My husband and I really need some help regarding his parents and are willing to tap all resources and that means sending this out to you gals out there who are reading this.
We have been married for 3.5 years. Now have an 11 week old boy. My husband's parents were both born in Taiwan but have lived in the US for over 35 years. My DH was raised with some chinese values but I would describe him as a fairly typical american boy. I am caucasian Catholic. My ancestors have been in the US since about 1900.
DH and I have had some "cultural" issues with his parents for all of our marriage but it has really boiled over in the last few weeks and led up to a terrible confrontation today. Here's the jist: In-laws believe in something called filial piety. It basically means that children are to take care of their parents, love and respect them and consider them in everything that they do. My in-laws have taken this to the extreme and have esentially declared themselves dictators over my DH and I. They claim that all holidays (even Christian events despite the fact that they are not Christian) are to be spent with them. My DH and I are to never host my family members in our house. We are not allowed to baptize our son. The list goes on and on. They are totally dogmatic in these beliefs and will not budge or compromise on ANYTHING. According to them, when I married my DH, they became my family. I no longer have a biological family. Of course, my husband does not have these beliefs (I would not have married him if he did) and he tried to tell them this but they absolutely do not listen. We would like to find a way to make our relationship with my in-laws work. The terminal alternative is to cut them out of our lives. These issues are causing us a ton of stress and for now, our marriage is totally fine. For now and God-willing, for always.
So here are the questions: Is there anyone out there going through something similar with their in-laws (Asain or not)? Is there a family counselor out there that can help equip DH and I with the tools we need to work through this? Does anyone know of any other resources we can tap?
Sorry for the long post. I really appreciate any insight any of you can offer.