I think we'd be a great family for one of these kids because their cousins will be biracial (SIL is Jamaican) so the family/ cultural identity issues could be lessened.  

    He'll probably loosen up about this as he gets older- he is mostly into wanting a bio-son right now.  

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  • Congrats on such a great meeting! My cousin is adopted and I would definitely consider that as an option for us, but I would like us to at least have one biological child if we can. That's awesome that they pay legal fees and tuition in MA, too. Adoption is such a wonderful thing, I'm glad it's looking favorable for you guys!

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  • That is awesome you had a good meeting!  I've thought about it in the past but we haven't really talked about kids too much yet but I have said in the past that it is something I would definitely be open to.  One of my cousins is from Russia and we have friends who have an adopted DD. 

    I guess we live in a safe haven state as well which I didn't realize. 

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  • That's great, I'm glad the meetings went well! Adoption is always something I've considered, but I don't know if it will ever happen.

    H and I have talked about it, and we would like to try and have bio-children 1st. If something were to happen to make that impossible, then we would go the adoption route. However, in WI, adoption can be very difficult.

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  • im glad that the conversation went so well for you mel. im excited for you to get the process going!

    i guess i was a little shocked when you said sometimes couples get a call and get a baby that night. im probably naive (and watch too much tv) i thought you would need to go through a screening process with the state as well as birth parents. do birth parents not pick the couple that their child goes to? or am i entirely reading too much into that.

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  • Thanks for the support ladies. 

    Stees--when I said you could get a call to take a baby that night - I meant after the whole screening process and you have been approved.

     

    Through State adoption, the birth parents do not typically pick the birth parents. In this case, the parents have surrendered rights or had them terminated. That is more typically done through private agencies where a pregnant birth mom goes to adoption agency.

     

    mary--we are also open to transracial adoption.

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  • thanks for the clarification mel. i had no clue.

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  • Aww mel, I'm so happy for you!!!  best of luck with everything! :D
  • Congrats on the great meeting! I'm super happy for you!

    A very good friend of mine is an adoptive mother and it was such a beautiful process, it really touches my heart. I watch her and her son everyday and am so happy they found each other. I hope it works out as beautifully for you and your H Smile

  • Congrats, that's awesome!! Being adopted myself, I am a huge supporter of this. I was very blessed to be placed into a great home and it looks like your child will be blessed as well!!
  • How exciting!  I'm very happy for you guys for making the decision to go through this process - I'll be anxious to hear more details when the time comes!
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  • Congratulations, how exciting! 

    I have quite a few friends who are adopted and I'm so happy every day that their parents adopted them, or I wouldn't have have them in my life today.  It's a great thing.

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  • Obviously we're not considering it, but I just wanted to commend you on it! That is a wonderful thing, you will be great parents!?
  • That's awesome news for you!  Congratulations Smile

    Right now, we don't even want kids period so we've never really talked about adoption, but I don't know if I would want to.  It scares me more to raise an adopted kid than a biological kid.

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  • Congrats, Mel! That's really exciting. 

    Keep us posted.  

  • Thanks, everyone.  I am getting really excited.  I have pretty much always wanted to adopt.  I talked with Dave last night, and am very excited that he is as into this as me.

    We may keep our eyes peeled this summer for good deals on cribs, safety gates, etc.

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  • I think it's fabulous:) I also had no idea MA had such a great policy regarding help with local college tuition (I'm from RI).

    Congrats on getting things in place!

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