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Confession Wednesday!

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Re: Confession Wednesday!

  • image Jennyinheaven:
    image erbur78:

    As an only child of parents that have had on/off relationships with their siblings currently and over the years, I thank my lucky stars I am their only.  Most of the conflicts generated when the last surviving parent died...conflicts over money, over property, etc.  Makes me realize--that while terribly difficult and permanent--all decisions end with me. 

    My "family" is my mom, dad, husband and the rest are either first cousins (most of them are close in age to my parents) or family friends.

    I think it is a whole lot easier to be judgy on this type of behavior when you haven't experienced family trouble issues. In my family both sides we all get along great and generaly enjoy seeing each other. We have always had good relations when family passed and things need to be divided etc.

    However now that I am in DH's family I see some members who act a fool and I can see why you would eventually give up on them family or not, it is just to draining. For example DH's one brother who is a drug addict has stolen from all of, us, been in repeated re-habs, robbed his mother's jewlery last christmas eve and had her crying in church etc. His latest escapade is taking and totaling my FIL's car. I am getting at a point where I don't want to talk to him or see him , family or not.

    Judgy? I'm not trying to come across as judgy of those with siblings. It's something that is unknown to me, other than what I've seen with my parents and their siblings.  Given the fact that I'm the only, I can guarantee that I won't have siblings questioning my decisions as my parents get older.  It sucks that I don't have a sibling to lean on for support when these life events occur, but the conversations I have with my parents now about their wishes rest with me and I'm the only one I have to answer to. 

    Most of my feelings stem from my mom's comments in recent years that she wishes that she could have given me a sibling now that I'm older...but, I assured her that I have my husband and some very close cousins that are like siblings, but I am grateful that I can avoid the "that's hers, this is mine" drama I've seen with my aunt/uncle after the passing of grandparents.  Seeing that happen and the upset it caused--so soon after burying a grandparent--stuck with me for a long time.   

  • image erbur78:
    image Jennyinheaven:
    image erbur78:

    As an only child of parents that have had on/off relationships with their siblings currently and over the years, I thank my lucky stars I am their only.  Most of the conflicts generated when the last surviving parent died...conflicts over money, over property, etc.  Makes me realize--that while terribly difficult and permanent--all decisions end with me. 

    My "family" is my mom, dad, husband and the rest are either first cousins (most of them are close in age to my parents) or family friends.

    I think it is a whole lot easier to be judgy on this type of behavior when you haven't experienced family trouble issues. In my family both sides we all get along great and generaly enjoy seeing each other. We have always had good relations when family passed and things need to be divided etc.

    However now that I am in DH's family I see some members who act a fool and I can see why you would eventually give up on them family or not, it is just to draining. For example DH's one brother who is a drug addict has stolen from all of, us, been in repeated re-habs, robbed his mother's jewlery last christmas eve and had her crying in church etc. His latest escapade is taking and totaling my FIL's car. I am getting at a point where I don't want to talk to him or see him , family or not.

    Judgy? I'm not trying to come across as judgy of those with siblings. It's something that is unknown to me, other than what I've seen with my parents and their siblings.  Given the fact that I'm the only, I can guarantee that I won't have siblings questioning my decisions as my parents get older.  It sucks that I don't have a sibling to lean on for support when these life events occur, but the conversations I have with my parents now about their wishes rest with me and I'm the only one I have to answer to. 

    Most of my feelings stem from my mom's comments in recent years that she wishes that she could have given me a sibling now that I'm older...but, I assured her that I have my husband and some very close cousins that are like siblings, but I am grateful that I can avoid the "that's hers, this is mine" drama I've seen with my aunt/uncle after the passing of grandparents.  Seeing that happen and the upset it caused--so soon after burying a grandparent--stuck with me for a long time.   

    erbur - maybe I expressed my self wrong. i was agreeing with you. I was saying that I used to judge people who would cut family out of their lives, until I saw what toxic family can do the rest of it's members.

  • My mom wants to spend all this "family time" (yes, she calls it that) together lately. I live 2 hrs away. No, i do not want to drive up all the time any more than you want to drive down.

    Also, she makes it sound like we're all close. We're NOT. I don't not get along with my family, but this sudden "we're all best friends" thing is nauseating. We're not close. We're kind of like...cousins.

  • I confess I would liek to know who is rating the confession post.

     

    Baby Numbers 11.8.10 The Sequel on or around 10.13.12
  • image cookiemonster03:

    My mom wants to spend all this "family time" (yes, she calls it that) together lately. I live 2 hrs away. No, i do not want to drive up all the time any more than you want to drive down.

    Also, she makes it sound like we're all close. We're NOT. I don't not get along with my family, but this sudden "we're all best friends" thing is nauseating. We're not close. We're kind of like...cousins.

    Um...are you my SIL?  Because your mom sounds an awful lot like my MIL.  The newfound 'we're all so close and BFF family!' is nauseating.

    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/358vw3t.jpg[/IMG]
    Aisling Rose 8/8/10
    Declan James 9/18/12
  • My confession is that I have owned my car for 8 years and just now discovered that there is an extra step in getting it into 4WD other than just flipping the switch

    So all these years I drove in snow thinking I was in 4WD - yeah not so much

    image
    DS 3.12.08
    DD 7.11.09
    DD 8.01.13
  • I purposely crashed my shopping cart into some jerkoff's cart in Wegman's today.  It was a madhouse in there and he was behind me pushing his cart into my heels.  I turned around and asked him to stop and he told me to keep moving in a very nasty tone (I was stuck behind a sweet old lady on a motorized cart).  I curtly reminded him that it's 2 days before Christmas.  That's when he pushed past me with his cart, so I hit his cart with mine, ha (maturity flew out the window!).  Then he got crazy when I asked him to not be such an a-hole at Christmas.  He practically stuck his finger in my nose when he got in my face and told me not to be such a biotch.  He stormed away in his tightass jeans when I started laughing.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • image tracyd21:
    I purposely crashed my shopping cart into some jerkoff's cart in Wegman's today.  It was a madhouse in there and he was behind me pushing his cart into my heels.  I turned around and asked him to stop and he told me to keep moving in a very nasty tone (I was stuck behind a sweet old lady on a motorized cart).  I curtly reminded him that it's 2 days before Christmas.  That's when he pushed past me with his cart, so I hit his cart with mine, ha (maturity flew out the window!).  Then he got crazy when I asked him to not be such an a-hole at Christmas.  He practically stuck his finger in my nose when he got in my face and told me not to be such a biotch.  He stormed away in his tightass jeans when I started laughing.

    Holy crap!  That is the most horrible thing I have ever heard!  This is why people punch others while shopping during the holidays.  I would have been on the 5 o'clock news if this happened to me!  Kudos to you for not beating that guy's asss!

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