September 2009 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

How to say NO to in-laws

Let me preface this by saying that my in-laws are nice people. We generally spend a good deal of time with them, but they can be the over-bearing type. (For example, MIL wanted to host the bachelor party at her house). They love being involved in every detail of our lives, but sometimes they do not understand boundaries.

Anyway, as I've mentioned before, DH is turning 30 next month, so I'm getting a group of friends together to go out in DC and celebrate. It's a surprise and some of his friends are coming from out of town. At this point, at least 5 people will be staying with us that weekend, one of them being DH's older sis.

Last night I was on the phone with this sister, and she said "So, is this a thing that you're inviting parents to? They'd really like to come". (She often likes to be their spokesperson). Uhh, well I definitely wasn't going to invite his parents. Not to disclude them from the celebration, but I mean we're going to be at a bar all night drinking. I just don't see it being a fun environment with his super religious 60 year old parents in the mix. I kinda said that to her in a much nicer way, but I have a feeling they're going to come anyway. I don't get this...and like I said before, our house is pretty much spoken for as far as guests go and we really only have one extra bed. Not to mention the awkwardness of them being at a bar with us?

I just don't think people are going to relax and have a good time if they're around, but I don't know how to tell them not to come???

Help:(

 

Re: How to say NO to in-laws

  • I guess I dont see it as a big deal, and I mean, if its for his 30th, and they've shown interest in going, knowing what the plan's going to be, I would say sure, why not!

    If the parents want to come, let them come!  I mean, I think you're all adult enough to drink with your parents now, right?  I mean, we do - all the time!  hell, my mom makes jello-shots for family parties and is always offering us drinks whenever we go to her house.

     

  • why dont you say... this is basically for friends only since we'll be doing out in the bar scene where i dont really think ILs will enjoy themselves. But, i'll call MIL and see if we can all go out to dinner (or you could have them over) so that we can celebrate his birthday with them too. I dont want to exclude them by any means, but I don't think what I have planned currently is their cup of tea, i think dinner is more appropriate.

    or something similar. unless of course you think your dh WANTS them their regardless of the awkwardness. i mean, i know for sure mine would have no problem with me setting up something different with them, but thats your call on what you think he'd want since its all a suprise.

    [IMG]http://i39.tinypic.com/2pzxst3.jpg[/IMG]
  • I would just make sure they totally understand what the plans are and that you will be at the bar all night drinking.  If they don't feel comfortable doing it, then they probably won't come. But go ahead and invite them.
  • image MrsMcC091909:

    I guess I dont see it as a big deal, and I mean, if its for his 30th, and they've shown interest in going, knowing what the plan's going to be, I would say sure, why not!

    If the parents want to come, let them come!  I mean, I think you're all adult enough to drink with your parents now, right?  I mean, we do - all the time!  hell, my mom makes jello-shots for family parties and is always offering us drinks whenever we go to her house.

     

    Yeah, I mean we definitely drink all the time at their house too. I guess it just feels awkward to have them there with us at the bar though when I know it's going to get pretty out of control.

  • I'm with MB, I don't really see a big deal with them coming.  Then again, I invited my IL's (at that point my boyfriends parents) out to the bars with us for my 21st birthday. haha
    [ <a target="_blank" title="http://tinyurl.com/972uqu" href="http://tinyurl.com/972uqu"> Jill & Doug September 6, 2009 </a> ][ <a target="_blank" title="http://lighthousediaries.blogspot.com" href="http://lighthousediaries.blogspot.com/"> The Lighthouse Diaries </a>]

    [IMG]http://i52.tinypic.com/nvdwg1.jpg[/IMG]
  • I think it would be awkward too, i'm with you Rach.  I'd tell the sister that this is specifically for friends (and that includes her), and you'd much rather have a private, "special" dinner with the parents at some other time.
    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/xn4wns.jpg[/IMG]

    "My best friend is a pitbull."

    <a href="http://www.thebump.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Ovulation Calculator"><img src="http://global.thebump.com/tickers/tt137dbe.aspx" alt=" Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker" border="0" /></a>
  • image zachsgirl91809:
    I would just make sure they totally understand what the plans are and that you will be at the bar all night drinking.  If they don't feel comfortable doing it, then they probably won't come. But go ahead and invite them.
    I kind of agree with this. That way, you're not the bad guy by not inviting them, and it's their decision whether or not they're comfortable with the atmosphere.
  • image amelianguy:
    image zachsgirl91809:
    I would just make sure they totally understand what the plans are and that you will be at the bar all night drinking.  If they don't feel comfortable doing it, then they probably won't come. But go ahead and invite them.
    I kind of agree with this. That way, you're not the bad guy by not inviting them, and it's their decision whether or not they're comfortable with the atmosphere.

    True. I definitely don't want to be the bad guy. I'll maybe mention something like having a family dinner at another time and hope they go for that!

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards